Friday, July 30, 2010

I'll never make it to paradise

This morning I woke up in Jess' bedroom. As soon as my eyes opened I went for a cigarette, and I smoked that cigarette. Then I laid back down and touched Jess. He was warm all over. I scratched his back lightly and his sides, and his arms. His arms for my own gain. His arms turn me on. When I lightly touch his arms his veins reveal themselves to me. My vagina is moist almost immediately after his veins reveal themselves. Naughty me. I need a spanking. I lightly scratched his chest, and down to his thigh. I made my way to his penis. I just had to handle it for few moments and it became hard. He rubbed my clit with is fingers, and I was wet from feeling his arms. I came almost right away. I had my hand on his cock the whole time. playing with head of it and jerking him off whenever I could pull a rhythm together. After that I went down on him. His cock is perfect. I love it in my mouth and in my pussy. I love his tongue and his fingers. He kisses by the book, our lips like two blushing pilgrims. I can almost feel my pupils dilate when he touches me.

I take his cock down my throat all the way down. His cock is big so its hard to take all the way down, and I gag a bit. Gaging isn't the worst thing it brings up more saliva so it makes a blow job more lubed. When I feel like I can't take it down any further, I use my hand and twist it up and and the head and shaft and keep my mouth on his cock up and down the head and shaft. He cums in a few minutes and I take most of it in my mouth. I spit it out because as we know I don't waste a money a shot.

After he cums I smoke one more cigarette and finish dressing.

Last night, I came over to Jess' house reluctantly. I didn't want to be the one to come over and be heart broken, but I did it anyway. The sex is too good to pass up. Broken heart or no broken heart I still have sexual needs that have to be met.

I sometimes wonder if my feeling for Jess aren't just very powerful feelings of lust being confused with feelings of love. I'm ungodly attracted to him. I think he's the funniest person I've ever had the luck to screw. He is full of facts. You can ask him a question and most likely he will know the answer. Its my dream come true. I have to lose weight fast if I want to keep this one.

Today I purposely pushed his buttons to see how much he would take until he blew up at me. He didn't blow up at me, but he did tell me to stop saying what I was saying, because if I wanted to piss him off I was going about it the right way. So I decided to back off and leave him alone. I know how far I can push him now.

I also complained that he wasn't in love with me. Which he seemed to by pass and go straight to where I picked on him about his ex. Which I feel really bad about picking on him about. He did live through hell with her. Jess is a really nice guy. Which is probably the reason I fell so hard so fast for him. its hard for me to look him in the eye. He's too sexy and cunning and smart, and funny. When I look at him I want to jump his bones that instant. His eyes are so perfect. His mouth is perfect, his hair, his nose, his lips, his ears, his nipples, his arms. Damn asshole doesn't fucking like me. Using me for sex. Probably hates all the sex we have. To bad I love that Damn fucking asshole who is using me. At lest he won't get hurt in any of this. Every time I think of Jess I keep thinking of that Chris Isaak song "Oh I Want to Fall in Love".

So that's it. I'm done complaining for the day. I did write Jess an email that I just got today. It tells me to calm down. Take thing as they come. I'm someone who deals in instant gratification, and when I fall in love, I do so right then and there. No if and or buts about it. I just happened. There is no turing back. Even though he hogs the bed, and hits me with his arms and legs in bed and he snores I don't mind sleeping by him. Every other guy that did that in bed I would leave in the middle of the night, so I could go home and get some sleep. With Jess for some reason I can still sleep even though he's a rowdy sleeper.

I don't move around much in my sleep. At least not that I know about. I know I snore when I'm drunk. I don't kick, or shove. I do talk a lot in my sleep. especially when I've taken a lot of Clonazepam. I need some blow. today I've been nodding in and out all day. Yesterday, at Jess
house I took a shit load of Cloonies. There was no way I was going to be able to drive home. I got to stop blogging now. I keep nodding in and out and my parents are on my case. Its 5pm and I haven't been able to keep my eyes open a full hour all day. Time for spell check.


Anonymous said...

what's a cloony? anon #3

Anna Grace said...

cloonies are Clonazepam. Clonazepam is just like Xanax or Valium.