Tuesday, December 28, 2010

This is for Gledwood

I'm on a lazy streak, no showers, no nothing today. My class is over, and I have nothing to do during the day. I got to read a lot of good literature. I wrote a few good papers, I got a B in the class. I'm a B writer. I wish I had the talent Gledwood has. If you don't know who Gledwood is his blog is Gledwood2.blogspot.com. He can pound out a great blog.

Gledwood is my best friend. I know pathetic, my best friend is Ocean away, and I only know him from our blogs, and some emails and comments. He keeps me blogging when feel there is nothing more I can say. What do I do during the day, first off I get out of bed. I don't change out of my sweatpants, and t-shirt. I have really soft t-shirts from the Internet. I have a lot of cool t-shirts. I pee, change my underwear because I'm scared my pussy will smell bad. Then I take my Suboxone, which I hate doing because it has to dissolve under my tongue. It tastes nasty in mouth. I explained this before. Coffee and Baily's to get taste out of my mouth. After I take all my morning pills I stare at the Telly all day. Sometimes I go on my phone and surf the web. Looking at random things. A lot of Kurt Cobain shit. I got google maps downloaded on my phone today and I looked up our apartment building and the street I live on. I watch TV and movies all day until 6pm when I watch How I met you mother. A sit com I enjoy. After that Its just prime time television.

My life is getting to be a waste of time and air. At least when I was using I got out every day, even on the Methadone. I had to leave the house to get my Methadone. I'm thinking of going back on the Methadone. I miss my buzz. Plus my tolerance is really low and I'd probably feel the effects of Methadone as an opiate. Not for long, but a week or two. Then again another part of me wants off all drugs. I know I can't go off my Bi Polar meds or I would end up in the nut house yet again. I'm so confused about what I should do. As far as everything in my life I'm confused. My book comes out in March and I know its going to crash and burn. From what I got on comments when I posted some of it on here. I got a copy of the edited version and the grammar and punctuation, along with the run on sentences are gone. It changed the book a bit, but for the better. As far as my second novel I'm not getting anywhere right now. Tomorrow I'm going to take 60 mgs of Adderal, and see if I get some motivation.

If I was a real writer I would live in New York city and sit at a coffee shop with my laptop writing and drinking coffee. Instead I'm a lonely old bag with nothing to show for my life except a novel about my drug use. As soon as it comes out I will have it posted on my blog, so anyone interested in buy the book they can. I don't mean I'm going to paste and copy the whole book on my blog, I will put up a link to Amazon.com where you can purchase the book.

Last night I got drunk, what made me get drunk is beyond me, but I just couldn't stop with drink. So today I'm tired. I didn't even brush my teeth today. I had two Heath bars, and noodles  for food today.

I also think I'm in love with Gledwood. I want to move to NYC with him, and live out the writers dream. Still  an ocean separate us, he is not able to get here. I could go visit him, I do have  four grand, but he doesn't want me to. Yet another stalker obsession. Sorry Gledwood. He won't even send me a photo of himself. I just want to look at who I'm in computer land in love with.

I'm never going to know you know, but I'm going to love you anyhow.


Gledwood said...

I never said I don't want you to visit I said not NOW.

What kind of a friend would I be if I wound you up saying yeah come over then it all fell to pieces? I gotta sort meself out I'm in a real mess literally. Mess. Everywhere. Clearing it up seems to have made it look worse! I'm dreading what the Bastard Landlord would say.

You know I was a B student in English I got grades B at school. My writing picked up over the following 20 years. Since I took up blogging I'd say it's better in that I can think of alternative ways of putting things. I'd be the last person to say I write fantastically well. I know I CAN write nicely, that doesn't mean I always do.

Here is a list of some of the biggest selling writers of all time:

Agatha Christie 2 billion copies. 1 billion in English, 1 billion in translation.

Barbara Cartland about 600 million copies of 600 books.

J K Rowling at least 60 million each of 7 titles ie at least 420 million.

Dan Brown sold over 70 million copiies of the Da Vinci code which makes that the biggest selling novel of all time.

Stephen King at least 300 million copies.

Danielle Steele at least 450 million copies.

Look at their prose, every single one writes in an effortless but plain style you are easily capable of, so don't do yourself down.

It's down to earth that sells!!

Well I gotta ping. The only food I've got is pasta and ice cream. The pasta's boiling as we speak and I'm running down the shop for more cyder.

Thanks for posting. Maybe that Valerie will shut up now!


the guy in the silk taffeta dress said...

I love the way you express yourself, it's so sincere and you're pretty direct. I like that approach.
March? That's not so far away. I'm buying the book and reading every single word. I like how your mind works & your thoughts stray in to different subjects within 1 post. It makes it very interesting to read.
You & Gledwood should get together. You two are so sweet & fond of each other.
What's this "ugly old bag" talk????? That's so far from the truth that I get upset reading it.
Will you please put on your prettiest outfit and take a GOOD long look in the mirror. Please.

Gledwood said...

I don't even know HOW to post a photo up, the ones I use are ones I found online I used to look like Kurt Cobain now I look like a scarecrow. I will post you a photo of what I look like, I'll put it on my blog just for you


Gledwood said...

I'm going to pretend to be an anonymous here: why don't you get a life you waste of oxygen blue haired cow!

See you should get no bad comments now because I said it for them. Didn't you think that reply Naomi gave was cool?

Criticizing you for looking upset! I do like the Miss Misery picture you look REALLY pissed off in that one, it made me laugh when I was hyper the other week I kept looking at you looking so annoyed. What I find funny is that you are ultra-frank. And I also think you're very brave to post yourself exactly as you are, both in pictures and words. I love that blue hair btw. Blue is the best colour. Do you get more bootycalls when you're pissed off? I used to get lots of attention when I came into a pub on Friday night in a bad mood. It must have given me a smouldering quality. I kept getting asked for lights etc. I think I'd have a good time in a women's prison in that state. If I ever got in prison I was going to pretend to be a transsexual and demand to go in a women's prison. Or just pretend to be a woman. I don't think I could handle all that shaving, but it would be fun to get in there, y'know.

I haven't slept all night. I'm really tired but I cannot sleep. I'm very annoyed with my drs because I'm in trouble for living in a mess and I've told them and the drug clinic I wasn't coping I mean what else can I do? Now I'm clearing up but it's taking fucking AGES.

This is why btw I was saying I couldn't do that travelling now. I really have to sort myself out Anna. I have made a total mess.

So really it's ME who'se the waste of space waste of oxygen!

I hope you weren't offended by that. I was just being stupid. I find those people very odd. I mean why do they say the things they say I don't get it.

O man I need to sleep I have sleep deprivation wny can't I sort myself out. I'm trying but it's not working. I know you're not happy in a lot of ways but are you happy to be with your family? I find families very difficult. Plus it's not easy to appreciate something till it's not there. When I was young, v early 20s, I just wanted independene and that as far as I saw only came with money and everything seemed too expensive to me.

Myabe I should address anonymous to me, why don't I get a life but I'm trying!

I would love to live that writer's life in New York City. I know a lot of people justget holiday visas and overstay but I love New York I would hate to get banned from the coolest place on earth just because I couldn't be bothered to get paperwork right, so I need to look into how to do it properly. If I got a book published first it would be better. By published I mean written and signed a contract so had an advance. Hopefully for $5 million.

Then we'd be fine in New York

Valerie said...

Anna Baby

Isn't that Gledwood RUDE. Fucking putting anonymous comments even if they are fake. We all adore your blue wig in here. Ho Ling wore one at the Xmas prison ball and looked fantastic with her Chinese skin against electric blue.

Now Gledwood honey I just heard something about $5 million, I know you kept hitting me for free gifts all the time because you were piss poor but if you do have a few meagre millions now, would you mind helping your Auntie Val out? We need $5 million US to hire a helecopter with rope ladders, machine guns for killing the guards etc etc etc. Then we can send the helecopter to Burma to pick up a lovely load of China White for you both. How does that sound?

Anna, Bruce said your pot of neat dilaudid got returned by the US postal service. The stingy fucker hadn't stuck on enough STAMPS!! I'll see he sends it back soon


Gledwood said...

Really I look like Curt Kobain but I posted up Worzel Gummidge because that's who I look like when I look like shit. (All the time now.) I have never actually taken a photo and put it on a blog. I don't know how you do that. Surely you must have to get a digital camera or phone and plug it in with a wire? Those hamster pictures BTW were lookeylikeys, as all robo-hamsters look the "same" I just picked out ones that looked like my pets. If I'd had a camera I would have posted them sleeping like three bearskin rugs with faces piled one on top of the other, they looked so funny. Sorry if my picture is disappointing I feel very disappointing today. I'm pissed off. Are you pissed off? If so we can be pissed off together. I don't know how to cope without the magic heroin you know. I didn't even want it today but I'm still not coping without it

Maureen said...

Anna, Sweetie, YOU don't want to end up like me. Still surving thirty years + on methadone!!!!!Granted, I raised my son, managed to work for a grocery store doing customer service. I'm also married to man, that is NOT an opiate addict, which at times makes thing rough. My s.o. knows it isn't my fault I am opiate dependent, as a baby barely born, they fed me paragoric by the quarts my late Dad announced 2 me after I gave birth back in 1979. Back then I was on 22.5 mgs. of methadone. I only knew my dose, as I was pregnant & had care through the county. Hospital visits 1X a week, for 40 weeks also. My dose didn't get higher until 1999, I think when I changed clinics back in 1998/1999 I asked 4 a raise, which wasn't good. They will raise U w/out as much as a blink of an eye.
Enough of my comment, I just want you 2 know ur not a loser junkie, ur a beautiful woman who has much 2 share about ur life. My thoughts get jumbled up & I go off on another subject faster than I can think! Let's give Gleds a break, HE is an excellent write. Can NEVER comment on his blog???? Take care of YOU! Ur what matters, Love, Maureen
P.S. My clinic charges me $220.00 every 28th day, plus my dose is 2 high, IMHO so I have decresed my dose a little bit. Since blogs are NOT private, ANYONE looking 4 a blog about methadone ( i hate it called meth) Done is better, what I am saying the web is huge, but NOT when Ur looking for blogs on methadone. I know personally from my barely started blog. Will email you next time, alrighty?

Maureen said...

Anna, So very sorry for the long drawn out comment. Sweetie, next time I will just email you if you welcome some advice from me, old enough to be ur Mum. Let me know if & when you reply to ur comments.
God Bless us ALL,

Anna Grace said...

All advise is welcome Maureen. My email is younganna@ymail.com. Thanks for the offer. I'm on suboxone now, but might have to go back to Methadone.

Anonymous said...

Where are you? HI or WI?

Gledwood said...

O man I meant to comment earlier trust me to switch off without clicking publish.

1: Anna before I really do forget to say, I like your Getting Into the Car photo the most. You got beautiful eyes.

2: Maureen can you tell your blog address?

The only methadone blogs I know are

Methadone Pretty sickgirl-methadonepretty.blogspot.com


Normal Life on Methadone mina-sirius.blogspot.com

Anna Grace said...

I'm in WI.

Gledwood, will you email me your address so I can send you this digital camera.

Anonymous said...

Gledwood, Think that I sent you an invite via ur email.......... hammynutter@lycos.com, as the www. is Sooooooooo big, yet small. This dude I met in 2001, was a so called follower, when I kind of started 2 blog. Anyhow, since Joe saw it, then my director of my clinic can............... thus PRIVATE like Mina suggsted. Anna, I will email you when not so much is going on in my life. Need to blog, rather than email "friends" right now. Take care of YOURSELF kiddo, life is to damn short! Watched my life fly by me soo fast, I wish that time could stand still.
Ur LOVED Anna,