Wednesday, January 12, 2011

For Gledwood.

This song goes out to Gledwood. I know you've been having a rough time, and so have I. I did use that Heroin yesterday. I was high when I typed out my last post. I love you Gledwood.


Gledwood said...

Wow that's a pretty good tune. I never had even heard it before. I scored heroin yesterday too, but I'm not writing it on my blog yet. I'm too fed up of disappointing everybody.

I was looking up how to switch moods from down to up. The only advie I found was lose loads of sleep, drink too much caffeine and drink alcohol. Well the first and the last I've already done. I didn't intend to lose sleep, I just found myself up all night. As for alcohol, I drink that come rain or shine.

I bet nothing will fucking work though. I started getting racing thoughts again a couple of weeks ago and got a bit hyper and disinhibited. It was nowhere near on the level when I went so up I began to think the drug clinic had spiked me with E and coke... And this time it only lasted a few days. Very disappointing. I am fed up with being depressed.

Now it's nearly 9am and I'm going to clean my house. Haven't finished the job by any means frankly I gave up due to sheer exhaustion and the fact that I wasn't using heroin made it so hard for me to get myself together, then I DID use it and WOW! Suddenly I feel like a complete person again and can think something up and do it, like normal poeple do. Wow!

The landlord was meant to come pest controlling as there's roaches EVERYWHERE in London. You can tell how bad the local infestations are by the level of cockroach spray stocked in grocery stores. Just down the road there's loads of it. Here there's much less but I somehow managed to get them. My Mum said they live everywhere in London. The Housing Advice Worker said she has them and she's a normal person not a junkie. If they're coming from anywhere they're actually coming from the guy downstairs. He's the one who keeps going on about them.

Sorry to go on it's life. Life is so shit without drugs in it I don't know how I'm ever going to cope. Was the china white any good? The gear i got was crap, but thats because most fo the gear nowadays is crap. I've had enough of it. I'm cutting down to 3 cans strong cyder per day which is really good for me. I only had 3 yesterday.

I hope you start feeling Ok too. I'm going to try looking for a song but the one I have in mind I'm not sure you'll like. it's not exactly an "original" choice but hey...

take it easy and no more china white. Heroin is bad for us!


Gledwood said...

PS if you've got unlimited broadband I've posted up ALL my drug video links. They're at the very top of my sidebar in brief, but the detailed descriptions, with the same links are at the very bottom of my blog page, under wherever the last post would be. There's a good 5 or 6 feature length documentaries as well as Bangcock Hilton which starred Nicole Kidman. I'm not sure it's well known in America but it was very famous here. It's about heroin smuggling and life in a Thai prison. The prison bit doesn't come until the 2nd half, so if you just want jail scenes skip part 1. The other doccos are Mexican Tar; Ben, video diary of a heroin addict; people taking heroin in USA and Norway (5 mins), Afghanistan Harvest of Doom documentary,o yeah and Phil Mitchell from Eastenders on crack. Eastenders is the best soap opera we've got here. It's not considered girlie for a guy to say "I'm watching Eastenders" ~ it's the only soap that appeals to men as well as women, though it does get really crap from time to time. The Phil Mitchell scenes are hilarious though. I don't know if you saw them when I posted them up the first time round it was hilarious. When they said it was a carefully researched storyline I thought Phil, who'd been a drinker for a good 10 years, though he went on the waggon, would go on the crack and like a normal person stay on THAT for a good ten years but no! Ten DAYS later he was off it!! It makes really entertaining viewing though

Anonymous said...

it probably won't help you stay off the gear if you constantly go on about it and watch videos about it

Gledwood said...

that's true, that's why i don't watch them, i know loads of people do. lots of people view stuff like that as drug porn

Anna what's happening. Tell me about the China White was it any good? I put up a vid for you. I know it wasn't a very original choice but I like the tune. I don't have sophisticated taste in music like you. I even like Madonna

the guy in the silk taffeta dress said...

Anna, you & Gleds have intense chemistry. I can tell as an observer.
I was just on his blog and was happily surprised to see your face over ther and those blue eyes.
Btw, Gleds & Anna I like both the songs u picked out 4 one another.

I think U & Gleds should start a blog TOGETHER, a new one where you're both collaborating.
If this idea sounds shitty, forgive me I've had a 6 pack along with my meds...I still wish the 2 of u would consider opening a new blog where you both write together.
Since he can't be here & u cant be there, I think it'd make for fascinating reading.
good nite.

Gledwood said...

We were going to do two blogs where we pretended to be two old ladies tut tutting about our neighbours' bad behaviour, riding the lawnmower naked (my idea) mastabating in the back garden (Anna's idea) and so on... I would have picked out some really horrible pictures to use as ourselves.

Anna what's happened, did you email? I haven't checked email. I was asleep all day then miserable as fucking sin all evening then some shithead left an anonymous comment and I told them to get fucked I said I wouldn't even fuck them with someone else's

Gledwood said...

So how about it you wanna do this shared blog? But what would we share when we're about 3848.1 Miles apart?

Better muse on the matter. How about those 2 gossiping old ladies though? That would be hilarious. I was thinking of giving Valerie her own blog. You could be Mr Kim the heroin chemist, or Valerie's arch-rival in New York... whatever... hey that would be a good one

Gledwood said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gledwood said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Anna, you are a fucking train wreck and Gled you need to get a fucking clue in life man, how many blogs to you have and you post fucking 5 responses on here too? you both need to get your junky asses off the computer and actually live your lives instead of slowing killing yourselves.. I guess you can't see it when you are in so deep but you both need to wake the fuck up

Gledwood said...

I'm deleting some of those comments they were out of order you're right

I'm genuinely sorry for any offence caused to anyone.

Yes I am feeling like a train wreck. I feel like shit. I'm off heroin, barely drinking and nothing is holding me together. If I carry on the way I am I will be in a mental hospital very soon. I just cannot cope.

Gledwood said...

Anna is the only person I ever post multiple comments to. She is the only person in the world sometimes I think who understands me.

Really by saying what you're saying you sound like you're criticizing our friendship. Should we not be friends then? Is that what you're saying? Or what are you saying?

Anonymous said...

anna isn't the only one you post multiple comments on. You do it all the time. I'm not the original commenter but they have a very good point

the guy in the silk taffeta dress said...

Reveal who YOU are first.
If you're hiding, why should anyone care about the silly comments you're typing in?
The TROLL is the one who needs to wisen up a little.
Anna, don't pay attention to that troll.
He/she must HAVE A GOOD REASON for HIDING behind their NASTY WORDS.
Consider the joint blog.

Gledwood said...

ok with the exception of melody lee who i didn't know what the fuck had happened to for months on end, who else do i post multiple comments on the same post to and by multiple i mean more than 2?

anna post something!

post what is going on in your house, you don't have to talk about yourself

if you saw a family member, friend, dr, drug worker, or anyone mention that

these are just ideas i know you obviously feel totallly uninspired or you'd be blogging

get well soon take care xx

Gledwood said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Valerie said...

Come back!

Us girls here at Sydney nick are having a quiet Sunday. Every day's the fucking same in here. Endless cunnilingus and no fucking sleeping pills. The BASTARDS.

Val xx

Valerie said...

Anna Baby I'm having real difficulty concentrating when Ho Ling's tongue's doing its highly expert but same old fucking crap every fucking morning/afternoon/night. She does owe me a lot of sexual favours as I'm bringing crack in to 5 out of 6 wings in here. Problem being we're in punishment ~ ie drug detox so I'm not touching the shit. Crack without smack is like bread without butter. Unmentionable! Did you know those crazy Cambodians actually do eat bread without butter. Not to mention Thais, Burmese and Chinese! I'm not Queen of the Golden Triangle without knowing a thing or two about local food habits. You'd be surprised how much heroin someone will mule across a couple of minefields and an international border for the promise of a McDonalds Happy Meal!!

Now on to my point Anna Baby you must have had some luscious girl-on-girl action when you were in the can. Surely! Please give some details so us lesbians. OOPS sorry temporary bisexuals. Can have some good porno fun. Post in full lurid explicit detail. If there's no sex to report, then a good girl on girl fight is always good fun. I'm pretty nifty with me left hook, not to mention the right one. I got off the blinding charge by paying the judge a half key of China White. He loved the stuff, kept phoning asking for more 6 months later, greedy fucker!

Yeah it's not for nothing I wear diamond rings on every finger. Except in this fucking dump. Now I have to arm myself with a sawn-off toothbrush. Plastic can be surprisingly sharp ya know. Obviously I'm a real lady usually and just use my fists plus a bit of headbtting.

Oh come on baby post us some details. You must have a violent streak in there sometimes. If not some good sizzling sexy action will do. That pervert Gledwood says something about you and some person called Jess. Did you fuck him or not?

Hope you're feeling better soon baby. I know all about bipolar because I've got irritable bowels. That's a kind of swing between diarrhoea and constipation so I know exactly what you're going through

Lots of love



your biggest fan. (Much bigger than that shit-bastard Gledwood.)

Anonymous said...

Look if I opened a gmail account what difference would that make. You don't know me personally anyway. So you're saying if i open a gmail account then repost what i said that it would be valid haha omg get a grip. I'm as valid as you are. What I said is true, I found Gledwoods blog through Shanes, you post multiple ones on there all the time gledwood, so theres at least 3 blogs.
Back to Blue Dress, I don't know who rattled your cage, I was only pointing out the truth. jesus if you lot are that insecure what the hell are you doing blogging. Just because I don't brown nose everyones arse like you seem to, doesn't mean i'm trying to be a nasty cunt either. I didn't say they were both fuck ups or anything just that I know he does multiple comment on other blogs. don't get your knickers in twist haha

Gledwood said...

o yeah blogs they're nearly all just scrapbooks bc i didn't have a computer. bookmarks to youtube screens i thought i might want to watch at some point at some time ~ main reason most stuff is in there

the english one is the only one i update daily or more

the german one used to be every day but i dont feel inclined to speak a foreign language all the time it does my head in i'm just glad i'm not foreign and have to (try being Danish and talking to the world in your own language...)

o i can't remember what else yeah of course i do occasionally say 1 thing then think of another more often than not the split second i click GO!

i wasn't offended just a bit bemused and didn't know what you meant i'm not that touchy. well not most of the time ha ha

BMelonsLemonade said...

Anna, just popping in to say hi. I worry when you do not post for a while, and since you did get high the other day...I just wanted to check on you. I hope you are doing okay, and having a fucking blast whatever you are doing. Stay safe and be careful, though.
Much Love...T