I didn't use Heroin today. I'm not feeling well, and all I can think about is a needle. I'm trying to stop using. I signed up for rehab, they have an opening date in a duel diagnosis center in Madison on Feb. 20th. Kurt Cobain's birthday. I don't want to end up like Kurt, and I don't want to skip out of rehab, go missing for four days, and end up blowing my head off. If I go into rehab I'll be there when my book comes out. Its a 90 day program.
About the Gledwood post, I wrote that in the heat of the moment. I don't know if I love him, I know that I like him. I think that we would get on great. He's got the heart of a fox. That's a good thing. When I think of who he is in my mind, I am so happy. I swear that we have met thousands of times.
I'm drinking Vodka right now, to help reduce the sickness. I don't have the money to buy dope, and my parents won't borrow me any money. I took about 5 percocets but it hasn't touched me. I don't feel the least bit high. I wanna feel nothing.
My blog is sucky. I hate myself and want to die. I thought about drowning myself in a freezing river. I don't have the guts to do it though. It makes me hate myself even more. I'm terrified of ice.