Tuesday, April 19, 2011

In Yuma Arizona visiting my mom, and right around the first day I started using opiates again

The day is going along. The sky is big and blue, the sun bright and overhead. The temperature is in the mid 80's, not a hint of humidity is in the air. I'm in a foul mood. I even took 10mg of Dilauded, and didn't feel a thing aside from no more runny nose, and I stopped yawning every few seconds. A small habit I acquired here in Yuma.

Out by the pool are two very pretty girls, and two little baby girls. One of the girls is the mother of both babies. They have awesome tattoos and I want a tattoo on my shoulder down to where a short sleeve shirt would stop. I would have an underwater picture with a mermaid, and fish, and flowers. I'm almost thirty, I can do what I want to my body. Still I would disappoint my dad if I got a big tattoo. I have two tattoos now. One on my foot of a four leaf clover with my sister Angie's name in it, and a tattoo on my ass of my ex boyfriend Pete's lips. Both are small tattoos. I got the one on my ass done while I was high and drunk, and everyone said I would regret it, but I don't at all.

Tomorrow morning I leave for the airport at 5am. In Wisconsin I have 8 inches of snow to look forward to. I'm used to 80's and 90's, and I'll be going back to 20 degree weather. Poor Eleanor is going to be shocked. I'm suppose to have ten bags of H waiting for me, but the chances that its still there are 50/50. So really I have nothing to look forward to at home. Bad weather, bad, overpriced, dope cut to shit. Hip hip hooray. Plus I have a long flight with three layovers. All with a huge purse, and carring my dog in her bag. I think I'm going to pretend I can't walk and get into a wheel chair, so one of those trolleys comes along they can pick me up and bring me to my gate. Fuck it I can walk. Weight watchers says...walk, walk, walk.

Last night I didn't sleep a wink. I shot up around midnight, and I nodded out, but never really slept. I'll probably sleep good tonight, but I have to get up early, and we have no alarm clock. Well my mom has one on her phone, but what if we don't hear it? Why did I pick a flight that leaves so early. I should have asked my parents to up me to first class. Like that will happen. My parents don't even fly first class. It would be nice on the long flight from San Diego to Minnesota. The rest of my flights are at most a hour.

I don't think anything could pick up my mood right now, aside from a big shot of Heroin. That Mexican tar I got was more potent than the Dilauded I have. Great now I have a tolerance, making the H I "might" have at home even more shitty.

Who doesn't think of themselves as the black sheep of the family? Just wondering. If you do or don't feel like a black sheep tell me why. Leave a comment or if you don't want people to see email me. You can also get my blog emailed to you. Right underneath my picture is a white box and at the right end it says submit, well just put in your email address and click submit. Boom, every time I blog your alerted by email. I like it, I follow a number of blogs this way. BTW Gledwood you should get this fancy button. Many of us would like to know immediately after you blog. Those of us with smart phones, our emails ring on our phones, have it best. When your board you always have a new blog to read. Oh yeah, my email is younganna@ymail.com or younganna1983@gmail.com

Nobody commented under my last post. I guess I just reiterated what everyone thinks, or what most people who read my blog think.


bugerlugs63 said...

hi its bugerlugs63 in case the wreong name comes up again,
I read your reply re my comment on methadone as a blocker (or not)
"I looked up" u say, now y would a "washed up old junkie" (your words) need to do that?
I not got much time recently as i am a real live junkie with 3kids & 8 hamsters;-) but I was catching up on GW the other night, and read, to my utter astonishment, nigh on disbeleif that u had injected in your jugular? now when my ex (iv junky of 25 yrs currently in prison was veinless and reduced to making a hole in his groin that i could (if I so wished) have stuck my finger in. did he not use his jugular?
and why after 200ml of meth a day did he still need half a t (.8g) to get a nod on, obviously the meth was leaving spaces 4 gear, I do not bullshit ,I aint got time, I am 48 hence the 63 in my name, & have lived, when my kids have all grown i might write about my life.
there is nothing glamorous about being a junky or a whore or both! nothing glamorous about rattling and gagging on filthy pricks to get your first hit of the day, or roaming cold lonely streets rattling, wondering if u might die before your next hit.
I dont know y u imagine there is, i can only think its cus u aint never done it.
Can u explain without reverting to literature what a hit in the jugular is like please.
Fantasise all u like about fucking cobain or any other fucked up junkies, but realise that real junkies read gw & your comments and wonder y u fantasise about being in the hell we sometoimes find ourselves in.
so "who isn't, well U aint and u got God to thank 4 that
best wishes

bugerlugs63 said...

my word verify was torood, and maybe i was a bit rood, but it is a subject that angers me (people glorifying being a junky/whore) it aint pretty. so sorry if I was rude but I meant it all x

bugerlugs63 said...

saw your comment at gw, really I am an extremely nice (2 nice som say) person.
I did not at any point question your use of opiates. I did ask why u would need to look up in abook how meth would affect an addict, fair question, and how it goes when u inject your jugular, having never done it myself,they were the only things i questioned and also your thinking that sex 4 drugs is somehow exciting (ie wait till u get to the 2nd half of book where i have sex 4 drugs) if that sold books working girls or ex working girls would be loaded! me included (pre-kids i must add) and it all might have been worth it. I was not being horrible, merely commenting, I have read some really malicious comments in the past on your blog. mine is not one.

Gledwood said...

Good luck with the flight and the china white hopefully waiting for you in all that snow back home. Is it really snowing in Wisconsin? Its irritatingly hot here, about 25C which is about 75F. I wish it was winter Im not at all in a summery mood.

Gledwood said...

did you get the venom? post post post please!

Gledwood said...

so the venom didn't come post again though

why don't you go shopping in chicago? you could go dr shopping or better still find a corner. i heard they sell it off of corners there. just buy the minimum deal to get discount eg if it's 3 for 25 get 3, test it out, come back or go to another corner

we dont have corners here. they call it the front line but the only ones i have ever seen are in brixton by the overground rail station and west end down where tottenham ct rd intersects shaftesbury avenue, also kings cross but all this was crack not heroin i'd never ever buy heroin off a street corner dealer i didn't know in london, you might get lucky with crack but heroin you have to know your dealer

well i'm just rabiting here

hey i have a pet mouse, a wild one in my house it runs right up to my feet it's really cute

Gledwood said...

btw the info on what corners to go is online there's one area where it's proper white heroin sold properly like on the wire with security and everything and another i think that was the north side where it's hispanics selling tar go to the black area and get proper gear, i would i know that tar was nice but tar is shit lets face it you should have more self respect and go colombian. heroin is not black, it is white!