Tuesday, May 25, 2010


Gled this one is for you!!!

Wisconsin is hellish. The closest biggest city is Miluakee which is about an hour north of Chicago. I love Chicago, its where I used to go to buy large amounts of dope. China White babe. I do have friends belive it or not, but I've put myself in exile. Why? I'm not even sure. I just do not like people unless I am high. Maybe I do like people too much and can't bear to watch all the suffering we put eachother thru. Meghan is my closest freind. We met in my first rehab, the actuall 28 day inpatient treatment center in Green Bay WI. She was the only other IV Heroin addict. We bonded immediatly. She has the same brand of dry humour I like to think I have. Meghan and I have a weird relationship though. We use eachother to get drugs. If I have something in exess I call her, and if she has somthing in exess she calls me. We like to share with eachother. If something bad happens to one of us we are there for eachother in an instant. I love Meghan with all my heart. I love her baby Sophia too. Since Meghan became a mother its like she knows somthing more than I can know, and I know that is true. A mothers love for their child is something only a mother can know.

I'm forgetting your email already. Why did she put the spoon on the cheese?

The fact that your NEARLY forty makes no diffrence to me. Give me another good reason. I'm still all about a photo. I haven't checked you blog yet today, so if its up I appoligize.

Hawaii. As I've said before, I looked at the past with rose colored glasses on. As soon as something is taken away from me I am instantly nostaligic. I must be one of those narracisstic assholes who only appreciates something when its gone. (took that last sentence from Kurt's suicide note) So I miss Hawaii dearly. Mainly though I miss the city. Its like I need a big city to function. I need to know there is a dealer in Chinatown that I can call at a moments notice. I need a bus or subway to get where I'm going without a fucking car. I need lots of people around me so I can hate all of them except the one or two I pick out as dear friends. I tend to attach myself to people. I find one person I can really be genuine with and in my mind and body that person is as dear to me as my family. I'm saying dear way too much. I love people with accent and I can't help but mimic them when speaking with them. I swear on my sister's grave that I do it uncousiosly. Really any city will do, any English speaking country. I count three of them, USA, England, Irealand...wait four Austrailia. No I never got sick of Aloha. Its a beautiful word which means love. Your always greeted with love.

I have a question. Do they have an equivalant to Social Secutity Disabilty in England? Just curious. Just incase your wondering what your reading, pretty much a email to Gled. Those of you who don't know Gled should go check out his blog Gledwood main blog vol. 2 go to my profile and see it in the blogs that I read.

I have more to say, but I'm on the phone with Meghan.


Gledwood said...

thank you <<:-}

Sweden said...

u forgot "canada" its an english spoken country....and not very far from USA

Gledwood said...

I've been reading backwards. Do you get comments emailed to you? I left this one in March 2010? Will it get lost here. I will repeat it for you because it goes on about Kurt and Courntey. Also I have a question about the gear you used to take.
You know in Afghanistan since WE and YOU flooded in ~ heroin production has rocketed to all-time highs! Yet America seemingly doesn't care. Hardly any Afgan heroin, so I hear, reaches American streets. It all goes to European and Asian countries. So America does not care... Anyhow:

Blogger Gledwood said...

I think you were about the same age when Kurt died as I was when John Lenon got shot

May 25, 2010 10:16 PM
Blogger Gledwood said...

apparently afterwards Courtney put up these long rants about him on the dial-up internet of the day, which was so slow you basically didn't want to look at websites with pictures, they took forever to load... she also had long online chats with fans, everything

where all this stuff is now, I've no idea. Surely someone somewhere took a print-out. It would probably make a fantastic book, if only they could scrape it together and publish...

btw I read one of the books about Curt Kobain and it made out Courtney to be a real controlling bitch. Separating him from his credit cards to ensure he came home to HER, not the Dealer. When she went out and used just as much as she pleased.

Also his life put paid to the myth of the Rock Star's Dealer. Surely there are and have been such characters, but by and large the rich and famous score off the same peole who serve the rest of us.

Curt used to go to the local caravan site to score ~ and a lot of it was yukky Mexican tar. How glamorous is that!

Grunge by name, grunge by nature, I spose....

By the way Anna can I ask you something about the gear you get/got is it always white? As in China white... Or did you end up using that tar stuff? That sounds nasty nasty to me. I would never go near tar in a million years if I had any option in the matter. Do you ever get brown powder heroin? Or grey powder? If so do you know where it comes from? Did you ever get Afghan gear? Normally that would be beige and you would need lemon juice to break it down, then the hit looks dark brown (though it can be pale). I heard American gear comes mostly from Columbia or Mexico... Ours is all from Asia. Afghanistan or Pakistan. In years past: also Iran and Turkey. Sometimes we get Burmese gear but that is pretty rare, the last lot I had looked just like crack, I thought I'd been ripped off. But it smelt slightly of vinegar. I boiled it down in a spoon, it left behind what looked like tap-water with the vaguest hint of yellow. When I banged it up I found myself staggering in the middle of the room for an hour, not knowing where I was or what day it was, hanging on the side of the sink... (Strong gear!)

AnnaGrace said...

I can't fucking belive I fucking forgot Canada. That is why my IQ is only 105. Stupid like every other American who went to public school.
No offence ment.

AnnaGrace said...

Yes, Gled. I do get my comments emailed to me, but I never read the one where you mention that you and I are the same age as Kurt and John Lennon.

You know I'm in love with you Gled. And I'm downloading some books for my nook, and was wondering if you could give me some books that you really like so I can read them and become as smart as you, and not leave these run on sentences.


AnnaGrace said...

I've only gotten China white and brown sugar. Mainly Afganistan on the East Coast, and from Mexico on the West coast. Since I'm closer to the West coast in Wisconsin. In Hawaii it was tar. I don't mind tar that much. Maybe because I like things dirty. Like my underwear. That was childish, but well I'm a child.