Tuesday, August 30, 2011

In Greenville NC

I'm in Greenville North Carolina. We left Friday at 5am. Leaving Green Bay WI behind, along with my heroin connections was painful. The last time I got high was on Thursday night. Now I'm down in the dumps from depression from withdrawal. I feel like I can't put one foot in front of the other.

On our way down here we stopped in Memphis TN, to see Graceland. You know, where Elvis lived. While there I just wished I was high so I could enjoy it. I'm so pathetic I can't enjoy anything with out some heroin for liquid courage. Liquid life. Anyway, Graceland was a lot smaller than shown on TV. Its a real tourist attraction. Head phones and everything to give the tour. Of course you weren't allowed upstairs in the bathroom where Elvis died.

When I go to Seattle I want to see the house that Courtney and Kurt lived in. I know they tore down the garage with the green room above it where he killed himself, but some of his ashes are under a tree there.

Greenville is pretty fucking boring. Although we did get a nice apartment with two swimming pools. A dog run, work out rooms. Its almost like our condo in Green Bay. One thing nice I can say about Greenville is that it smells really good. I think all of the mid south of America smells good. Really grassy.

The only reason I am able to blog right now is because I found some of my dad's percocets and am feeling a bit better. I'm setting up an appointment to get into the methadone clinic. I know I hated the Methadone clinic last time I was on it, but I've had enough of using. I just want to be happy, to put one foot in front of the other.

We don't get to move into these new apartments until Saturday, so right now we are in a small hotel room. It has a separate bedroom for me, but its ultra small. Poor Eleanor hates it. I think we all do. Fuck I can actually smile now that the pills are kicking in.

I haven't been able to read my blogs, so I'm lost on everything. I miss my dearest Gledwood most. He's on an upswing, while I'm down in the dumps. I just want to get on this Methadone, get moved into the nice apartment, swim, workout, play with Eleanor. Methadone is my great mood stabilizer. I wish it worked like that for Gleds.

Oh yes, and how could I go by without mentioning my book, now available for ebooks, only 7.99 on Barns and noble.com or bn.com. Normally it would be 9.99. Its also available on Amazon.com for Kindle. I know who cares.

Just wanted to let you all know I'm thinking of you. I love my readers. This blog has gone to hell. When I'm on dope I'm not blogging and when I'm off dope I'm not blogging. I just can't bring myself to blog. I can't put words in a beautiful way. It makes me sick how horrible my blog is. My book too for that matter. Still buy it. I need money to get to Seattle.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm not too far from you. Sent you a facebook invite, but apparently you weren't interested. Too bad- you're missing out on some great east coast dope.

Anna Grace said...

I didn't get your facebook invite. I've accepted all invites I've gotten. I don't know who you are, bit if you get this email me at youngnna@ymail.com

I'm very interested in east coast dope. Fuck call me 920-660-5231

Gledwood said...

I feel OK on the methadone now. It still makes my mood swing horrendously compared to the heroin but that's nice (only when it goes up obviously).

I feel really freakin' weird today, I'm putting it down to the Fall. Which we only ever call Autumn here.

I hope you are OK and get to a methadone clinic if you need one.

Gledwood said...

Are you into magic mushrooms? Apparently the hurricane caused a BUMPER CROP!!!

http://thepoormouth.blogspot.com/2011/08/more-magic-mushrooms-after-hurricane.html

I used to adore mushies. Before I got hooked on heroin that was. I used to go clubbing on a Hippieflip which is Ecstasy+Shrooms and I loved it. Probably it turned me schizo-affective but it was fun at the time.

Anonymous said...

The term "liquid courage" refers to alcohol.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Glad you made it to NC safe and sound.

BMelonsLemonade said...

My advice is to not get on the clinic. You have already gone several days without. And you are in a strange place, where you do not know anyone. Take the opportunity to make new aquaintances that are not into dope. Take this opportunity TO GET AWAY FROM IT. Kick it out for a week, and then start working out again. And take some classes...and do not associate with people who are into drugs, at least for a while. Take a break. Do not go get on methadone when you have mostly kicked anyway. Do not go meet a bunch of new addicts at the clinic. Take a week. Kick. And start fresh...when I meet new people, and they find out I don't drink, they usually never even mention anything else, almost like they are scared I wont approve. Maybe take that tactic...do not just go out and meet people who do dope...the inevitable end is always the same. Take it from me, Anna.

elizabeth said...

Sounds right to me B Melons!

Gledwood said...

Yeah B Melons is right. It's quite something to be 100% drug free no matter how reluctantly. I wish I could manage it. But my clinic won't even reduce my methadone which "sucks" to use the American.

Try not to take any more gear or methadone if you can. It's only a glamorous prison. Then the glamour wares off and it's just prison...

Gledwood said...

2 swimming pools is not at all bad. You get 2 swimming pools with the new apartment? How come 2? Is one indoor and one out? What are they like? Which is best? Does anybody use them? Full report please, as soon as you get there and outta that hotel!

Lori said...

Congrats on making to to the south. I have a very good friend who left Baltimore and moved to N.Carolina to get clean and, it worked...The one thing I noticed in the south is that when I lived in Georgia they called it the 3 ps. Pot,pills and powder. Heroin wasn't very popular there. Methamphetamine seems to be the drug of choice down there. Use this as an opportunity to make the most of a new situation. Methadone works for alot of people, only you know what you need. Like the previous comment-er, try just one week and see how it goes. Congrats on getting published. Enjoy the sweet tea of the south..

Anonymous said...

I want some

Anna Young said...

We all want some.

Anonymous said...

But where do we get it?