I'm so sad, so depressed. I never have anything to say. My life is one boring ass life. I'm really considering using dope again. If I can find anyone who sells the shit around here. I no longer have a car to drive down to Chicago to buy some. My parents car is shit. At least I would have something to look forward to every few days. Although I have used some pain pills in the past few days, and I get a little buzz from them, but nothing like almost ODing on H. Like in that movie about Kurt Cobain's last days, movies is call Last Days. It shows an actor almost ODing on Heroin, barely capable of walking, nodding out everywhere.
Don't worry I highly doubt I'll find any Heroin. Anyone who lives in Green Bay and know someone selling good dope call me. 920-660-5231. I probably won't trust you, but just tell me who to call to get something. Like this would ever happen.
Why you ask would I want to start up an addiction again? Well the answer is simple, I'm defined by my addiction. Everyone in my family knows me as the one who used Heroin and put needles in her arms, hands, legs, and feet. They probably just think arms. Non addicts usually don't know all the places to shoot dope. Neck too. Veins in the boobs. I once saw a guy shoot it in his penis. Of course this time around I would only use every 48 hours to keep from getting hooked again. That would leave me something to look forward to, plus keep my tolerance low.
Its dangerous using alone, and I'm always alone. I used to have a boyfriend, or a dope friend who would be with me. Not that I never used alone, but I tried not to.
I wish when I blogged it was like HeroinHeads blog. Beautiful, poetic, interesting. Is that a complete sentence. I wish all my posts were like Shakespeare's sonnets. Instead I write about a fucking bunch of shit. This is all pure fucking dung.
I lost 3.2 pounds this week. Whaaaaaaaaaaat? Yep.
I've gotta go. Heroin by the Velvet underground. LOVE YOU LOU! For my fellow addict in recovery Gledwood.