Sunday's suck. I don't take my methadone until later in the day. I took a long bike ride again today, except today I rode with my mom. Yesterday me and mom went shopping for a bike for her. I like her bike better than mine. Her's has handel bar brakes. Mine has pedel brakes. Both are beach crusiers. Still can't get Hawaii out of our heads. My dad is talking about going back to Hawaii for the winter no matter how far the house is. He is just dying to go back to Hawaii as am I. My mother is the only hold out. I've been online looking for places in my price range to live with a roommate, and that is around 380.00 dollars. So I would probably need two roommates. My old friend Charlie gave me his new phone number and I called him in Hawaii, but he didn't answer. I had forgotten its five hours behind us. I had called him at like three in the after noon, and which means its only 10am there, and he's probably just going to get his Methadone if he's still on it. He alway woke up late.
I used to call Charlie, Crazy Charlie because when he likes someone he puts his heart all the way out there. Unlike myself who only puts it out just enough to make sure its not going to get hurt. If it even thinks its going to get hurt, it hurts the others heart before my heart can be broken. Crazy Charlie is in alot of my 2008 and early 2009 posts. On a side note, I started smokeing Camel wides blue. They burn alot slower and have more tobacco in them. I am quitting smoking on July 5th. Any way Charlie's way of putting himself out there all the way to either be loved or hurt through and through is something I have never seen. I tried to explain to him that it was weird to me the way he approches a relationship. We were in a relationship in 2007 autum-winter until I left for Wisconsin. When I came back in 2008 I didn't want to be in a relationship any longer. I needed time to myself. Still I hung out with guys from Fort St. Mall. Fort St. Mall is where all the drugs were. Where I felt at home. I hung out there all day almost every day in 2007, in 2008 my parents were hip to my ways. So I could only spend my mornings there.
I left in 2008 in only because I had to, to get my SSI. I had warrents for my arrest from 2006 that needed to be taken care of before I could start getting my payments. So I flew home with my parents and turned myself in and did the 77 days in jail plus 19 in the nut house. Other wise I would have stayed in Hawaii .
All those people who hate me for being getting all their money for my SSI probably wish I would have never gotten my legal troubles cleared up. Ha ha ha ha. I'm riding the gravy train. To those of you who understand Bi Polar mental illness and those of us who can't find medications to stop the cycleing. Then sorry. 675 dollars is nothing in the wake of maddness.
Anyway, I'm not going anywhere with this. I just want to mention I bought a bunch of Marigolds yesterday and re potted them. I bought Marigolds because of the song that Kurt wrote before he died, and now its out there and rare find on tape deck. If you comb the internet you find it. If I knew how to pull up stuff from the internet I'd post the lyrics here and picturs of marigolds. Courtney tried to take credit for the song. But Kurt even said that he and Courtney often wrote music together. Pennyroyal Tea is a song that both Kurt and Courtney wrote. So I do believe that both Kurt and Courtney had a hand in the lyrics and music of Marigold. There is another title to the song, the chorus has marigold in it.
Fuck you Kurt for killing yourself.