This morning we woke, and found that our door opened properly. Still my parents are very freaked out by the situation, and want to move our of Hawaii asap. Which is bad for me. I have no idea what in the world will happen with all my psych treatments, and Methadone treatment. In Wisconsin they don't have health insurance for the poor, and homeless in Wisconsin, and just getting my Methadone cost 100 dollars A WEEK. The medication I need for my Bi Polar costs 100's of dollars a month, not to mention the therapy, and Psychologist appointments. Going back to Wisconsin is pointless for me. Not to mention I have legal issues that have not been cleared up. Which of course my dad thinks he can fix by just calling a lawyer.
Weird things have still been happening, but nothing as dangerous as the door being screwed shut, and fire lit outside our kitchen window. This evening I went to seven eleven and got a pack of smokes, by myself (which the police had warned us not to do), but I was in desperate need of a smoke so I made my down. I got to the sidewalk, and pushed the walk button, when some guy ran up to me, and pinned me against the post, and said, "you can't toy with me like some cat. I know you are attracted to me and want to have sex with me." I wash in shock and my heart was pounding so hard I thought this guy could hear it. At first I didn't know what to say. I had never seen this man in my life. He was in his late 20's early 30's, with blonde hair down to his chin. He wasn't ugly by any means. It took me a few seconds to come back with a retort that would get him to unpin me from the post. So I said, "I'm sorry, but I have no clue who you are, and I have not toyed with you in any way deliberately. I'm a lesbian, I am only sexual attracted to women." By those words he was stunned, he backed away from me, and yelled, "You will atone for you sins, may God have mercy on your soul." As he ran away from me.
As you can imagine my adrenaline was pumping, so I ran into seven eleven, and used the lady at the counter's cell phone to call my mom. I told her to come down to and get me. There was no way I was leaving that store alone.
While waiting for my mom, I racked my brain to find an image of this man that pinned me against the post. I do believe I have seen him before, I've seen him inside the seven eleven I was in, and sitting outside on the stoop of our apartment building a number of times, but never really payed much attention to him. At most I may have smiled and nodded my head at him to say quick hello.
My mom gets to the Seven Eleven, and we are wondering if we should call 911. I wasn't in immediate danger anymore, and the man was long gone. So we decided against calling the police, and instead my mom walked me home, and I gave a description of the man who had accosted me to our door man, and told him to keep an our for him. He was wearing a red T-shirt with a picture of the Hawaiian Islands on it, he had black swim trunk shorts on, and blonde hair, down to his chin, with a above average looking face, but was insane in the membrane. (remember that song?)
When I got back to the apartment, I thought to myself, wtf is this attractive crazy guy obsessing over me for? I'm over 200lbs, I've given up on putting on makeup, except for the black eye liner and eye shadow I can't leave the house without. I sweat profusely from the Methadone. I shower at most once a week, and my hair is literlly a mess, with snarls all over. I mean come on, the photos of myself on my blog are the photos that I thought were the best, and those photos are not the most attractive photos ever. You can tell I'm alot fatter than I was just a year and a half ago, form my pictures on my Myspace profile.
Aside from the stranger danger that happened this evening, I haven't done much. I found out that my welfare is being cut off, I'll still get my health insurance, and food stamps. Which means my benzo habit has to stop. It has to stop. My Methadone treatment has to stop, and I need to loose weight, which I do every time I move out on my own, or in with a boyfriend, or girlfriend. Its like when I live with my parents all I do is eat, and me and dad have stopped working out about a Month ago. I have to start that up again, but who knows maybe that is where I this guy who thinks I'm toying with him like a cat is from.
Next time anything like that happens, or if I see him again, I'm gonna scream at the top of my lungs, and I can scream very loud, like break your ear drums loud, and not leave the apartment without my mom or dad. Which sucks.
I'm so pissed at myself for putting up photos of my apartment, and other photos that anyone who lives in Honolulu could figure out where I live. Even though they don't exactly which apartment I live in. Unless I did, and don't remember. From now on I'm going to be extremely vague when it comes to where I live, and what I do during the day, and at what time.
Eleanor is coming with me and my mom and dad every time we leave the house. Making sure that nobody hurts my baby girl.
I must go, but I will write more sooner rather than later.