Sunday, July 11, 2010

10 good reasons to stay alive. 10 good reason I cannot find

Miles and miles of perfect skin I swear I do I fit right in. Miles and miles and miles of perfect sin, I swear I said I fit right in your perfect skin.

Your all probably all wondering, hmm what happened last night with that Jess guy you've been talking about for the past week. Well first off we did have sex. I'm no longer on a two year drought. I've been fucked. I've cum. I'm trying to count in my head as I write this how many times I came exactly...7 times. Oh God, I had forgotten how good a man feels. Just thinking about him right now makes my loins burn. Boys have big muscles I had totally forgotten how good it feels to grab onto a guys arm or shoulder. To feel their back and the muscles in their backs. Then I forgot how good it feels to be fucked. It was brilliant. Poor guy. He had a bad knee, he ended up doing all the humping. I feel so bad about that. I did attempt to get on top, but it kept falling out and I ended up getting a charlie horse in my calf. So yes, I have forgotten how to fuck. I need much more practice. Which hopefully I'll have. That's not it for the sex, but I sorta just jumped into it. I'll tell you exactly what happened.

I do believe that I don't have to worry about Jess reading my blog any longer so I can write without hurting his feelings. Not that anything I have to say right now would hurt his feelings. If he did read it he would probably get a huge ego. One has to be careful either way.

On Saturday around 5:15pm I left Oconto Falls for Oshkosh. It was about an hour and a half drive. I had taken five Clonazepam right before I left to keep my nerves at bay. Then I felt myself get tired, so I bought a Redbull for the road. I also bought a Sparks. A Sparks is a cheap beer, that is mixed with energy drink in it. I also bought myself a six pack of Mike's Hard Lemonade. I did drink and drive a little bit, I slammed that Sparks and got the buzz. Its like the perfect place in between being drunk and sober. By the time I was to the exit I had to take in Oshkosh I threw the Sparks out the window then I followed the directions I got from google maps, not the directions Jess gave me. Sure Jess live there, but Google Earth can find me right now if I asked it to. I don't think he could do that.

Anyway, I found his place no problem. He was out in the garage. I recognized him right away from a pretty far distance. Rory, Jess' brother and Rory's girlfriend Natalie were in the garage. For some reason as soon as I got there all the anxiety I had felt building up by that point just dissipated away. I was immediately at ease. I got a Mike's Hard Lemonade and a cigarette. I talked with everyone, and it all went smoothly. I thought it would be a lot harder since all we did was text each other. We had never even spoken on the phone to each other. I must say I HATE TALKING ON THE PHONE. I love writing, so texting suites me. Its much easier to say things when you write them.

We stayed out in the garage and talked for a while, then I had to pee. Jess took me in the house to show me the bathroom. I had him show me around the whole house. He showed me his room. He explained to me that his bed was noisy so we had to take the mattress off the bed. First we kissed on the bed, then (as I write about all smells and taste are coming back to me. Its like the Butthole Suffers's song lyric. I can taste you on my lips and smell you on my clothes. I did wipe his cum off of me with the t-shirt I've been sleeping in all day)as things began to move along he took the mattress off the bed, and onto the floor. We got naked. He went down on me, and I came. Stupidly I didn't bite a pillow and let everyone who was outside a few feet away hear. Including his father, his father's girlfriend, and some of his other father's friends, and Natalie, Rory, plus some of their friends. When we got done we went back down to the garage, and we tried to play it off as though I was just being tickled, but that wasn't going to cut it. Poor Jess that's got be awkward. Having sex in earshot of your dad. I've done it before, and I'm a loud one in bed. Me and my ex used to live with my parents. My parents had to have herd me, they just never said anything about to avoid an embarrassing conversation.

Anyway, we stayed up and drank for a while longer. Jess' phone is cooler than my phone. His phone has a track ball to scroll up, down, and side to side with. My htc phone has no such thing, plus I have to bring it into the store to set up my email on my phone.

After we finished in the garage we went up into his room. We had sex again. I must say Jess is very good at eating pussy, and fingering pussy too as well as fucking it. He came on my tits, a great money shot. I think that's only the second time in my sexual history that a guy ever made it to the tits to cum. He has a sexy body, and a sexy face. I could name a star for his eyes. He makes me laugh so hard I'd cough. Hopefully its not Tuberculosis. I'd get kicked out of the Methadone clinic not to mention I'd be contagious to everyone who I cough on.

Then right before we fell asleep Jess asked me if I wanted to be in a relationship. I said no. He just go out of a Marriage. They were together ten years. I would just be a rebound. I don't want to let someone in and then have his ex come back to him and it not like I can compete with marriage vows and raising a child together even if the baby isn't his. I'd be the one hurt. I'd be the one back on the needle. Since I'm not a good criminal probably facing prison time sooner or later. Plus I don't understand why he would like me enough to want to be in a relationship. You can't love somebody else until you love yourself. No matter how badly you want to. I think I hurt his feelings. I told him I'd make him jump through hoops to be in a relationship with me. When in reality all it would take is flowers and I would probably do it, but I worry the whole time that I'm going to get hurt, or hurt him. I'd always want to make sure I knew I'd have a way to get junk if something went wrong so I wouldn't have to feel any kind of emotional pain. Being a rebound sucks. Being the fat, ugly, stupid, rebound sucks even more. I swear to you he's so fucking hot its almost worth getting your heart ripped out of your throat for.

17 comments:

Sweden said...

wow u dont hold anything back huh

btw loves yer blog, and i don't get all the haters

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Honesty is the best policy, Anna. And you are right when you said: You can't love somebody else until you love yourself. No matter how badly you want to.

Anonymous said...

Sorry for the late night text saturday night! I was drunk. I got some dick too!! my first time getting some while drunk.

-A

AnnaGrace said...

Sweden,

Nope I don't hold anything back. What would be the point of you guys reading if I held back on my life. I tell you everything I think and do for your entertainment value. For thereputic value for me. Thanks for loving my blog. I always love to hear that.

AnnaGrace said...

SB,

I am being as honest as possiable with Jess. I don't see any reason not to. I hate my body right now, and haveing sex right now in this body I though would be hard, but I just went with wild abandon.

I want to tell Jess that I'd love to be in a relationship with him. I'm afraid of getting hurt or hurting him. He comes off like he's unbreakable, but he's so sweet I feel like it would take just the wrong breeze and he'd break like a twig. Emotionally speaking. He put up with a lot with his soon to be ex wife, she put him through the wringer. I don't want to hurt him even the littlest bit. I just want to make him feel good about himself because he deserves that.

AnnaGrace said...

April,

No proboblem about the late night text. I was awake when it came through, and I figured it was a drunken text. Glad we both got laied on Sat. Was your drought as long as mine? I highly doubt it. LOL! Its nice to hear from you.

Gledwood said...

Anna have you considered writing erotic fiction? You know the genre I'm on about..?..comes in series with titles like Black Lace..? I reckon you'd be really really good at it.
You have an obvious talent for writing, but if you want to get in print, it needs to be directed into something commercially viable.
So before you start read a couple of examples. And the publishers will usually have an online guide stating exactly what they do/don't want in manuscripts.
I reckon you're a natural!

I have a blogger friend who's just had a romance published (I think it's straight romance not erotica but I'm not sure) called Windswept Shores here's her link:

http://ladyjanice.blogspot.com

Annalisa said...

God... you drove under the influence of alcohol AND five clonazepams? Yeah, I'm glad I live far from Wisconsin, and at the same time I'm scared that there might be people like you where I live, willing to endanger me and my children for the sake of getting some dick.

AnnaGrace said...

Gledwood,

Erotic Fiction, I've never thought to write that. You've got me thinking. I'm totally comfortable writing about sex and even enjoy it a lot. I'd have to do some practice. I like to read erotic fiction too. I read it in magazines like Hustler and Penthouse.

I would need to get a book of publishers. Can you look that up on line, who takes erotic fiction. It would probably be loosely based erotic fiction. I'll take from my own experiences. I've tried a lot of things in life. I like kink. Not hard core S&M though. If I did do S&M I'd probably be okay at being the Sadist. I don't want to be the M. I've done three somes, with two guys, two girls, foursomes with couples. I taken it in the ass, with a cock with a dildo, I've given it in the ass with a dildo. I've peed on and been peed on. I'm willing to try more, and as always I want to be the best lay a guy has ever had. I wish I was better at fucking a guy on top. I need to buy one of those dildo's that suctions to the floor and ride it on the floor so I can get my legs in shape to ride Jess.

AnnaGrace said...

Annalisa,

Your right. It was increadably dumb. I hate myself for what I did.

AG

Anonymous said...

I've done three somes, with two guys, two girls, foursomes with couples. I taken it in the ass, with a cock with a dildo, I've given it in the ass with a dildo. I've peed on and been peed on. I'm willing to try more, and as always I want to be the best lay a guy has ever had. I wish I was better at fucking a guy on top. I need to buy one of those dildo's that suctions to the floor and ride it on the floor so I can get my legs in shape to ride Jess.

You obviously have no respect for yourself.

Anonymous said...

"I've done three somes, with two guys, two girls, foursomes with couples. I taken it in the ass, with a cock with a dildo, I've given it in the ass with a dildo. I've peed on and been peed on. I'm willing to try more, and as always I want to be the best lay a guy has ever had. I wish I was better at fucking a guy on top. I need to buy one of those dildo's that suctions to the floor and ride it on the floor so I can get my legs in shape to ride Jess."

You obviously have no respect for
yourself.

No - it sounds like to me that she enjoys sex and strives to be the best at it she can. I wish more women were like AnnaG...instead of frigid, plastic bitches.

Randy. S.

AnnaGrace said...

Anonymous#1,
I ejoy sex, so I tried everything there is to try in the sexual area of life to see what I do and what I do not like. That does not mean I have no self respect. I'm sorry for you not having the guts to try anything other than the misonary postion their entire life. Have you ever even tasted cum?

There are two things I love to do. Sex and drugs. I like to do both of them well. I like to experiment with both of them. Even mix them up and do both at the same time.

AnnaGrace said...

Randy(Anonymous#2)
Thanks for standing up for me. I agree whole heartly with you. Jess read that comment and emailed me because he didn't understand why someone would call me a whore. I explained that I get mean comments all the time, but I also get nice comments like yours even more. So Randy your my hero of the day.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Let's all be cowardly judgmental assholes like Anonymous.

If you don't like Anna's honesty, don't read her. Simple fix.

Anonymous said...

what the hell are you waiting for? get in that relationship already!

Anonymous said...

I would have to agree with the erotic writing, AG. Not many people can be so descriptive, so comfortably. Romantic novels I've read cover it up with padded, mushy words which just make the house-wives feel better about getting horny without feeling guilty.