I suck at this writing thing. I had fooled myself into believing that I had some kind of talent for the written word, but fuck it, I have to face the facts, and realize that I have NO talent whatsoever. I'm about as useless a human being as can be.
I like to write, and its the only constructive thing I do, read and write, but I'm not good at, I'm not even average at it, I suck at it.
Please anyone who reads this, do not say I'm good when you know I suck. Don't try to make me feel better.
I plan on going to school to make myself better at writing. That is if I can even get into school, and pay for it, and stay off dope long enough to learn anything about writing to make me a better writer.
I've run out of my Bi Polar meds...the ones that keep from getting depressed, and I only have the Lithium left which keeps me from going into a mania.
I can't go back to Wisconsin, I can't go back to Wisconsin not on Methadone. I just feel like there is NO fucking meaning to life, and who knows the world may end December 21st 2012.
I'm so sick of this, this excuse of a life I lead. I want to change my life, but I'm being pulled back to Wisconsin, where I do not want to go at all.