Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Book editor lies to me

So I'm totally out of Heroin now. I used up my last shot a few hours ago. Right now I'm sure I can go cold turkey, get all this shit out of my system. Yet I know as soon as I wake up tomorrow I'll be counting the hours until my Methadone clinic appointment is. I do have some Methadone that I bought on the black market, but its not going to last me very long. If I could just ween myself off that way I'd be fine.

I really don't want to go back on Methadone. Same with Suboxone. Come on for the first time in years I want to be truly clean. Most who read this blog, know I never have wanted to be totally clean before. I've always envisioned using on the side. It turns out I can't just keep a chip, I'm either full blown strung out, or I'm on Methadone and or Suboxone.

As far as my mood, I can't really tell you what my true mood is, because I'm high. This morning when I woke up before a poke, I was depressed. My usual depressed self. I cry because of anything, even when high. I'm going to be having a tough time coming up in the next few days, and I'm scared. Thank God, I don't have to put on a brave face for anyone. For Eleanor I have to be somewhat active. I have to take her outside every morning to go potty.

The editor emailed me today, and said I'm very honoured to have edited a book by such a young talented woman such as yourself. I scoffed, thanks for lying. I read the book, I fucking wrote the book. I know I have bad grammar. I know I'm definitely not a young talented woman.

I wish Gledwood would comment on my blog. I miss him, its been two days since I've opened my laptop. I was ungodly high for two full days. Got to go, I just got an email. Perhaps its Gledwood.

2 comments:

Boomer said...

Yo man, dis Boomer. Why u goin strung out yo ho. U come down here I give u nuff shit to see u thru till yo dad's new pain prescription. U suk my cockie, I give you a half a G venom. Jus fly down Yuma way, dat free venom waitin 4 ya. Well worth dat plane fare. I got chocolate fudge sauce an chocolate cheerios ready an waitin. You know what dem fuckers for. My meat be throbbin in anticipation of yo hot lips, baby. Mmmmm.

Yors

B

Gledwood said...

Do you truly want to go clean? You're kind of sounding like you're wanting that more.

If I could press a magic button suddenly to be 100% clean and never use again I'd definitely push it now. Probably wouldn't have a few years ago. Would have gone for the button next to it on the Magic Console that gives you an inexhaustable supply of gear and all the accoutrements for injecting it, as well as indestructable lifelone veins!

... hey what am I saying. Probably an idiot like me would go for option 2 still...!

Did the editor actually do any editing on your book? It's not terrible btw I was rivettedby the story of the bit that I read...