Christmas is over and I can officially say I had a good Christmas. Christmas eve on the other hand was not so fun. Both days I've had a horrible tooth ache and headache. I switched cigarette brands because of these headaches. I now smoke Marb lights.
Lately I've been taking Clonazepam again more than prescribed. I use it to sleep. Not like with my Methadone when I mixed the two I got a nod, and a slight feeling of being high on Heroin. The Suboxone doesn't put me on the nod at all, but Clonazepam lowers the effects of the Adderal. Adderal keeps me up at night. The Clonazepam puts me to sleep along with Tylenol PM. I look forward to 7pm because that's when I take all my night pills, along with 2mg of Clonazepam, I feel a slight glow. Falling asleep is my new high. I'm up and wide awake all day with the Adderal and it gets tedious. Sleep, how I used to loath those little slices of death. Sleep, how I now love the wonderful peace it gives me.
Notice how the above is hard to understand. Its like that in my mind. I can no longer get things out in a clear manor.
Now to my Christmas. Christmas eve I spent at my Cousin Brenda's house in Oconto Falls. My cousin Jason had flew in from Alaska, and my Uncle Buster, my aunt Debbie, my cousin Amanda(Brenda's twin sister) me, my parents, and Amanda and Brenda's kids were all there. It was festive, but my dad disappeared to the bar across the street. I got a bad headache, and toothache. Plus I couldn't be in my Pajamas, which is all I now wear. So I just yearned to be home. After eating, and looking at Jason's pictures on the Wii we went to the bar picked up my dad and drove home, where I took my night pills, and fell into a lovely sleep.
Upon waking Christmas morning at 6am I had to put my Suboxone under my tongue and wait for them to dissolve. I hate that part of my morning. The only thing that takes away the taste in my mouth is coffee with a couple shots of Baily's drink. My parents were up, and I had put their gift from me under the tree after they went to bed on Christmas Eve. The only gift I thought I was getting was a necklace I picked out myself. The one with the key pendant with diamond chips in it. Around 7 we decided it was time to open gifts. My dad opened his gifts first. He got two pairs of jeans, and a sweatshirt from Ralf Lauren. My mom got a Jewelry amour, a diamond ring, and a diamond wedding band. I got my parents 119.00 dollar sheets, and and down blanket for their bed. I got two Kurt Cobain Tshirts, and a winter coat, along with the necklace.
After opening gifts we drove over to my cousin Amanda's for breakfast. We saw what the kids got from Santa, and we had a fun visit. We played a card game with the kids, and me, mom, and Amanda. The kids are Kennedy and Carly. Two of the cutest kids god ever created. Going to Amanda's was the best part of Chirstmas. After getting back to our apartment we watched family videos from 1987 when I was four. My aunt Debbi stopped by for a visit, but she didn't stay long because me and mom were going to go over to my Grandma Grace's house for Christmas lunch at 2pm. So me and mom drove all the way to Oconto Falls again and we sat and ate with my Grandam, her sister, my mom's sister, and her oldest kid Erika and her two babies. Along with husbands. My dad stayed home.
I wished Santa would gave me hypodermic needle filled with Heroin, I would take a week off the Suboxone to feel it. Santa isn't drug friendly, he's usually a alcoholic. Damn you Santa.