Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Clean

I'm clean as a whistle. No drugs since Sunday. I don't even know why I used on Sunday because I wasn't sick anymore. I'm not sick now. In fact I'm happy. This could because of my mood disorder, but it could also be because I am just happy. I'm not really going to get into my mood here.

Even though I'm happy and without drugs, doesn't mean I'm still not craving them. I'm having using dreams at night and when I take a nap. Always with a huge syringe and needle, and black tar Heroin. Always in my left arm where I used to have a gusher. Its long since dried up, but in my dreams it still gushes. I've also been biting my tongue a lot. I have no idea what that is about. Maybe I just have a huge tongue.

I missed reading Gledwood's blog, but I went through and caught up on his blog. IF you want to read it click here Gledwood's blog. Gledwood's been cleaning his house. Thank the fucking lord. He's also back on antiphyscotic meds. I just wish that me and Gledwood could be happy at the same time, get our shit together and meet already. Life is short, and I'm getting old. I'm almost 30 years old. I want to meet him before I turn 30. I want to at least visit London before I'm 30. Depends on how many copies of my book are sold. As soon as its out I will have a link on my blog for those of you few who want to read it. Wouldn't it be nice if Gledwood and I could both be writers, and do it for a living. That's a rhetorical question geared at me.

My life has been very boring lately. All I've done is clean. The house is spotless now, and I have nothing better to do than update my blog, and chain smoke cigarettes. Which I'm going to go do right now.

Who knows maybe I'll get some dope tonight. Why? I'm happy. Jesus Christ this drug has such a pull over me.
Karma Police

2 comments:

Gledwood said...

Congratulations darling on cleaning up. I'm getting up early to clean up my house some more. I'm avoiding my blog tonight, too depressed to read what anyone's put there. Have to come to it tomorrow. Did you use any more gear? Do you want to use any more gear? Do you ever think you will? I'm not sure I want to touch it again. Waste of time. I'm fed up with it myself.

Valerie said...

Anna Darling!

Well what a miserable load of old sods your friends are. Only one word of congratulations and it had to come from that eejut Gledwood.

You know what shut 'em up? Your honesty. You're meant to bullshit the world about how amazing life is now you're drug-free. Not how bleak and empty and miserable beyond despair you really feel. And you're certainly not supposed to admit you could do with a sneaky little hit tonight!! Take Aunty Val's best advice where drugs are concerned and talk crap, crap, crap. That's what people expect to hear. So just give 'em what they want.

I wouldn't go to London if I were you; I'd go to Paris. Least you know you're not going to bump into that bastard out there.

Well done on kicking the heroin. How on earth did you do it? I only ever managed to kick my drugs when I was chained to the wall in a Burmese jail, and that was 20 years ago. Don't think I'd ever be able to do that now. Probably I'd die before I ever got clean, me.

Good luck on your new life of sobriety, darling. I've got to go. We're down to 10 grams until the next package comes through. And Brucey's grabbing that trowel again. Must run, else I'll miss out. Take care babes

Val

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