So its Christmas eve, and I have all my gifts bought, but not wrapped. I know what I'm getting for Xmas, its a necklace with a key as the pendent, and its got a bunch of diamond chips in it. I know this because I picked it out. I got my parents 119.00 dollar sheets, and a down blanket.
Other than that, I'm bored out of my mind. Tonight we have to drive up to Oconto Falls for a family gathering. I'm actually excited to see my family. I just hate the drive. Plus it will be dark out when we leave, I hate driving in the dark. I assume I'll have to drive home, because my parents will have some drinks.
If your wondering what I've been doing since I haven't posted everyday like I usually do, I'll let you in on whats up. I've been going up and down in moods. Its like I'm cycling in one day over and over. I worry about things. Normally writing helps me, and I should have written about this. I didn't though. Mainly because I'm lazy. I just couldn't bring myself to open the laptop and sign into blogger. I worry about being dead, being alive. Wasting my life, wishing I was off Suboxone so I could use and feel better.
I can't write anything cohertly because my mind is just a buzz with every thought. I can't pick one thing to write about. After every sentence I write there is a pause, me thinking which idea should I go with.
I hadn't showered in four days, and I hadn't changed my underwear in four days either. I stunk to high heaven. I got in the car with my dad to go buy the ring my mom had picked out for Christmas, and I was horrified at how I smelled. Not stinky pussy, but this weird smell that I've never smelled before. Like bad breath in the morning. I do still brush my teeth everyday. I wanna keep those baby's. Although yesterday I had a bad toothache. That is aside the point. I noticed that I smelled bad two days before I actually got in the shower. We don't have class right now, and it really took a toll on my hygiene. I also have this dry shampoo. Its in a spray can, and it sprays out a powder that soaks up the oils in your hair, to keep it from getting greasy. So my hair looks clean, but my body starts to smell.
With my toothache yesterday, it was the nerves in my teeth that hurt, and no matter how much Advil I took it wouldn't go away. I even took an extra one of my Suboxone to kill the pain.That didn't work. Then I remembered my mom got Neurontin, and this is for never pain, so I took one, it still didn't go away, then I took another one, alone with the Neurotin I took my night pills, and knocked me out at 7pm. I fell asleep on the couch and didn't wake up until midnight, and when I woke up my tooth didn't hurt anymore, but my arms hurt like hell. I had slept on them wrong. I had just taken my shower, and my hair had been wet when I fell asleep, when I woke up it was dry and a big curly mess. So I shuffled along to my room, took off my sweatshirt, and crawled into bed. There I feel asleep in an awkward position. When I woke up this morning my arms didn't hurt as much, but my neck hurt like a bitch.
I know this is probably the boring to read, but I had to write, and what better to write about than my daily life. Sorry for you guys reading this.
Merry Christmas everyone,