Its not my last day in Yuma Arizona. I'm here until Wednesday. I'm not going to have enough drugs to get me home. FUCK! I've used up all the H, and some of the Dilauded. When I wake up in the morning I'm so depressed and anxious that I feel the only solution is to either shoot up, or kill myself. I choose to shoot up. Right away I feel better.
If only shrinks would prescribe diamorphine as an antidepressants. It may not work on everyone, but people with sever mental illness like bi polar should be allotted diamorphine for the depression. Not so much to get you loaded, just enough to take the edge off. To let you sleep an average amount of time, eat an average amount of food, keep your moods stable. Of course this is all a dream. Perhaps in Amsterdam they will allow this.
When someone is contemplating suicide and has made several real attempts on their own life leaving them with permeate damage to their health, and all other medications are not stopping the mood swings, and suicidal ideations then as a doctor with a dieing cancer patient would, prescribe morphine, dilauded, etc a shrink should be able to prescribe a patient dieing of bi polar, or any other mental health disorder where suicide is a high risk , and the patient is in real pain. Diamorphine, Morphine, Dilauded etc should be a way to treat such a patient. Why physical pain is teated with narcotics, but emotional pain is treated with drugs that even the doctors themselves don't know how they work, or even if they work. Most don't.
Fuck the DEA. Just legalize drugs, and save lives, millions of millions of lives. Not only from suicide, but from violence, gang wars, drug wars etc. This I will never see in my lifetime. People have had the idea that all drugs are killers and that alcohol is okay to use in moderation. Crack, and alcohol are the drugs that cause people to become violent. At least we're getting somewhere with pot.
I just wish that someone would acknowledge that emotional pain is as bad as physical pain, and in many cases causes physical pain. Yet the DEA, keeps doctors from prescribing narcotic medications as needed. Doctors are afraid to get their licence pulled. I have a good doctor and he got his licence to write narcotic prescriptions pulled, because he knew how to teat people with real emotional pain.