I'm still in Yuma Arizona, and I can't find any gear. One would think a border city to Mexico would be full of gear. I can't stop thinking about that bliss gear brings. My eyes are vacant, my body is sluggish, I'm unhappy. Normally I can spot a junky a mile away, but here there are pot heads. Gear users are usually whites between 25 and 35. I know that there are Purto Rican's who have good dope, but since I don't know the city that well, I have no clue where to look.
Yesterday I asked a cabbie to help me find some gear, but he called me back and said he would call me back when he had a chance. He was really busy last night, so I never got a call back. I ended up taking Clonazapam, over the counter sleep meds, and Ambien. Still I woke up at 3:30am and couldn't fall back asleep so I took another Ambien. I ended up having horrible dreams.
Suicide has been plaguing my mind as of late. The only reason I don't do it, is because I have more books in me, and I want to write them and see them in print. The books are shit, but I have words I want to write down. Although I feel wasted, as if I can't bring myself to set a plot, and create characters. If I loose my will to write I will finally do what I've threatened a million, no a trillion times. Fuck it, I just want to sleep eternaly, or go to heaven, or be reborn, whatever happens when you die.
Anyone from Yuma reading this should email me and tell me where I can get gear. That's Heroin to you who aren't in the loop.
Sorry my spell check isn't working. That's all she had to say.