Thursday, February 10, 2011

I'm posting this fast so I can get high

Whats new with me? Well I've been clean for five full days. I'm only using every once in a while now. I moved back in with my parents. Right now I'm watching the Twilight saga movies. I have all three, and can't wait for the next installment to come out. Some one complained that I talk about my dog to much. Well I'm glad to be back with Eleanor. She is the sweetest thing to me. I'm off to rehab for 90 days soon, and I won't be able to see her. Maybe on visits, but not like now.

Its strange normally I dread rehab, but this time I'm actually looking forward to it. I wanna get my meds straightened out. I want to live a clean life again. This time without Methadone, or Suboxone. A truely clean me. It sounds insane. Me clean. WTF!

Lately I've been going to water arobics classes with my mom at the YWCA, and its alot of fun. Of course I only go on days that I've used. Otherwise I just don't feel like doing anything.  Like today I feel lousey, and am just sitting on the couch watching movies. I do have some H to use up. My mom and dad went shopping, and after I'm done typeing this up I might go bang up. Not really a might, I will. Then I get down on the floor and play with Eleanor.

The main thing thats going to suck about rehab is that I won't be able to use in there. I will be able to wear my pinnk sweatpants  all the time. Will match my phone. Thank god you can still smoke in rehab.

My moods have been up and down, but thats because I've been on and off drugs.

4 comments:

Gledwood said...

if you truly want to live clean then all power to you!

i would say good luck but it's not luck you need it's your own willingness you need to get and stay in touch with to get through all you have to get through

detoxing off suboxone is a walk in the park compared to methadone detox

now at last some of the really shitty things that happened to you when you were treated appallingly and forced to detox, these can give you strength and a point of comparison, because nothing you go through in that rehab will come anywhere close to what you were put through before

you know i really admire you ;-)

BMelonsLemonade said...

I think truly clean is the way to go. For me, it was much more than getting off dope. It was breaking that cycle. With methadone and suboxone, I still woke up feeling crappy every morning, and the first thing I did was think about my addiction, and go get my fix. OI had to break that cycle. The feeling is unbelievable when you finally wake up, and the first thing you think about is not drugs. You can lie in the bed, and just think about the world, your life...nothing at all. It is liberating.

the guy in the silk taffeta dress said...

Anna,
You are wonderful & fascinating with or w/o any drugs.
Personally, I think the sober Anna is much more interesting cause she's got attitude w/o being doped up. More power to you!

Wiggy said...

Dude, you are so wack.