Sunday, March 15, 2009

Its only after we've lost everything are we free to do anything

Fight club...what a great book, and an amazing movie. Tyler Durden, said that. Actually Chuck Panalchack, spelling of his last name I don't know, but that's how it sounds. Anyway, he's the authour of Fight Club.

I feel if I was free of people to please, and things to take care of, and bills to pay, then, and only then would I be truly free.
Alot easier said than done. I love my family too much to just up and leave them, my dog is something I take of, and I love her, like really love her. It hurts how much I love her. Possesions mean nothing to me. What I can in my pockets is good enough for me, but for my dog Elleanor I need more, stabilty. Ahh fuck. I'm never having kids. I can't imagine how much that would keep me from doing what I want to do with life.
Life is so fucked up.
I want to loose everything in a way, but I don't want to loose everything in another way. I don't want to hurt anyone just so I can be free. Someday...I will be truley free. I can build a life without possesions, no more than needed, and just be.
Maybe take a few bricks of Heroin with me.
I'm gonna go in my parents bed room and pet Eleanor, because I love her, and I want her to feel that I love her.

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