Today I was ungodly dope sick. I no longer steal my dad's pills, so I went and bought ten measely mgs of methadone to try to take the edge off. Its not working. My friend was suppose to get a bag today, but he had to wait for his boss to call to get money to buy the dope. His boss never called.
Yesterday on the other hand the dealer came over to my friend's house while I was there and was cutting the dope. He gave us a lot of dope. Me and my friend shared a bag, and as soon as I hit my vein and pushed the H into my blood stream I was out of it. I hit my head on the floor from falling over after nodding out. It seems like the high didn't last as long as usual, unless I was out of it for, four hours and didn't remember the time passing which is vilely possible.
Aside from my drug use, God I wish I would have never found God in a needle. Perhaps I've found Satan in a needle, and he's lead me astray.I'm feeling like the loser I know that I am. If only I could find the courage to off myself.
I've been thinking of getting a job. Something to supplement my income and buy more dope. Maybe Appleton Methadone clinic will take me in. Green Bay said no, but they told me to try the Appleton one. Why they would not allow me back at my local clinic, but allow me to go to Valley Health services clinic.
Ahh, I never got a royality check. I don't get one until September. As far as I know I sold 300 some books. I lied because I feeling bad about myself, and thought if I told you readers that I sold a ton of books and made a bunch of money, that I would feel better, then I went on and defended my lie. All I can say is I'm a lier. The only true thing in my blog is my addiction. I do weigh 150lbs, but I don't wear a size six, I wear a size 8-9 depending on the brand. I can fit my ass into a size six, but like a commenter said they are bursting at the seams. Well that feels good, no more lies to keep up.
All my freinds who have bought the book have been facebooking me and telling me "how good they think the book is". I know they realize the book is written like a idiot with a pen. Its so embarrassing. Here on my blog I'm not too embarrassed how I write, after all most of you hate me. I did get a comment from some anon saying he was madly in love with me. Knowing my readers it was just someone fucking with me. I know I'm unloveable. I lie, I steal, I use drugs, I live off the government, I'm a shitty writer. The list could go on and on.
I've got something interesting to tell you, about a lie I'm telling my family, but unfourtany I can't write about it on here for fear of familywould read it, and my cover would be blown.
If this person is really madly inlove with me, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
If its just another anon just fucking with me, well thanks for once leaving a comment that didn't make me feel like shit. I hope Gledwood isn't jelous as he is my cyber husband. Perhaps it was Gledwood proclaiming his love for me in anon form. I doubt it, he would just email me it.
There is a fly attacting me right now. It true they are attracted to shit.
Well this was a shitty post. Hope you enjoy some of it.