Thursday, January 29, 2009

How does a junky fall in love?

Opiates...the best fuck you'll ever have. Junkies fall in love at first sight, usually with a pill. The first time you take a Percocet, its like your first kiss. You know you want more, and you try to find that kiss again and again. Of course you never marry your first kiss. A few months later your ready to move on. You go out and find yourself a bad boy, a boy you want to fuck, but you can't lose your virginity right now. Fuck your too young to break that Hymen. Your gonna save that for your true love. So you find some Oxycontin, you crush it up and snort it. You've almost made a home run. It felt good. Too good. Fuck, fuck, fuck me...harder, harder, harder. Then you meet him, he's the baddest of all bad boys. He's highly illegal, he got big brown eyes, and he wants you as much as you want him. You know he's the one. Your gonna let him take your sweet Innocent pussy. Your gonna find Heroin...oh what a beautiful name. No that you've been around the block a time or two, you people. People like you, people who are high, as high as you want to be. You watch as everyone around is cooking their Heroin, and sucking that Heroin up into a syringe, and then...then.....he offer to put that needle in your arm. You figure why take the bus when you can fly. I'm ready, I know I love him, he slides that needle ever so gently into your ripe vein, so eager, so full, and he pulls the plunger back, and you watch as your blood blossoms into the syringe, and as soon as that blood is in the syringe he pushes the plunger in...Oh God, Oh God, fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm gonna cum. That's it, your in love. No one can take the way you feel for you lover will never die. The love will burn as an eternal flame inside you until the day you die.

Suddenly your three months in, and every time you cook up your shot, its just like foreplay. You can't wait for him to enter you. Become apart of you again. One morning you wake up, and your lover isn't in the bed with you. You have to go out and find him. Without him, you feel like your going to die. Every part of your body is screaming out to have him again, and again, and again. You can't find him, he's fucking around on you. He's breaking your heart. Your out there and your here sick, and he's out fooling around. Your pissed, but then he comes home. He's ready to fuck you, and your so eager you don't care where he was, who he was with, your just glad he's here with you now. This cycle repeats itself. Love, hate, love, hate, and you'll do anything for him. Anything!

A year later, those veins aren't so fresh, and your shaking while cooking up your shot. Your eyes are watering, your nose runs, you hair hurts...until, until, you find a vein, not as fresh as before, but its a way into your blood stream.
Fuck men, fuck women, you know the only one you can love is Heroin, such a beautiful name.

9 comments:

Noah said...

I loved that fucking post. Really goddamned good stuff Anna...

L said...

This is so creative...and so fucking true...you couldn't have described it better...because it IS a love affair of sorts. I always say that my ex cheated on me with the other love of his life: DRUGS.

Leyla said...

god, I relate to this so fucking much...could it be any more true? It sucks, because we're not supposed to love our drug, especially to find it so ROMANTIC and KIND, and if we do then we're considered "sick" or "dregs of society". What, because we like to feel a lovedrug feeling without even being in love? Anyway, I really like the line about heroin having "big brown eyes" hehehe.

Boston Joe said...

that was fucking great.. you have a talent with words for sure.. I know EXACTLY what you mean too. The first time I shot dope I was like, why the fuck have I been wasting my time snorting this shit all this time?
Know what else, no matter how long you are away, you know your lover is there waiting for you...

Anonymous said...

powerful stuff... now write the rest of the story. love antigo

Beautiful Things Can Come From The Dark said...

Your gonna let him take your sweet Innocent pussy.. or stinky pussy. haha

Anonymous said...

you're nuts!

AnnaGrace said...

I'm nuts! Thank you so much. That is thee best compliment you could have ever left me. Thank you. I am nuts. Always and forever.

I was even thinking of writing a book that made no sense whatsoever, and and just use sorted stories from life, in no particular order. Knowing most everyone on the planet would hate it, makes even better.

I hate you, you hate me. Could it get any better than that.

I'm nuts! Thank you!

Dad and Mom said...

Good writing and a perfect comparison to the feeling of using for those of us that don't.

Write the book, anxious for the ending but keep in mind books with a happy ending sell better, Use your life experience and be around of the book tour and Oprah.