Sunday, November 28, 2010

Details of my date with Sean

Wednesday morning I get home from Oshkosh around 11am. I'm not feeling very good, I had a few drinks the other night with Jess, and I slept in Jess' bed where I didn't get a great nights sleep. So I'm not caught up on my sleep. Jess really wanted to cum on my face so I let him after giving him a blow job, so I had a little cum on my cheek. I take off the outfit that I'm wearing, and put on sweatpants. I still have not herd anything from Sean that has confirmed that we have a date tonight. I think perhaps he has decided he doesn't like me. I would feel slighted, but at least I could catch up on my sleep.
After I get some comfy clothes on, I wash my face, and lay down on the couch and watch TCM old movies. I drift in and out of sleep. Every time I get an email, I wake up and look at it checking to see if its Sean. I'm not sure if I want to go out with this guy. As we all know I like Jess, but Jess doesn't like me. Sean seems to like me. Eventually, around three I get a text from Sean asking if we are still meeting tonight. I make the decision that I will meet him. He knows that I have a guy that I'm still having sex with, but its just sex. So I tell him to meet me at a local coffee shop at 7pm. He has to drive up from Menasha.
I like what I wore last night, so I through that in the wash, and I jump in the shower. When I'm done I get out, and blow dry my hair straight, and then have my mom straighten it. I dry my clothes. Put on Makeup. I go outside for a cigarette, and its cold and dark out. Under the street lamp I can see its snowing out. Its the first snowfall of the season. I text Sean and tell him its snowing, and tell him if he doesn't want to drive in the snow he doesn't have to come if he doesn't want to. He text back, that he doesn't mind driving in the snow. I'm still really tired, and was sort of hoping that he would have backed out.
I don't have a car to get to the coffee shop, but the coffee shop is just a few blocks away, but since its snowing out, I call a cab. I leave early so I can be there first. I bring my first draft of my book, because he really wanted to read it. He is a stand up comic, and writes himself. He writes more fiction than I do. Don't get me wrong my books are somewhat fiction. Loosely based fiction.
I'm somewhat nervous to meet Sean, even though I talked on the phone with him for an hour a few days ago, and we texted a number of times. I get to see what he looks like. He gets to see what I look like.
I get to the coffee shop, and order a coffee. I drink a decaf, because I want to be able to sleep tonight, and I get a water, because I'm sort of nauseous from drinking the night before. I have to think of a good story to tell him about what happened to me the night before. So I make up some lie. Why I did this I do not know. Conversation starter? The lie I make up is has some truth to it. On Monday there was a stabbing at a bar a block from where I live, and I happened to at a bar one door down, so I lied and said I was at the bar where the stabbing happened. So I have my conversation starter set up.
He text me and tells me he's gonna be about forty five minutes late. The roads are bad, and he had to cash his check at Wal Mart because he woke up so late today.
So I'm really early for the date. I start to read the first draft of my book. All of which I have memorized by now. There is a really hot guy who works at the coffee shop, so I watch him and I watch the other customers, who think I'm a lame chick who gets dressed up to go to a coffee shop and sit by herself without her laptop. I entertain myself for the time being. He text me and updates me on his progress on getting to the coffee shop.
He text me, "I'm here", and I see his car pull up. I see him get out. His jacket is too big. I can't see his face. He walks into the coffee shop, and sees me right away. I had picked out a table right in the front so he would notice me right away. He's seen my picture on the website, and the pictures look just like me. At least I think. I can tell he's nervous. I smile at him and let him know there is nothing to be nervous about. I'm not going to cast him off, or be cruel. My first impression is he is cute, although I can tell that he's 35 more than I can tell that Jess is 35. I can tell Sean trys harder to be cool than Jess does. The harder you try to be cool, the less cool you are. Once you've given up on being cool, and have become a loser you've become cool in my book. Still he's sweet. We keep up a good conversation. He tells me about his comedy. He might be getting a new job.
Then he shows me these four photos of his mom, dad, and himself as a baby. They are cute photos, from like photo booth in black and white. He says he's thinking about getting them laminated, and I tell him I have a laminating machine at my house and I could do that for him. By this time we have been at the coffee shop for almost an hour and half. They are closing up. We go outside and walk down the block and smoke. We walk back on the other side of the road, so we can get into Sean's car. He's going to give me a ride home, and I'm going to laminate those photos for him.
I get into his car, and its full of empty Redbulls, soda cans, some bumper stickers on the inside, along with a Buddha, and some other dashboard toy. He drives across the bridge to my parents apartment where I live. My mom is asleep, my dad is at the bar. So I bring him up the elevator, and into the apartment. Our dining room table is set for Thanksgiving dinner and everything is all formal. I explain to him that its not always like this. Its only like this because people are coming over tomorrow. I show him my room. I get out the laminating paper, and I get out the laminater. I accidentally turn the laminater on cold, and I put his pictures in there and they get stuck. I can't figure out how to get them out. I'm worried that I ruined them. His treasured family photos. He tells me not to worry about it. He is sure I'll get them out. I tell him my dad can get them out. Which I figure my dad can.
We decide to go out on the porch for a cigarette. It just so happens that our neighbors have their shades wide open, lights on bright, they are directly across from us. Me and my dad are no stranger to seeing her naked in the morning and at night, but this night she is with her boyfriend, and its his sexual organ(penis) that is naked, and it is her head bobbing up and down. I imagine he wants to cum in her face too. I watch with enthusiasm, and so does Sean. He is surprised at how excited I am to be seeing this live adult show in front our eyes. Who wouldn't be I ask? He says, "a lot of girls. You'd be surprised." Every girl I know would want to watch this. I think of my friends, and hell yes, they would watch this. He must be swimming around in the wrong pool.  We smoke our cigarettes, and he does the voice of the guy, and what he thinks the guy is saying. I do the voice of the girl and what I think the girl is saying. Then the blow job is done, and it looks like they are getting ready to come outside to walk their dog or something. Their dog was pacing back and forth the whole time she was going down on him. Looked like a little bestiality. We watch as they try on different jackets, go to the bathroom, and bedroom. Finally they come out and get in their car and drive off. As they drive off  Sean and I throw our cigarettes out, and walk back inside, nothing more to see. By this time I'm really tired. Its about 11pm. I offer him to sit and watch TV with me. He thinks about it, and says no, uses the excuse that I look tired. I walk him to front hall, and its time to say good night, which is always awkward, so I say something about how awkward it is, and we just hug.
I go back up stairs and end up getting his pictures out easily with a butter knife, but brake the laminater. I think the reason I was so unwilling to be close to Sean is because I was just with Jess, and I can't do that. Physically or emotionally. I maybe a slut, but not that kind of slut.


the guy in the silk taffeta dress said...

Over the weekend I read every single post in your blog.
I'm on the fascinated side.
Getting to the point is You are such a KIND girl and BEAUTIFUL girl.When I read this most recent post, I'm left scratching my head, miffed by what appears to be very low self esteem on your part.
The extent of it is so perplexing.
You must begin realizing your worth, your value. these guys and your "ideal relationship"
Pardon the puns, but your not getting the "meaty end of the bone" with Jess.

Which one do you feel happier with?
Who treats you better ?
Which one do you dream of at night?

I'm sure no expert on relationships but you are special and deserve a guy that really can make you happy :)
Sorry for taking up so much of your comment space. I want the best for you,cause you're the best,

Gledwood said...

Yes you are kind. Most people wouldn't give a flying fuck about using in front of their parents if that/s what they wanted to do. You say you can't handle seeing their pain. That means you love them more than heroin and that means a lot

Anna Grace said...

From now on I deem you gibstd. You read all those lousy post. I can't even bring myself to go back and read that junk. I'm sooooo self involved.

Yes, I do have low self esteem, so does my mother. Like mother like daughter. She couldn't teach me something she didn't have or know.

As for the guys, I'm pretty positive neither will be around in a year. I do like Jess best, that is not reciprocated. So I just take my pills and live

Anna Grace said...

There was a time I didn't give a flying fuck if I used and it hurt my parents. Its just recently that they have begged me not to do that to them again, that if I do I would feel soooooooooooOooooooooooooooooooOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much guilt the high ALMOST wouldn't be worth it. ALMOST!!!!!!!!!!

Gledwood said...

Anna could you please give me the link you were talking about? I looked all over and cannot find it. If not a link then a date and time. I want to get back to that person. Many thanks, and many thanks for caring enough to tell me.

Anonymous said...

your not a slut.maybe a nympho.
a slut would be sleep with more then 1 didn't do that.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

I'm glad you didn't sleep with Sean. Think you'll see him again? Did you like him?