Today I go in to Weight Watchers and get weighed in. I think I lost about three pounds. Which would put me down to under 170lbs. I need to buy new clothes, because all my clothes are too big on me. Plus I need summer clothes. I don't have any money to spare this month, so I can't buy any clothes. I also have to mail my dad's pills down to him. So I have to get to the post office before noon, when they close. I'll be glad when those pills are out of my sight. They just seem to call my name. Even though I have dope right now, I want to rely on those pills when I run out.
On Thursday I go to the Methadone clinic. I won't be going to the one in Green Bay, but the one in Appelton WI. The clinic in Green Bay wouldn't let me back in unless I completed a 90 day in patient treatment. I hope nothing happens to me before Thursday. I'm scared that I'll end up in jail again. God help me.
I know I was miserable on Methadone for those four or five years I was on it, but this time I'm not going above 30mgs. I might go sick for a while, but my body will get used to only 30mgs of Methadone. I'm also worried about gaining weight back. With Weight Watchers, I've changed my eating habits. I also work out now days. As soon as I get on the Methadone I'm going to go back to water aerobics. I still walk on the treadmill three to four times a week. Plus I walk Eleanor(my dog) every day. Some days for a couple of hours. So I've made lifestyle changes, which should keep me loosing the weight. I must admit the junky diet works really well. I loose weight a lot faster when I go sick.
I'm embarrassed that I wrote that sex scene yesterday. Ah, who cares. I'm sure if some guy reads it he'll get a little excitement out of it. Like Brucey, Valaire's husband. I guess he reads it on the toilet, and when he was done the key board was all sticky. Hmm, wonder what he did while reading it?
I think Eleanor is depressed. She misses my dad. So I've got to go, and smoke a cigarette.