Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Everyone disapears in the end

Nothing today but shopping. Got my first manicure, and Pedicure. My mother insisted. I don't like people touching me, so its never been on my top 10 list of things to do. My mom was getting one, and she asked me if I would get one, and I said sure, what do I have to loose? A toe! My mom did some big shopping today. She got herself some nice things. She deserves those nice things. I bought some stuff with the money you guys give me too. Thanks by the way. It was real nice of you to give that money to me. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! I got a new lamp, a jewelry box, and vase, and a new frame for my print I bought online of one of Kardinsky's paintings.

My dad's at the bar. When we got home from my doctors appointment at the methadone clinic, which was at noon, my dad was just leaving for the bar. He walks across the bridge and down a block to his bar. Where he usually goes until 9 or 10. Sometimes he gets home early. Its annoying when he does. He's a drunken fool. At least when I come home drunk I go straight to my room and don't bother anyone in my family. If I'm ever home before they've gone to bed, which I only remember one time happening. A long time ago. Like just out of high school getting into bars underage time.

My detox from Methadone is going smoothly so far. I'm still even nodding out. I have the appointment for the start of my Suboxone made. Nov. 16th at 1:15pm. Three days without Methadone before I start the suboxone to extra safe that I don't go into instant withdrawals again. I'm terrified that instant withdrawals will set in again, so I'm doing everything double safe this time. I'm going down to 15mgs. then withdrawing for three days before.

The reason I don't disable all those anonymous commenter's is mainly because I know that everyone has an opinion. If I disabled those commenter's and only let the good people comment it just wouldn't be fair. It like only listening to one side of an opinion. I know some people hate my stupid guts. They still read the shit. Why I don't know. They will give some sad reason. Try to make me feel shitty about why they read my blog. Still I like to hear from them. With the bad come the good. I hadn't herd from the haters in while. I really set them off, and now I've accidentally deleted the two blogs about the false pregnancy in drafts. I probably got a lot of hits on those posts. Now they are out there in cyber space. They say that nothing disappears in cyberspace.

I have to go find out what time sunrise is tomorrow. Spell check.


Anonymous said...

I was just wondering if you think that your drinking is going to lead you back to using? I know it would for me...drinking does not produce the same feeling, and I want to be high, damn it. I know I have to abstain from EVERYTHING not just my drug of choice. Just be careful, I am sure the drunk you makes fantastic decisions just like the drunk me.

Doped Girl

Sarcastic Bastard said...

The portion of your post explaining why you don't delete negative assaholic comments just shows that you are 100 times more mature than the assholes who comment negatively.

Still, I love you and I don't like them typing the mean shit. I say fuck them.


Boston Joe said...

hey.. actaully you are better off on sub if you ask me.. done fucking sux and you have to go every fucking day to be dosed whereas you can just pop your sub pill in the morn.. I have also heard that you need to go like 3 days from done to sub because of the done 1/2 life being soo long. I hate to say it, but you are better off going from dope to sub then done to sub..not that I am saying you should get on dope but just make sure you go the entire 3 days or you will go into instant withdrawals again.. good luck!!

Tatyanna (and Dorian too) said...

I was thinking like dopedgirl, but I was wondering more about the Tramadol ...that shit is pretty weak, but for me, it kinda feels like a bit of an opiate; I know that it's supposed to be a drug that mildly copies what opiates do. Maybe because of your methadone and how high your tolerance is, you don't notice. I'll just be a copycat and say be careful :)