Friday, March 11, 2011

Look at this photo and guess my weight

I'm just curious, how much do you people think I weigh? Somebody by the name of B said I should not shove food in mouth, and was embarrassed to have commented, he also said I was trash. From my photos do I look really fat?

I know I'm fat, but morbidly obese?

I wonder what it would be like to get a lobotomy. No I don't want one, yet all the emotional parts of the brain are in the frontal lobes, scramble those up and what kind of emotions does  one have, if any at all?


Gledwood said...

No you are not morbidly obese.

I've been thin (ridiculously thin) and fat in English money my weight has varied 9 stone to 14 stone I think theres 14 lbs to s atone but I'm not sure. My ideal weight is about 11 stone which is about 77kg.

Apart from taking exercise, which you are doing, the best thing you can do is change your diet permanently. Eat wholegrain and wholemeal food because it contains fibre which sucks up fat, has more vitamins in it and also "regulates the bowels".

The best thing you can possibly do is to give up permanently on all candy, desserts, cakes, chocolate etc. I know this sounds harsh but when I was really thin I NEVER ate stuff like this EVER. And it worked. If you eat stuff like seedless grapes instead you get far more water in proportion to the weight of stuff you eat and again they "regulate the bowels" so if you do get the shits, remember diarrhoea is keeping you thin. I don't suggest deliberately inducing diarrhoea Im talking in general principals, they do work.

If you can give up sweets for good and eat wholemeal and stick below a certain level of calories you're most of the way there. You're doing so well Anna don't beat yourself up or let anybody else do it for you ;-)

Gledwood said...

Sorry I can't guess a weight as I don't know your height, not having met you it's really hard.

You only know your weight to know where you were.

You sound much happier and much more motivated than you were which is really good.

Anna Grace said...


Have u checked ur email? I have two into u, unanswered. One is very personal on ur part and I understand if u don't answer.

Verity Vaudeville said...

That is so rude. How dare they assume they have the authority or right to talk about you this way. Especially on your own blog; a place you should feel absolutely uninhibited and free to express yourself however you see fit. How others choose to interpret you is up to them, but it doesn't mean they should tell you. That's just tactless and insensitive. As for being overweight or worried about size, don't worry, you are a person regardless. Always try to remember that. Deserving of all the things you want out of life. Promise.

As for wanting to get high, maybe you will always feel like that to some degree. There's a kind of romanticism isn't there. A certain charm about the calm it can bring. Like a lover wooing you and sweeping you off your feet. It's more than I can explain with the depth that it of course means. It's a mirage though, for sure. The smoke and mirrors of the fantasy nothing more than fateful reminders.

Sometimes it is just hard. And all those mean people can get stuffed.

Anonymous said...

It depends on your height. I'm thinking 5'7 and 215lbs

Anonymous said...

5'5 and 170.

Gledwood said...

ok i'll go check the email i was checking it when you weren't writing i only check it for you i get anxiety and close to panic attacks going into email i don't know why i just do that is why people get offended they can't understand it's a big deal for me yes i know i am mentally ill its just one of my stupid foibles. for you i will check it!


Gledwood said...

I just focused on the last part of what you said. My mood is still cycling Anna I had a TINY bit more methadone thanks to having scored some weeks ago I just took a little dreg on top of my normal dose and that or something else made me hypomanic again. Then again I've done the same thing in the past and NOTHING happened.

Anyway this lobotomy thing of course as you say you dont need one. They DO use psychosurgery VERY rarely I saw a TV prog on it some years ago.

3 people 2 who had bipolar depression for a decade straight and 1 who had OCD all had a lazer shone into their brains in the same spot to burn out the bad neurons.

It's weird that when I was a kid I had symptoms of depression I honestly felt like I had cancer and was dying. My parents say it wasn't as bad as I remember, but I also remember them not having a clue what I thought or felt and asking why I was crying I was crying because I was upset not for any "reason".

Anyway after this depression went it faded directly into obsessive compulsive disorder ~ me washing my hands over and over so in winter they chapped up and bled. And as I say, its teh same part of the brain. Then over the years from age 19 to 38 I had recurrent depression with mania that got worse and worse until it was actually more intense at the peak than anything I've read about in a book. Just a fucking roaring noise in my head with no English in there at all. I've never even herad of anyone going that manic. It was really fucking intense. And only after this did I get proper help. After years of fucking floundering and "dying inside" as Melody says, years of shit FINALLY they see I was ill, the idiots. Sorry to go on I'm just really tired of this mental ill health shit it's the same problems you're putting up with. It's weird a while ago we realized we were very similar it could be that labels aside our illness is the same. Do you know in America I think I am bipolar type 1 like you are. They diagnose schizoaffective differently out there.

You are type 1 bipolar. The 37 parts depression to 1 part hypomania is only "what tends to happen" not a diagnostic thing. Hypomania means mild mania. Full on mania is eg not sleeping for days on end or getting by on 2 or 3 hours' sleep most nights, hearing voices, your thoughts splitting up or thinking just jumbled up words and not sentences, finding it hard to read or follow other people's talk especially when they say something unexpected (not just good morning etc but complicated stuff) and so on and so on I'm sure you are type 1 also that delusional thing is type 1. I'm going to go in my email in a bit sorry not to have done it earlier Im a bit... o man I'm finding everything a bit difficult even though I'm hyper.

People say "living with mental illness" but like i say on my blog thats like sharing your bed with a fucking skeleton. How do you "live with mental illness"? I don't get it.

Take care Anna I'll do this email thing and be in touch soon ;-)