Thursday, December 2, 2010

Dr. appointment

I really don't have anything to write about. I went to my Physc Doctor today, and he is loosing his licence to write narcotic prescriptions, so I asked him to write me out a presciption of Dilauded. He's losing his licence already, what harm is it going to do. He asked me why I need Dilauded, I told him I just wanted it. He said, if I would of at least came in and pretended to have a back ache he would have done it, but since I came and told him I was going to abuse them he wouldn't do it for me. I shouldn't be so blunt. Its probably best I didn't get the script, and get all strung out again. My parents would have been fucking pissed off. They would have been so angry because I got the prescription from a doctor, and its not illegal, the fact that I'm shooting just means that I'm using in a different way than he told me to. A more direct way.
He upped my Ritalin script, and put me on Lunesta. This doctor has a good writing hand. No wonder they took his narcotic privileges away. Which means I drive and pay for my Suboxone. I might I stress might, not have to pay for the suboxone. That shit is expensive. Its very expensive. As expensive or more expensive than the Methadone. I can't go back on the Methadone. I was kicked off, but the doctor did say I could go to the clinic in Appleton, a half hour drive from here. Door county is a 50 minute drive from here. That would be once a month, Methadone would be every day, and I wouldn't loose weight.
I'm getting a zit on my chin. Just fucking great. I had to put on makeup today to go to the doctor's appointment. My mom is cooking some kind of sweet dessert. I told her not to make any desserts, as I'm trying to loose as much weight as humanly possible. I miss being junky thin. I have been stock piling my dads percocets, so I can go off the suboxone for four to six days and have no tolerance, and get high off them. No nodding high, but that soft glow of numbness that you get when you take a low level narcotic. Ask a doctor if a Percocet is low level narcotic, and he'll say no, but ask a junky and he'll say yes it is. Its been a while since I've used Oxycontin, but I've been told that Oxycontin's are no longer the drug to take. Some other drug has taken over the scene. Dilauded has been on the scene since the 50's, and is still on the scene. Ask any junky who knows anything about pills, and he will tell Dilauded is hospital heroin which is still popular today. Doctors don't prescribe Dilauded that easily, but lately its coming back. Doctors are prescribing it again, because it works, and its cheap.
I'm still replacing my Methadone and Clonazepam high with my pep pills. Which as a bi polar my doctor shouldn't give me, but I asked him write it out for me so I could loose weight, and he did.
I really like Bright Eyes right now. Not as much as Nirvana, or Elliott Smith, but I've been listening to him/them a lot. I've got a feeling he's got a habit. He sings about a habit, in Lua. He doesn't talk directly directly about it, and I'm not even sure its junk, it could be coke. Coke isn't really addictive like Heroin, its habit forming, but you don't get sick when you get off it. You crave it, but your body doesn't need it. Not that coke addiction is any better than Heroin. I am a drug snob, even though I use any drug you put in front of me. I prefer opiates to all other drugs. Right now I'm substituting my opiate high for an amphetamine high. Still I consider myself a drug snob. I only like to hang out with opiate junkies. It takes one to know one. I think you got it bad. What was normal in the evening by the morning seem insane.
Did you ever notice you have a idea at night that seems like the best idea in the world, and in the morning the idea seems stupid,  Like I often want to kill myself at night, and in the morning I won't anymore. So I'm lucky I didn't do it that night, because I would have regretted it in the morning. 
I want to look skinny like a model with my eyes all painted black.

24 comments:

the guy in the silk taffeta dress said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
the guy in the silk taffeta dress said...

Hey Anna,
For a girl who doesn't have anything to write about you sure have lots to say.LOL
As far as getting skinny, my advice is do it slowly.
I always liked black eye liner on girls.
Take good care of yourself. There's only 1 Anna and we all love you.
(I deleted my other comment cause I feel tired and I goofed it up.Made no sense)
Take care,
j.

Gledwood said...

Hi Anna, why you got a picture of me right up top?

Did you know that hypocrite bitch he married used to take his credit cards when he was in treatment, control frek that she was...

... I do like Courtney Love, just not every aspect about her ...'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' and it's so late I'm knackered I'sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss




;-)

Shit, am I going crazy? Probably. I just left a comment, asking why you put up a photo of me, aka Curt, and I was moaning about Courtney

where's that comment gone? I think that horrible goblin's come back and ate it...

did you know Taffeta Guy has a dog JUST like Eleanor Rigby, how cool is that!

Akh I've got to go it's so late, and the gear's all full of massive sedatives and I'm all over the place. See ya tomorrow... when I'm having a serious shot at switching 100% to methadone again. Have had it with drugs, drink, heroin.... Ukh. Me saying no heroin is like the Pope turning Buddhist, I know, but t,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ;-)

o i am crazy, i left the same comment twice. i left it in to give you some entertainment

Gledwood said...

Anna you are so funny, the way you put things, you just make me laugh. I am not laughing at you the way someone would who had no respect for someone, I just think you are wonderful.

I was totally out of my tree last night. I kept hearing this old cockney woman talking about fruit and vegetables, the wall was swirling with coloured lights. Tripping!!! And I haven't taken acid in well over 10 years. No crack either. I lost some crack last night. + some heroin. + I don't care I felt like death this afternoon (unsconscious all morning) I have had it with drugs. Had it had it. I never want to get into a state of chaos and misery like I have been ever again all I really wanted to do was die I feel that bad all the time and no cure, no meds nothing for it except fucking methadone. I would be terrified of taking antidepressants after the high and low last time was unreal it was like losing my mind. I have had crack psychosis and maybe depressive psychosis but I'm not meant to be bipolar and these pills make me hyper and then I feel shit and I'm terrified of lithium o Anna what the fuck am I going to do?

Anna Grace said...

Gitbstd,
I know I said a lot for having nothing to say. Sometimes I just go on as if this were my personal journal and nobody was going to read it. So I don't care how boring the post is, I just want to blog so I can get some comments. So thanks to you and gleds and anyone else who comments.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Anna,
I have noticed that. It's always best to sleep on a big decision for that reason. The next morning things may look WAY different.

Have a great weekend.

You are loved.

SB

Gledwood said...

Yeah what she says about sleeping on a decision, definitely. Probably the only positive thing I learned from drugs was NOT to be swayed to do anything stupid, no matter how bad I felt. And that was only because I had bad trips on acid. Ukkh. Why did I even go there? I have had good ones as well but me and LSD... NO! Even more of a trainwreck than me and heroin and that really is saying something.

You seem so unsatisfied with your life, I wish I could think up something that wouldn't sound ridiculously patronizing.

O BTW please help me out here and come to the Anonymous comment congratulating me on being pregnant. I replied saying I am actually an Australian housewife with interests in drug trafficking and that my husband will insist on riding naked on that lawnmower.

Just say anything you like no matter how obscene/silly/whatever you want to be but please help if you're online tonight/what time is it there? 8pm here... 2pm? 1pm? Are you Central time? Example: what sexual position I was in to get pregnant... o I dunno. You write so well about sex. Give me advice on my pregnancy, please!!

You could also mention you spotted Bruce (my husband) on the ride round mower again, despite the ban.

We've got to do that 2 old ladies blog. That would be so hilarious

Valerie said...

Anna I am pregnant here alone in Melbourne, Australia and desperately need your advice!

What are you doing that could possibly be more important than responding to me?

OK I can think of about 20 things right off the top of my head but we won't go there. That rat of a husband of mine is having an affair with the lady at what we call the milk bar. That is a corner shop (I used to be British).

I see that look in her eye when she hands him a pint of semi-skimmed!

Oh please give some advice. My life is a mess. Plus I lost half a kilo of china white last week. I mistook it for my cider as it was stashed in the cider can.

Oh please help.

PS do you know anyone with experience in a #4 heroin refinery? We make top-notch white heroin only. No brown crap. Our head chemist has just walked (or rather hobbled) off in a huff about getting his left leg blown off by a landmine on the Burma/Laos border!

What are we going to do?

How will I, a pregnant lady with a huge house in St Kilda and a lousy husband who rides the lawnmower naked, control 95% of the Australian heroin trade on my own?

I mean Brucie does that for me, but I don't want to have to shoot him in the inevitable turf war if/when we divorce over the milk bar bitch. I am highly possessive when pregnant.

Also I want rights to my Double UO Globe brand name. I came up with the bloody ridiculous thing, which was originally a spelling mistake when I took a typing course in my old brothel in Pnom Phen, though that bastard Khun Sa plus certain others pirated it all the time.

Originally it was meant to say "Double Global Globule" but those idiot Burmese, who insist on speaking a language that sounds like a cat being strangled, spelled it wrong on the packaging. Hence the famous name.

Khun Sa was really good fun at our annual new years eve ecstasy party I have to say. Gave that lawnmower a real good ride. General Noriega and the Colombian cartel head honchos were good fun too. And they made the BEST nachos.

Usually I don't care about my cheating bastard of a husband. I mean, I met him in a brothel and he was my customer for seven years before we got married and I know for a fact he was frequenting the whorehouse next door, so I never expected fidelity.

PS I hope interpol aren't reading this, I am a wanted woman in 46 countries!

Anna Grace said...

Val,
Can I call you that? Well Val, have you tried to seduce the bar maid. I happen to know women who fuck men who ride lawn mowers naked love to fuck pregnant woman. Of course if you fall in love you'll have to teach her about the Heroin trade.

You say you lost a kilo of grade A china white in your cider. WTF were you thinking you stupid pregnant bitch. That should be in yours and your unborn child's veins. Waste not want not.

I do happen to know a great chemist experienced in #4 heroin refinery, he's Chinamen named Kim Yin. Both legs included.

As far as I'm concerned you should shoot your husband now before the divorce, before turf war starts. That way its done and over with. No turf war. Baby born hooked, but into peace. Pay off the bobbys no babies in prison.
Sorry I called you a bitch just makes me mad when someone waste Heroin.

Hope I helped!
Anna

Gledwood said...

Oh Anna come back! Valerie and I both need you!!

You're not having sneaky sex in some fetid American bedroom are you?

(Not that I'm suggesting you'd cross the border into Canada just for a "booty call", I was just trying to be descriptive.)

Oh dear I was hoping fetid didn't mean something offensive. It describess mine and Valerie's bedrooms. Not Mr Booty Call's. And Certainly not yuors.

You know where you live looks just like parts of South London. I know you could say it looks like anywhere but my idea of what America actually looks like is quite hazy. Based on too many road movies, Aaron Spelling crap set in LA and a romanticized idea of New York...

If I wasn't broke and coming OFF drugs I'd suggest meeting up in NYC. Knowing my luck interpol will think I'm actually Valerie the drugs producer and smuggler (she's very proud of her production facilities) and send me to an American women's prison.

Hey it would be a lot more fun than a men's one hahaha!

Gotta run. Comment. Quickly. Please. Us pregnant women have short attention spans and no patience!!

See ya ;-) It's now midnight 13 so I'm off to bed in a sec. Alone. And methadoned out of my brains

Well as out of my brains as methadone ever takes me. Ie just my baseline level of madness. Gotta run, Valerie says the lawnmower needs a sump change, whatever that might be (something to do with oil, methinks...)

Valerie said...

Oh thank you so much for that comment. Now Gledwood and I can have illicit heroin sex in my fetid boudoir. (Bruce is watching Who Wants To Be a Millionaire. On video. Sad twatt.)

Valerie said...

PS email in your resume to me at Double UO Globular and I'll get back to you straight away.

PS we're willing to pay in Dilaudid

Anna Grace said...

Gleds,
Fetid, I'm not sure what it means. I live in Central time zone.
Val is suffering from pathetic husband syndrom. Lucky she's got gled.
What does your bedroom look like. Post pictures now methadone head.

Anna Grace said...

Gled when is your birthday?

Val said...

ps I'm mullilng your advice over about what to do with the cheating bastard who got me into this condition.

I know it was terrible, re the accident. China white tastes horrible with apply bubbles.

But it WAS only a half key. We usually import 20,000 kg a year but I don't want to go into too many details in case the Melbourne Police dept are reading. PS we live at 53 Harworth Street, St Kilda, Victoria you can tell which is our house. We have the best-mown lawn in town!!

Val said...

That was meant to say apple-y bubbles.


gledwood was born in early 1972!

Anna Grace said...

No month and number for birthday

Gledwood said...

Hang on I missed half of that. What you wanna know what the bedroom looks like? Well 1st I prefer sleeping on the floor, in about 10 quilts and 25 pillows and there's all rubbish on the bed that's supposed to be being sorted out and chucked out, but something called HEROIN stopped me, which is why I am stopping IT because I am truly fed up of living in chaos and it's only getting worse. Normally, if I had any say in the matter (ie my sanity) the bed would kind of be done up Arabian Nights style with laods and loads and loads of covers and pillows. Basically imagine half of a bedding shop on one giant bed in different patterns. My old main bed stuff was this magnolia yellow. Now it's dark green. Looks far funkier. Of course some of it is pale blue. I love blue things. Like your blue hair.

I gotta go to sleep honey I'm knackered

fetid means smelly apparently. But I thought it meant feverish and hot. Or kind of like in highh summer when a room gets very hot and the air is stale. I didn't think it meant reekingly horrible like the online dictionary said. I had better be more careful with my words in future. I blame sleep deprivation. I never seem to get enough sleep. I got up after 4pm today. Ignoring the phone. I don'teven kinow who called me. One was a text from a drug dealer but they can fuck off

anyway night night it's midnight 49!

Gledwood said...

ps i never picked magnolia yellow bedding i must quickly point out i ended up with it bc my mum had it spare & this blue sleeping bag thing made it not look quite as crap. + gave some homeless chic to the whole ensemble

Val said...

Hi Babes Melbourne here. I have a 700kg delivery of that lovely Burmese white sugar coming through Sunday evening. Should come in at Sydney Harbour on a North Korean registered ship at around 1800 hrs. So I'll be getting me spoon out in readiness for a fresh new batch. The shit we're on at the moment is, quite frankly, stale. I know what orifices it has been in, whose they were and for how long. And yet still I'm banging away at it like crazy. As for the baby, guess what that was? Gall bladder problems!
Now I MUST HAVE A MOAN about the police. Have they nothing better to do than harrass innocent housewives like me? There I was driving down the lane, taking my 8 and 12 year old (don't know whose the 12 year old is, but he ain't bruce's that's for sure. Bruce has strawberry blond hair and blue eyes. This kid looks African! I said oh it must be a genetic throwback as I'm partially Australian aboriginal, and he bought it! Plus a 17 carat blue diamond sparkler for me neck. We were doing real well on the China white back then. Importing tonnes of the stuff. Those kids out there in Sydney and Melbourne go crazy for the stuff. I'm not that into it meself. Only do an eighth a day me. Which isn't much when you know there's still 44kg we haven't bothered to fish out of the fuel tank on the rusty old tractor back at our farm (near Perth, Western Aus, lovely place to bring up the kids. Only Bastard Bruce, always after a Brucey Bonus (got that one from shit british tv we get imported in on cable. Sell shit, you buy shit. Law of the jungle, darling.
Now Anna my dear I know you are well connected, tell me where can I get one thousand metric tonnes of acetic anhydride? I nead it real quick.
Those peasants will be scraping away at those weeds in not too long! Would you spend all day in the long hot sun just so some bastard in Western Aus or wherever could get high? I wouldn't. Keep it for meself, I would. Apart from that 44kgs which had fucking better be where they're supposed to be, or there truly will be trouble I proomise you that. Apart from that we've barely 80g left and that has to last me and Bruce possibly into next week if those North Koreans get lazy. Ukk. How bad can life get.
Anyway I was having a rant at the police dear wasn't I?
Yeah, just driving merrily along. Delivering the little sweeties to school. Having a nice pipe on crack behind the wheel, as you do, when some bastard pulled me over. At first I thought he thought it was a mobile phone! Gave me a real talking to about "drinking at the wheel" I never said "darling that was crack cocaine you just saw" me head was really whooshing there was a good $20 worth of Bolivia's best on that pipe. Surprised I ccan drive at all the amount I smoke.

Val said...

I'm not a crackhead though. Don't they work in whorehouses and stuff. O yeah I used to. O ho hum. Shit happens. Well assuming this shipment comes in OK and you can sort out this Mr Kim/whatever the fuck he's called. Long as he's Chinese and can turn a China White he's for me. Tell 'im to bring 7 tonnes hydrochloric acid, 7 tonnes ethyl alcohol 7 tonnes ether. We have a big batch to stir up in those there hills!
By the way we have 12 brands going at present. As well as the Double Uo Globular, there is Panda, 999, 5 Star, Magic Monkey, and rabbit brand. Did the design on that one meself. Two rabbits howling at the moon with some shit in Chinese going down the side. Got it from a Chinese takeaway menu. Aparently it means number 26 with fried rice.
Anyway rabbit brand means it's real crap. Double Lion's (aka UOGlobe's the best). Am I giving you an education in China white here? I wanted to launch a new one called Herpes Brand "keeps coming back" but Bruce doesn't approve. Possibly because we both have it.
Honestly you would not believe the amount of emailing we have to do just to secure ten tonnes of illegal narcotics from Burma to here!
I hope the police aren't reading this. Surely they have better things to do. Knocked at the door the other day to inform me I'd left an upstairs window open and did I know, what with the spate of recent thefts and all (bastard junkies, doncha hate 'em!) Long as the fucking heroin's where it should be everything's OK. Anyway must dash. More crack to pipe before another fucking school run. Oh no because it's Saturday. Thank God for a day off!!
Anyway you get your Mr Kim here pronto and I'll get ya a big pot of neat dilaudid, how does that sound. I also manufacture that and that oxy shit those Americans are into. Oh sorry you're American. Scuse me French. I'm Australian, that's all. Well I must dash. Police at the door AGAIN. What do they want this time?!!

Gledwood said...

O shit, someone sent me a link, turns out Valerie's REAL

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/08/12/2980575.htm

Gledwood said...

Anna where are you? Are you about? If you're not about I hope you're at least doing something nice. No I don't necessarily mean drugs/sex I know those are the 2 things you will think of if I say tha

anna do you ever stay up for days on end without sleeping? I just cannot sleep my mind is tripping out and i don't understand why

rang nuthouse already. am going to own dr monday much better

ukk. i probably know someone whose got sleeping pills, but just cannot be into going down and getting them

Anonymous said...

what the hell is wrong with valerie?