Monday, July 12, 2010

Worst blog ever

So I've spent my entire day trying to get the email on my htc smart phone to work today. I finally had to switch from yahoo to gmail to be able to write an email from my contacts and then for my phone to alert me when I get an email. Before I was only able to use the email on the Internet browser on my phone. Its been a long strange trip. More of a long annoying day. Emailing Jess just to see if he received the email, because he's the only person I know with email on their phone. Otherwise I wouldn't have bothered him with it. I got it done so I won't be bothering him with it. From now on when I email him it will only be about sex. The sex we had or the sex were going to have.

I got into trouble at the Methadone clinic on Saturday. I've been talking too much about my using past to the other patients. I've been caught too many times by the councilors. So on Saturday Meghan was there, and we were outside talking. I was telling her about my big night ahead of me. She was telling me that I shouldn't have sex with him the first time I see him in six years. He would respect me more. I tried to explain to her that I wasn't exactly looking for respect. We got to chatting, but we were away from the windows. It wasn't until her baby's daddy came out and we started walking towards her car that my councilor came out and yelled at Meghan to go home. She pulled me by the arm in the clinic and into Pat's office. That's the office they all use on Saturday's. She sits me down, and asks if I know why I'm in there, and I guessed it right on the head. The first thing my councilor asks is if I think I'm cycling again. Then I panic, are my moods cycling again? I do feel good. Am I in a hyper manic state. Do I have to prepare myself for a major crash? I tell Jamie I don't think I'm cycling. I couldn't tell her about Jess. I'm not allowed to see anyone while I'm on the Methadone. My councilor's rule. Even though when my councilor(who is only a year and a half older than I) is sitting out in the waiting are with me she and I point out all the hot guys together. I have two guys that I think are super hot. So hot I'm too scared to talk in front of them. Anyway, back to her yelling at me and scaring me into thinking I'm cycling out of control again. So she tells me my punishment. From now on when I come to the clinic I don't bother to take a number or sit down, I just go straight up to the dosing window and get dosed. I thought to myself that isn't a punishment. That's like getting let off work early with pay for screwing up. I pretended that I was appalled. I was like oh shit, now all the other patients are going to hate me. Like I give a shit. I hate them. I normally like my councilor. She is level headed, and has a good heart. Knock on wood. I asked her how long I won't be waiting in the waiting room, and she said it could be for as long as I go to the clinic. Wow, great.

This morning I stopped at the mall after my morning dose too see if they could get the email on my phone to work. They couldn't do it, it was because I had to pay for my yahoo mail, if I got gmail it was free. Which is why I got gmail. Except I can't change my email on blogger over to gmail as my main email for some reason, so to check my comments I have to go to my yahoo account. So I'm not deleting it. At the mall my good friend Meghan called, and wanted all the details about Saturday night. So I gave them to her. I told her every detail. About the cum on the tits. About the blow jobs, and how many times I came. How he only came three time to my seven. How I felt bad about that, and how I felt bad about him having to do all the work on his bad knee. I'm getting horny just talking about this right now.

Enough about that. I'm sure I've bored you to death. I've told you about the sex with Jess. I don't really have too much to write about. I'm fucking bored to death right now. I can tell you I sort of regret telling Jess that I wouldn't start a relationship with him. I like him so very much. Then I go over in my head the reasons I said no, and I know I made the right decision. Still my body wants me to say yes. Part of my mind does too. I'd like to get laid by Jess a lot more often. I'd like to see Jess a lot more often. I'm sure that can be arranged.

Gledwood is going to put up a hit counter up so you guys can see how many hits I get and which blog posts everyone is reading. Thank God for Gledwood. I know I have a lot of readers because of him. Plus he's always asking me for naked photos of myself. I didn't promise him anything. I have to go. My eyes keep closing on me. Sorry this was one of the worst blogs in the history of blogs.


Gledwood said...

I don't think that's a boring post at all.
How on earth can your counsellor tell you you're not allowed to even SPEAK to other "clients" (are they officially called clients there like here, not "patients". They should call us patients bc we have to be fucking patient...
You don't sound manic lately, you sound more depressed.
I feel fucking depressed. Only in the sense that every time I stop, I feel doom and gloom. So I fill my time obsessively browsing blogs I don't know on the internet some days and blogs I do on others. For some reason some family I never seen in my life popped up on screen 6
The Lodge Family. Just appeared out of nowhere!!!
Hey I tell you what, I'll go out find 5 of the most fucking boring blogs ever. We can pretend to be 2 old ladies or something, and leave comment after comment back and forth to each other, about our grandchildren's sex lives and how the neighbours mow the lawn naked and how outraged we are. We save the comments by email so just drop down and click in, then check the blogs 2 days later and see what the fuck they thought was going on

Gledwood said...

We can't take the piss out of the Lodge Family their kids are too cute. I just left them a message saying hi

btw here's a bipolar blog I read

she never fucking replies to a single one of my comments. Ever. It might have to do with my mentioning drugs the 1st time I introduced myself. Well what else am I gonna do? LIE? O I'm too tired to think about other people's issues her blog's pretty good. But it's nowhere near as good as yours

AnnaGrace said...

We are offically called clients. I agree we should be called patients. We have to wait around a lot. I don't think I'm cycleing. I'm just normally a depressed person. I have no self-esteem. I also feel alot of doom and gloom. I'm so pessimistic its not even funny. I think Gled we have a shit load in common. If you didn't live over the pond we would make a great couple.

Your idea about commenting on the most boring blogs ever pretending to be old ladies would be great fun. I could say how I saw my neighbor masturbating while mowing the lawn. When he came he jerked to the left a little bit and I thought he was going to fall off the lawn mower.
Lots of love
Anna Grace

AnnaGrace said...


I'm going to go to read that blog about the bi polar. Thanks for telling me its not as good as mine. Did you mean it, or were you just being nice? Do you ever masturbate to my blog Gled?

I've masturbated to my mental image of you, or the one you've put in my head of you. I really wish you'd just post a pic of yourself. I promise even if you lied about how you look I'll masurbate to you. I masurbate to Jess all the time now. I pretend he's stalker and he's outside my door and can't wait to rape me. Is that a weird thing to fantisize about?

Gledwood said...

No I meant what I said definitely.

You are unique. I know everyone is unique in their way, but you definitely have the edge on most people.

Also like you said your writing really has improved and I do think you have genuine talent.

I have to nip out for alcohol and cigarettes, back later take care :-)