So I've spent my entire day trying to get the email on my htc smart phone to work today. I finally had to switch from yahoo to gmail to be able to write an email from my contacts and then for my phone to alert me when I get an email. Before I was only able to use the email on the Internet browser on my phone. Its been a long strange trip. More of a long annoying day. Emailing Jess just to see if he received the email, because he's the only person I know with email on their phone. Otherwise I wouldn't have bothered him with it. I got it done so I won't be bothering him with it. From now on when I email him it will only be about sex. The sex we had or the sex were going to have.
I got into trouble at the Methadone clinic on Saturday. I've been talking too much about my using past to the other patients. I've been caught too many times by the councilors. So on Saturday Meghan was there, and we were outside talking. I was telling her about my big night ahead of me. She was telling me that I shouldn't have sex with him the first time I see him in six years. He would respect me more. I tried to explain to her that I wasn't exactly looking for respect. We got to chatting, but we were away from the windows. It wasn't until her baby's daddy came out and we started walking towards her car that my councilor came out and yelled at Meghan to go home. She pulled me by the arm in the clinic and into Pat's office. That's the office they all use on Saturday's. She sits me down, and asks if I know why I'm in there, and I guessed it right on the head. The first thing my councilor asks is if I think I'm cycling again. Then I panic, are my moods cycling again? I do feel good. Am I in a hyper manic state. Do I have to prepare myself for a major crash? I tell Jamie I don't think I'm cycling. I couldn't tell her about Jess. I'm not allowed to see anyone while I'm on the Methadone. My councilor's rule. Even though when my councilor(who is only a year and a half older than I) is sitting out in the waiting are with me she and I point out all the hot guys together. I have two guys that I think are super hot. So hot I'm too scared to talk in front of them. Anyway, back to her yelling at me and scaring me into thinking I'm cycling out of control again. So she tells me my punishment. From now on when I come to the clinic I don't bother to take a number or sit down, I just go straight up to the dosing window and get dosed. I thought to myself that isn't a punishment. That's like getting let off work early with pay for screwing up. I pretended that I was appalled. I was like oh shit, now all the other patients are going to hate me. Like I give a shit. I hate them. I normally like my councilor. She is level headed, and has a good heart. Knock on wood. I asked her how long I won't be waiting in the waiting room, and she said it could be for as long as I go to the clinic. Wow, great.
This morning I stopped at the mall after my morning dose too see if they could get the email on my phone to work. They couldn't do it, it was because I had to pay for my yahoo mail, if I got gmail it was free. Which is why I got gmail. Except I can't change my email on blogger over to gmail as my main email for some reason, so to check my comments I have to go to my yahoo account. So I'm not deleting it. At the mall my good friend Meghan called, and wanted all the details about Saturday night. So I gave them to her. I told her every detail. About the cum on the tits. About the blow jobs, and how many times I came. How he only came three time to my seven. How I felt bad about that, and how I felt bad about him having to do all the work on his bad knee. I'm getting horny just talking about this right now.
Enough about that. I'm sure I've bored you to death. I've told you about the sex with Jess. I don't really have too much to write about. I'm fucking bored to death right now. I can tell you I sort of regret telling Jess that I wouldn't start a relationship with him. I like him so very much. Then I go over in my head the reasons I said no, and I know I made the right decision. Still my body wants me to say yes. Part of my mind does too. I'd like to get laid by Jess a lot more often. I'd like to see Jess a lot more often. I'm sure that can be arranged.
Gledwood is going to put up a hit counter up so you guys can see how many hits I get and which blog posts everyone is reading. Thank God for Gledwood. I know I have a lot of readers because of him. Plus he's always asking me for naked photos of myself. I didn't promise him anything. I have to go. My eyes keep closing on me. Sorry this was one of the worst blogs in the history of blogs.