I'm alive. As I hope Melody Lee is also. Whom ever left that comment that she OD'ed may not even know and could be just getting us all in an uproar. It could even be Melody Lee herself playing a joke on all of us. At least these things I hope. Melody Lee is great writer, with an honest blog. She is herself and proud to be herself. She takes no shit and will kick you in the teeth if you give her shit. Sarah and Regina would know for sure if she is dead or alive. If either of you two are reading my blog and read this post please do comment and tell me what is going on with Melody Lee.
As for me, no I have not relapsed. I just haven't been inspired to write. I've been sick as hell, I must be at such a low dose that my body isn't even holding it for a full 8 hours. I'm suffering. I'm in junky hell. I have until November 16, and this will all be over. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't read, I can't write, (the only reason I'm writing right now is because I took one of my dad's Percocets) all I do is shit.
Yesterday I took some of my dad's pills, and Jess had called, and I went to Oshkosh, and we had a sex fest. It was nice, and now that I've totally given up on a relationship with him, and don't even really like him any more. I just like his cock, and his sex, it makes the sex much more fun, and it was fun before. Talking to him was much easier. Now that his brother and his brother's girlfriend are not living with him I was forced to socialize with only him. I didn't feel the need to impress him and I spoke freely and spoke my mind. Even teased him. This defiantly won't be a every week thing, maybe a every once a month or two, if that. We are just friends with benefits. I want to try and help him get a real girlfriend. I didn't sleep over at his house either, first off I would have gotten sick, second off it just wouldn't be right for a booty call.
No more obsession with Jess. I guess that his girlfriend after me didn't work out. When I found out that he was seeing someone else I got over him immediately. Now I'll never feel for him the same way again. Which is probably a good thing.
There is nothing new in my life. I am watching old movies on TCM like they are going out of style, and I have a crush on Humphrey Bogart, I never thought of myself as a star fucker, but Bogart and Zack G. from the Hangover and Due Date, I would totally due, even if it meant anal, and I hate anal. Of course Michael Pitt is another star I'd fuck, but not anal.