Thursday, December 9, 2010

I put up a paypal donation button

If you would like to donate to my studies, help me to learn to really write I put up a donate button. You can donate a quarter, a dollar, whatever you can afford. If everyone who read this blog donated a quarter every time they read the blog I would have enough money to pay for  a lot of college, if they donated a dollar, I could pay for all of collage.

I'm a writer, I don't make anything. In fact I paid nearly a thousand dollars to get my first novel published. It took a lot of saving up SSI checks to pay for that. I don't expect you to donate, if you like what you read, and want to help a writer hone her skills then perhaps a donation is okay. I don't know.

I feel guilty doing this. Guilty and greedy. Its up there now, and I have no idea how to take it down. So any and all donations are welcome. All complaints about the donation button will be heard and taken up with the blogger...me. Feel free to voice your opinion.

25 comments:

the guy in the silk taffeta dress said...

Don't feel guilty.
I have used Paypal just once and the balance and billing got all screwed up.
I'd send you a check though. If you're still thinking I'm a stalker or maniac, you could give me the address of a friend.
So tired here, made some stew after work.
Sweet dreams, Anna,
j.

Valerie said...

Darling Baby-Chook Sugar-Sweets!
Here's you asking for donations... why? As an international master criminal fellow drug trafficker I assumed you'd be loaded.
So (supposedly) am I.
But financial strife hits us all.
Especially when a 17ct blue diamond turns out to be GLASS, you're in prison and it's all gone tits up.
(Need some bribe money, me.)
Now Anna Dear I hope this isn't being too cheeky, and doesn't come as too much of a surprise, plus I'm not real sure you have the cash, but I'll ask anyhow. Ya couldn't see it in your heart to lend us $25million US could ya?
I'll pay you back real quick, I promise. It's just, the amount of evidence they seem to have against me seems to be enormous. Those bloody crooked customs officers, interpol and all the loathesome international antidrugproductionandtrafficking agencies!
I'm in the bloody punishment hole here! All I did was go for the governor straight in the eyes with a nifty V! Won't go into detail, bt it has something to do with my using her office as my "personal fiefdom" (her pretentious words).
Now the governor says it's off the drugs for me, so I'm suffering me poor little heart out on what the docco seems to think is an elephant-sized dose of methadone. It's only in 3 figures mgs, so it's barely touching the sides on this old chook, trust me. Doesn't seem to be a hope in hell of turning 3-figures mgs into 4. Ho-hum.
Before I forget, doncha know anyone else bar your Mr Kim re heroin refining skills? The doddery old fool got "apprehended" by interpol and customs trundling three 7 tonne tanks of hydrochloric acid, ether and ethyl alcohol behind him like a freight train through Sydney airport! They seem to think these ingredients are a real good way of turning Afghan-style brown heroin base into proper stir-it-up-cold China White!
Also you should have warned me he was 83. How on earth he's supposed to make it from the Lao border to our heroin refinery through 7 miles of thick minefields in those reading glasses is anyone's guess.
Well I can't help him. Brucey seems to have spent more time, money, effort, expense and blah blah blah getting that bastard out than he ever would do or has done for me! Something to do with no decent gear hitting Australia's streets for 18 months if we don't. Ho-hum.
Well Sugar Darling, I'd better cut it short. Please if you possibly can do, see it in that gorgeous sweet little heart of yours to spring me from jail. If that $25 million US can't be arranged, we're thinking of doing a helecopters and ladders in the yard job! Couldn't help with that one as well/instead of, could ya!!?!
Chin up, baby!! Keep with the book. And remember you might as well send me one for Xmas. Knowing my luck I'll still probably be here.
Lotsa love
Val
xXxXxXxXx

Valerie said...

Darling Baby-Chook Sugar-Sweets!
Here's you asking for donations... why? As an international master criminal fellow drug trafficker I assumed you'd be loaded.
So (supposedly) am I.
But financial strife hits us all.
Especially when a 17ct blue diamond turns out to be GLASS, you're in prison and it's all gone tits up.
(Need some bribe money, me.)
Now Anna Dear I hope this isn't being too cheeky, and doesn't come as too much of a surprise, plus I'm not real sure you have the cash, but I'll ask anyhow. Ya couldn't see it in your heart to lend us $25million US could ya?
I'll pay you back real quick, I promise. It's just, the amount of evidence they seem to have against me seems to be enormous. Those bloody crooked customs officers, interpol and all the loathesome international antidrugproductionandtrafficking agencies!
I'm in the bloody punishment hole here! All I did was go for the governor straight in the eyes with a nifty V! Won't go into detail, bt it has something to do with my using her office as my "personal fiefdom" (her pretentious words).
Now the governor says it's off the drugs for me, so I'm suffering me poor little heart out on what the docco seems to think is an elephant-sized dose of methadone. It's only in 3 figures mgs, so it's barely touching the sides on this old chook, trust me. Doesn't seem to be a hope in hell of turning 3-figures mgs into 4. Ho-hum.
Before I forget, doncha know anyone else bar your Mr Kim re heroin refining skills? The doddery old fool got "apprehended" by interpol and customs trundling three 7 tonne tanks of hydrochloric acid, ether and ethyl alcohol behind him like a freight train through Sydney airport! They seem to think these ingredients are a real good way of turning Afghan-style brown heroin base into proper stir-it-up-cold China White!
Also you should have warned me he was 83. How on earth he's supposed to make it from the Lao border to our heroin refinery through 7 miles of thick minefields in those reading glasses is anyone's guess.
Well I can't help him. Brucey seems to have spent more time, money, effort, expense and blah blah blah getting that bastard out than he ever would do or has done for me! Something to do with no decent gear hitting Australia's streets for 18 months if we don't. Ho-hum.
Well Sugar Darling, I'd better cut it short. Please if you possibly can do, see it in that gorgeous sweet little heart of yours to spring me from jail. If that $25 million US can't be arranged, we're thinking of doing a helecopters and ladders in the yard job! Couldn't help with that one as well/instead of, could ya!!?!
Chin up, baby!! Keep with the book. And remember you might as well send me one for Xmas. Knowing my luck I'll still probably be here.
Lotsa love
Val
xXxXxXxXx

Valerie said...

Bloody comments appearing twice.
Bloody comments appearing twice!
How many times do they wanna read 'em?
How many times do they wanna read 'em?
O this is doing my head in.
This is doing my head in.
I'm off! (I'm off!!)

Valerie said...

Oh bloody hell Anna Grace, pull at my heart strongs why doncha!
Never read ya post till I'd commented. Too full of me OWN news for that. As per usual.
If I had a bloody quarter to spare I'd send it, you know I would.
Blooody piss poor me (NOW!!)
So that $25 million's out the question then?
How are your helecoptering skills...

Valerie said...

(Obviously I'd send ya $125,000 if only I had it back... (+ a pot of yummy neat dilaudid but ssssshhhh on that one!! (I'm beginning to think someone's been bugging me email!!)))

Gledwood said...

Hi Anna I read through your post again, the long book extract and put 2 and 2 together more.

All I'll say is, they're really into Tough Love in America, aren't they??

Worker calls Probation for your phoning up saying you're using?!

Wow!

I know someone who got punished and was forced to Shoplifters Club for 2 hours each morning (though it must have felt like 5). He was my dealer. He was on heroin and crack constantly despite being punished and didn't seem to care or have any system against him to stop. I've heard here that if you get caught using on top they just up the methadone dose.

You're unlikely to get put in prison just for being arrested. When you get arrested you're usually let out within 2-12 hours. 12 would be a bad one. You get let out on bail conditions, which might include signing in at a police station every day or every other day.

You hardly ever have to give a financial bond unless they think you're rich and/or have done a full-on crime e.g. fraud, international money laundering etc (not even necessarily murder, I mean more serious in a more contrived, more ripping off millions type way than murder which is just gruesome in my book and truly horrible but off THAT one...)

Anyway this shoplifter club guy is now dead. He was serving up real convenient a mere 15 mins walk from my house. People who weren't on heroin/were stupid used to complain "won't they come to you??" well if they do, they take longer. + you don't get a nice walk out of it. So I much preferred coming to them, when I could.

This poor guy is dead and it was so horrible. He was number 6 or 7 in a year.

I don't want to go on about my opinions that are only prompted by stories I hear, I don't have a full comparison and I know it's annoying ot hear a foreigner talking about one's own country ignorantly and/or excessively.

Well I just wanted to say that and more importantly how do I put money on paypal without a credit card? Can't you just email me an address, if I give you my email?

Gledwood said...

O and re prison, I just wanted to add, before it sounds too soft here, that it is normal, after about 3 or 4 offences (maybe more if you don't give the distinct impression you've taken up shoplifting as an Alternative Job) to go to prison every single time for every conviction for shoplifting.

Junkie shoplifting is the only type I know about. Nicking the odd coat/whatever because you like it in that moment, taking it home and wearing/hiding/doing whatever... that other type of shoplifting I know nothing about.

Shoplifting seems to be the most common way of funding a habit here. Followed by prostitution, begging and then probably more horrible types of crime.

I'm leaving out of course using pay from a job or state benefits (sick or unemployment) and just Having Money. You need a Lot of Money to fund a top-end drug habit, so I hear. So much that only a tiny fraction of a percentage can go full tilt for year on end. That lot tend to end up dying quite a lot, too...

Sorry to be negative. Address, please. In an email. What do I have to do? Western Union it?? I can only send about $8 or so. And I bet I'll get ripped off on the exchange rate but hey.

Take it easy. I hope Val's unearthly rantings cheered you up.

Fucking nut nut clinics. If I'd only said YES yesterday I'd have woken up in there!

Anna Grace said...

Gledwood,
You've been chattering about on my comments. I wish there was something we could do for Val. Poor sheila. What I wouldn't for her offers of Dilauded.

Gleds, please don't feel like you have to donate anything. I don't want you or Val(in her predicament) donating anything but a quarter. If you don't have a credit/debit card or paypal account of your own then you just can't donate. No big deal. I highly doubt anyone will donate.

So might be szcophinic(don't know how to spell.) Scary diagnosis. You know Gled when you went away for awhile I really missed you. I can't imagine if you were to die.

Anna Grace said...

Gledwood,
What's your email again? Mine is younganna@ymail.com

I emailed you once and know your email address has something to do with hamsters. I don't want your 8 dollars. Just a quarter of a dollar. 25cents. If everyone who read my blog donated a quarter of a dollar I would be able to pay for tuition at university of Green Bay Wisconsin. At least part. I'm going to put text above the donate button explaining this.

Anonymous said...

It sounds to me like you WANT people to rag on you for doing this.

And how can we be sure our money's not going to fund your next relapse?

Anna Grace said...

Anonymous#1,
I've been ragged on about getting SSI so much that I just assume the majority of people will think as you do that I will spend the money on drugs.

I see the donations I get from my blog as a gift that generous people have given me to help me learn.

When I was strung out on drugs I thought I was A waste of air. I had no talent. I would write from time to time, but I never let anyone read any of it because I thought no one would want to, but I loved writing.

I started a book that I never thought I would finish. I finished that book. I loved every minute of writing it. I'm working on a second book. I can write, but I have no technical abilities when it comes to writing, and I need schooling for that. Writing and letting people read and judge my words gives me the high I used to get from Heroin.

Unfortunately I cannot guarantee that I'll never relapse, but I can guarantee that all donations will go towards a degree in English Lit.

Gledwood said...

That was a really good answer, the last one.

I hope you got my email. Please rsvp if it's gone somewhere else. It sounds right from what you put before that that's what it is, I tried to just lift it whole and slap it down.

Yeah my head keeps spinning out into near-irrelevant. Somehow I have to keep reining it back.

I keep getting messages from Dr*g D****rs saying they have the best crap, but I don't want it.

The only good thing about that schiz label is that it explains stuff I couldn't even explain to myself. EG if it is mental to sleep on floors then I'm mental. I could go on but won't bore you. Also I tried and tried to take control of my own life but just couldn't do it. Not properly and not for any length of time.

I think schizz is meant to be when you have psychosis that is not bipolar or depression and involves hearing voices (yes) and maybe one other thing. They left the diagnostic criteria way way wide open compared to depression/mania, if I recall. Though I cannot be bothered with anyone's criteria of anything except to get OUT of being diagnosed. Kind of told the dr this. I was pretty straight with him because I'm pretty confused and think it's mental and don't know what else to do. That made me feel fucking desperate and also no self esteem left, due to labels "psychotic episode" or "schizophrenia" none of them sound good. The best I'm hoping for now is "bipolar"

Anonymous said...

You crazy mooching waste of oxygen. Not only are you taking my hard earned money to buy drugs with, but now you want people to give you more donations? Yeah, like that’s going to happen. You’re useless and anyone could write a much better book if they had all the time and resources you’ve wasted for years.

Gledwood said...

I don't think she wants to buy drugs with anything. If she wanted to be on drugs that much, she'd be on them and she's not. So What difference Will a College Fund Make??

PS If you wanted to use suboxone as drugs you'd have to be seriously desperate

sorry to intrude Anna
was only here to check my own crap came through

Gledwood said...

Anna sorry I have real bad concentration. So when I try to say something I get lost in what I'm trying to say. Then I never say all of it.

Me dying? O cmon! I know I get suicidal thoughts, but trust me on this, I'm not going anywhere.

I wish I hadn't gone away. It was all to do with a stupid fucking hit counter. A fucking stupid thing I said I would do then I couldn't do it. I so much wish I had just kept my big trap shut and said nothing instead of saying something I genuinelly thought I meant but couldn't or just didn't do

Anonymous said...

I have been reading your blog on and off for a few months.
In good faith I could not donate to your cause. I work with some people that work full time and go to school. They are paying their own way. They are focused on their priorities. I am not sure you are set in your priorities. I am not sure a book about a druggie would make the best seller list or do well in sales. So far there is not a happy ending in that story. You need to believe in yourself until you do, you will continue to mess up your life. You need to stop leaning on others and believe you can make something of yourself on your own.

Anna Grace said...

Anonymous,
I see where your coming from. The book is fiction, all be it losely based fiction. The ending is a surprise.

Anonymous said...

i had paid all my bills this month except electric and the day I was to purchase a money order (me and a checking acct?!! hahaha right) my coke dealer called and I could not say No. So I've been shooting coke for the last 2 days while worrying about the lights going off probably sometime this coming Tuesday. I'm also feeling the customary guilt that always accompanies my last shot of coke. So while I should donate I can't at this time. Pls don't think too harsh of me and stay with the studies. It might keep ya outta trouble eh? Stay true to yourself Anna-Lou.

Hugs
Randy.S.

Gledwood said...

Anna has tried working full time. Was mentally ill and couldn't do it, hence the sick money.

Sorry I'm gonna shut up and stop answering people. Ukkkhhhhhh. Sorry.

Gledwood said...

isn't it easier to wash the coke with soda, save your veins and pipe it?

Americans love shooting coke!!

not that i'm advising anyone should do that. i think that's called "harm reduction"

Gledwood said...

hi Anna i'm in a shit mood today, i hope you are ok

please write soemthing and post it
here are some ideas. I am steering away from drugs

bootycalls
bipolar
beyonce (desperately sticking to the letter b here)
xmas
the weather in wisconsin
hawaii
methadone clinics
suboxone
akh back to drugs. better end it there

Gledwood said...

uk that's a fucking boring list

i'm not myself today. i'm sorry

i'm still going to try and send that £5/$8 tomorrow. won't promise anything, it will only fall through. i know exactly where to go and it's easy to get to. i hope to get there before midday

Tatyanna (and Dorian too) said...

don't feel guilty... i probly shoulda done the donations thing rather than put ads up... but you know that most of us who read your blog are also writers and/or bloggers or some type of literary/reader people ... so we ALL know exactly how it is. i'm sure almost everyone here has needed money for school and to better themselves at some point (or, if they're like me, at ALL POINTS) in life. it's all good, and i believe you will see the $$$$ rollin in soon :)

Tatyanna (and Dorian too) said...

oh p.s. i just read your other comments, and if you have $25 "us dollars" to front, i could sure use just like one or two mill. if you could see it in your heart. ;)