Friday, July 2, 2010

Eat your cancer when it turns black

Its been awhile. I've been in the middle of a texting relationship. Lame I know. Cute to me thow. We know each other from our pasts. He was the boyfriend of my ex boyfriends, friend Melissa. His name is Jessie, and he and Melissa broke up just recently. Actually they were married. Right before their wedding Pete and Melissa had sex. Pete was trying to make me choose between him and drugs. I of course took the drugs over him. He still didn't break up with me and I didn't break up with him after he told about that. It took me stealing 600 dollars from his bank account to get him mad enough to break it off with me. He still came back to me after that, but he was broke and of no use to me. So I just didn't come back. I moved up to Michigan were doctors were writing me prescriptions to Dilauded.

Anyway, Jessie's brother and his brother's girlfriend go to the same Methadone clinic I go to. I said to them one day after they told me that Jessie and Melissa broke up that I thought that Jessie was cute. They told Jessie, and since then Natalie and Rory, Jessie's brother, and his girlfriend have been telling me all the things that Jessie has been saying about me. At first I didn't want to start up anything so I said I had no phone. Then Rory told me Jessie was thinking about buying me a phone. I thought that was cute. A few days later I found out Natalie and Rory were almost off the Methadone. So I gave them my phone number. It ended up in Jessie's hands and I've been getting texts for three days now. He asked me to go out this weekend to watch fireworks, but I said no. I told him I'd rather see him alone at him house next week. He gave me the days he is off. I told him I'd text him to tell him I was calling to tell him I was coming over.

He is pretty funny. Actually very funny. His text made me laugh so hard this morning that I was laughing so hard in Shopko my mother was so embarrassed that she nearly backhanded me. One of the first times I met Jessie he called me tootsie, and when i first tried to spell it I spelled it toots, and I thought that was about the funniest thing ever. I am the stupidest person ever really. I always wanted to shorten up prostituting to tootun, people always put bodily functions with these words. Mainly farting. Anyway this morning Jessie texted me "good morning tootsie roll ha ha." Probably was only meant to be mildly funny, but I find the most humour in the things that most people find mildly humorous.

Aside from my new texting relationship, the only thing new is I'm on Ritalin, but wait you already know that. I'm loosing weight because of it. I don't eat anything. I write alot on my book. Thank the fucking lord. I might actually finish it. I also journal alot. I'm writing and reading like a mad woman. I just don't do anything cool to blog about. I write and write, and then I don't have anything to share with all of you wonderful people.

I guess my life is like a car wreck. People like to read about it because its so fucked up. Because I want to put needles full of Heroin in my arm.

5 comments:

Carrion Doll said...

Your eyes in that first pic are a really awesome shade of blue. I hope this guy Jesse ends up being a good thing for you. Is he using?

Jessica said...

If I had a say in your life I wouldn't let you put heroin in your arms :(

Hope you are well though :)

(I always read your blog - Sorry for the randomness)

AnnaGrace said...

Carrion Doll,

Those are conntacts called Death dealer. I wish my eyes were that blue.
Jess, he corrected me its just Jess no e.Jess is not a user. I think he only drinks. A long time ago before I started shooting up I was over at his and his grilfreinds apartment, and me, my ex, and his ex, all used Morphine, but he opted out. I never asked why.I'm too afraid to see him now, because I'm too fat. I sound crazy don't I.

AnnaGrace said...

Jessica,
Well Jessica, I haven't put Heroin in my arms since 2009. Early 2009. I think it was March 2009 while in Hawaii. I didn't even get high. I never blogged about my Heroin use in Hawaii because my aunt Debbie reads my blogs, and she calls my parents if she reads about me using Heroin. So if I relapse I have to keep it to myself ,and try to tell you incouncpicously.

Carrion Doll said...

no you don't sound crazy. i have had issues with my weight going up and down over the years so i can understand. well it's good that he doesn't use at least. i think you should let him see you this way. if he is still interested then you know he is a really good guy that wants you for you and not for what you look like. it will be a really good test. has he not seen your blog?