Last night I got a call from my oldest friend. We've been best friends since third grade. We spent every waking minute together. We were so close, nothing could separate us. Our personalities are very similar. We both have too much empathy for our fellow human beings. We put ourselves last. Kaycee is her name, and she is and always has been very popular. Even though I was her best friend I wasn't popular. Ha, imagine that.
Kaycee and I stuck by each others side until High school started. I started popping pills, drinking, chasing any kind of high to make me feel better about myself. Kaycee always held a place in her heart for me, and saw I was going down the wrong path. She tried to save me a million times, but I wouldn't listen.
Today Kaycee lives in Milwaukee, has a great job, a great rich husband, a beautiful home, she's an aunt, and her sister has another baby on the way. I know she's a great aunt, as she is great with kids. Unlike myself. Don't get me wrong I love babies, but when they get into the two's I get fed up with them. I still love them though. Kaycee is the greatest person in the world, as far as I'm concerned. She doesn't let her wealth change her, She's smart as a whip. Makes me laugh whenever I talk to her.
Kaycee is the same age as me. She has a career, a husband that adores her, money, she goes on vacations all the time, she has a nice car. I should be jealous of her, but I'm not. She deserves everything she's got.
I've had me a poke this morning, as my connection came through. My mood has been enhanced by a chemical. I wonder if I hadn't acquired this addiction if I would be as successful as Kaycee? Where would my life have gone?
Even when me and Kaycee were super close, I had thoughts of suicide. Being the least popular person in our group was hard. Being ugly, stupid, lazy, and always saying the wrong thing makes a person hate themselves. This was always my burden. Kaycee kept me alive when I was sure I was going to kill myself. I never made an attempt on my life until Kaycee and I parted ways in high school. Not until addiction took over my life.
I have to go now. Important things going on. Such as me having a poke.
I'll leave you with a song I find fits me very well. As always I dedicate it to Gledwood