Miles and miles of perfect skin I swear I do I fit right in. Miles and miles and miles of perfect sin, I swear I said I fit right in your perfect skin.
Your all probably all wondering, hmm what happened last night with that Jess guy you've been talking about for the past week. Well first off we did have sex. I'm no longer on a two year drought. I've been fucked. I've cum. I'm trying to count in my head as I write this how many times I came exactly...7 times. Oh God, I had forgotten how good a man feels. Just thinking about him right now makes my loins burn. Boys have big muscles I had totally forgotten how good it feels to grab onto a guys arm or shoulder. To feel their back and the muscles in their backs. Then I forgot how good it feels to be fucked. It was brilliant. Poor guy. He had a bad knee, he ended up doing all the humping. I feel so bad about that. I did attempt to get on top, but it kept falling out and I ended up getting a charlie horse in my calf. So yes, I have forgotten how to fuck. I need much more practice. Which hopefully I'll have. That's not it for the sex, but I sorta just jumped into it. I'll tell you exactly what happened.
I do believe that I don't have to worry about Jess reading my blog any longer so I can write without hurting his feelings. Not that anything I have to say right now would hurt his feelings. If he did read it he would probably get a huge ego. One has to be careful either way.
On Saturday around 5:15pm I left Oconto Falls for Oshkosh. It was about an hour and a half drive. I had taken five Clonazepam right before I left to keep my nerves at bay. Then I felt myself get tired, so I bought a Redbull for the road. I also bought a Sparks. A Sparks is a cheap beer, that is mixed with energy drink in it. I also bought myself a six pack of Mike's Hard Lemonade. I did drink and drive a little bit, I slammed that Sparks and got the buzz. Its like the perfect place in between being drunk and sober. By the time I was to the exit I had to take in Oshkosh I threw the Sparks out the window then I followed the directions I got from google maps, not the directions Jess gave me. Sure Jess live there, but Google Earth can find me right now if I asked it to. I don't think he could do that.
Anyway, I found his place no problem. He was out in the garage. I recognized him right away from a pretty far distance. Rory, Jess' brother and Rory's girlfriend Natalie were in the garage. For some reason as soon as I got there all the anxiety I had felt building up by that point just dissipated away. I was immediately at ease. I got a Mike's Hard Lemonade and a cigarette. I talked with everyone, and it all went smoothly. I thought it would be a lot harder since all we did was text each other. We had never even spoken on the phone to each other. I must say I HATE TALKING ON THE PHONE. I love writing, so texting suites me. Its much easier to say things when you write them.
We stayed out in the garage and talked for a while, then I had to pee. Jess took me in the house to show me the bathroom. I had him show me around the whole house. He showed me his room. He explained to me that his bed was noisy so we had to take the mattress off the bed. First we kissed on the bed, then (as I write about all smells and taste are coming back to me. Its like the Butthole Suffers's song lyric. I can taste you on my lips and smell you on my clothes. I did wipe his cum off of me with the t-shirt I've been sleeping in all day)as things began to move along he took the mattress off the bed, and onto the floor. We got naked. He went down on me, and I came. Stupidly I didn't bite a pillow and let everyone who was outside a few feet away hear. Including his father, his father's girlfriend, and some of his other father's friends, and Natalie, Rory, plus some of their friends. When we got done we went back down to the garage, and we tried to play it off as though I was just being tickled, but that wasn't going to cut it. Poor Jess that's got be awkward. Having sex in earshot of your dad. I've done it before, and I'm a loud one in bed. Me and my ex used to live with my parents. My parents had to have herd me, they just never said anything about to avoid an embarrassing conversation.
Anyway, we stayed up and drank for a while longer. Jess' phone is cooler than my phone. His phone has a track ball to scroll up, down, and side to side with. My htc phone has no such thing, plus I have to bring it into the store to set up my email on my phone.
After we finished in the garage we went up into his room. We had sex again. I must say Jess is very good at eating pussy, and fingering pussy too as well as fucking it. He came on my tits, a great money shot. I think that's only the second time in my sexual history that a guy ever made it to the tits to cum. He has a sexy body, and a sexy face. I could name a star for his eyes. He makes me laugh so hard I'd cough. Hopefully its not Tuberculosis. I'd get kicked out of the Methadone clinic not to mention I'd be contagious to everyone who I cough on.
Then right before we fell asleep Jess asked me if I wanted to be in a relationship. I said no. He just go out of a Marriage. They were together ten years. I would just be a rebound. I don't want to let someone in and then have his ex come back to him and it not like I can compete with marriage vows and raising a child together even if the baby isn't his. I'd be the one hurt. I'd be the one back on the needle. Since I'm not a good criminal probably facing prison time sooner or later. Plus I don't understand why he would like me enough to want to be in a relationship. You can't love somebody else until you love yourself. No matter how badly you want to. I think I hurt his feelings. I told him I'd make him jump through hoops to be in a relationship with me. When in reality all it would take is flowers and I would probably do it, but I worry the whole time that I'm going to get hurt, or hurt him. I'd always want to make sure I knew I'd have a way to get junk if something went wrong so I wouldn't have to feel any kind of emotional pain. Being a rebound sucks. Being the fat, ugly, stupid, rebound sucks even more. I swear to you he's so fucking hot its almost worth getting your heart ripped out of your throat for.