Yesterday I was just about to be clean two full days, until I went into my drawer where I keep my works, and found a rather large peice of heroin. Here heroin comes in chunks like rock cocain, but its brown...most of the time. So I shot up that chunk and got a good buzz. The night before I didn't sleep because of withdrawl, so after the H kicked in I fell asleep for 18 hours. I watched a movie first. BTW, there is this actor Joe Anderson who looks identical to Kurt Cobain. I wonder if he'll play him in the bio pic?
Today I'm going to be clean, I have no money and no prospects for money. I don't mind being sick that much anymore. Its just apart of being a stupid junkie. Also I'm in a up swing mood wise. Mania bring it on. I love you. You make me less sick, happy, feel like love is in my life. I don't want to kill myself for once in a long time. I know a crash willl come, but fuck it I'm happy now. I went off my meds, to bring on a manaia. I knew it was my meds keeping me down. I need a med adjustment, but thats unlikely because I'm moving to North Carolina. Leaving Friday for the drive down there. I wonder if I'll find an H hook up?
If I do all junkies rejoice. Otherwise I can Doctor shop in NC, or go back to the Methadone clinic.