Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Lastnight was a hard night. My parents were watching American Idol. A show I despise, and they were laughing pretty hard at something, which peaked my curiosity so I came out and wanted to know what they were laughing about. My mom told me to look at this guy singing. He had longer blonde hair, and big blue eyes, and I guess one of the judges has a crush on him, and said something funny to him. I quick glanced at this man on American Idol, and thought aloud, "he looks like Kurt Cobain".

I then went back into my room and looked a picture of Kurt that I glued to the wall beside my bed, and realized he looked nothing like Kurt. Then I felt this overwhelming urge to get high. To loose myself in the oh so lovely high Heroin produces. To make myself feel better about being non talented, and about knowing that Kurt's dead and gone. Gone a long time now. This made me feel terriable, I just wanted to shut off all the lights and TV, and crawl into a ball. I often did this in jail. So I shut off the lights and TV, and pulled out my MP3 player. I couldn't bring myself to listen to Nirvana, so I listened to Elliott Smith. I took some Clonazepam to calm myself down. and ended up falling asleep listening to Elliott's soothing voice. I only slept for at most an hour.

Then I woke up and started my self portriate. IT SUCKS!


Gledwood said...

You know Curt Cobain got his drugs from the local caravan site... no "celebrity dealers" for him!!

Gledwood said...

O yeah, and Courtney Love took charge of his credit cards and finances when he was in rehab... Controlling bitch.

I note none of her "morals" stopped her getting stoned on the huge inheritance he passed on to her, the bitch!

Sarcastic Bastard said...

I love Elliot Smith, too. He had quite a gift.

Sending love. I am still reading.


AnnaGrace said...

I figured Kurt would get his drugs from the capitol Hill area. He was all about being just another person. Not some celeb who thought he was god's gift.

AnnaGrace said...

Yeah, Courtney is something else. If only they had never crossed pathes. But they did, and he never got to see how beautiful his daughter grew up to be.

AnnaGrace said...

Thanks for still reading SB. Elliott is amazing.