Thursday, May 5, 2011

My freind Kaycee, and a song for Gledwood

Last night I got a call from my oldest friend. We've been best friends since third grade. We spent every waking minute together. We were so close, nothing could separate us. Our personalities are very similar. We both have too much empathy for our fellow human beings. We put ourselves last. Kaycee is her name, and she is and always has been very popular. Even though I was her best friend I wasn't popular. Ha, imagine that.

Kaycee and I stuck by each others side until High school started. I started popping pills, drinking, chasing any kind of high to make me feel better about myself. Kaycee always held a place in her heart for me, and saw I was going down the wrong path. She tried to save me a million times, but I wouldn't listen.

Today Kaycee lives in Milwaukee, has a great job, a great rich husband, a beautiful home, she's an aunt, and her sister has another baby on the way. I know she's a great aunt, as she is great with kids. Unlike myself. Don't get me wrong I love babies, but when they get into the two's I get fed up with them. I still love them though. Kaycee is the greatest person in the world, as far as I'm concerned. She doesn't let her wealth change her, She's smart as a whip. Makes me laugh whenever I talk to her.

Kaycee is the same age as me. She has a career, a husband that adores her, money, she goes on vacations all the time, she has a nice car. I should be jealous of her, but I'm not. She deserves everything she's got.

I've had me a poke this morning, as my connection came through. My mood has been enhanced by a chemical. I wonder if I hadn't acquired this addiction if I would be as successful as Kaycee? Where would my life have gone?

Even when me and Kaycee were super close, I had thoughts of suicide. Being the least popular person in our group was hard. Being ugly, stupid, lazy, and always saying the wrong thing makes a person hate themselves. This was always my burden. Kaycee kept me alive when I was sure I was going to kill myself. I never made an attempt on my life until Kaycee and I parted ways in high school. Not until addiction took over my life.

I have to go now. Important things going on. Such as me having a poke.

I'll leave you with a song I find fits me very well. As always I dedicate it to Gledwood

5 comments:

Kaycee said...

Awww you are to sweet! The only thing I can't agree with is that I was popular. We both were popular in our own "world"! Great memories we had together! :)Love you Anna Bell!

Kaycee said...

P.S. I am not wealthy! :)

Valerie said...

Fucking Hell darling, you hang out with normal people?? Tell that Kaycee she's welcome to come down to Melbourne when she gets bored of Central America. I'll supply her with a Chinese Linguaphone; she can interpret what my little shit kids are saying.

WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT??! That scummo Gledwood has STOLEN our highly confidential emails and posted them up on his blog. Breach of copyright!! TAKE THEM DOWN GLEDWOOD OR IM COMING FOR YOU.

PS if my kids don't start behaving I'm showing them that video. Fucking shut them up for a while, that would.

PS I was going to suggest you go to that KC for a small $50,000 loan, considering you seem to be shit-broke, but seeing as she reads your personal emails/blog/thing it's a bit of a waste of my time suggesting it. Gotta go. New Heroin at the door.

(This was sewn into dead goats' carcases, so it should be considerably more hygeinic than the last batch.)

Keep smiling honey

Val

Gledwood said...

I really like that tune btw.

I've totally lost the taste for dance music which reminds me of being high on XTC. Which I only got into again due to being in a naturally heightened state.

Do you think I will ever get manic again?

I only really got manic once. Before that I'd had racing thoughts etc but nothing like full-on mania. Maybe it was a one off just to make me feel more shit about myself than I already do

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Childhood friends are special. I am still out here, reading. I just don't have much to say lately.

Love,

SB