On Friday I began Methadone treatment again. Haven't touched a needle since Thursday, even though my dose is so low I'm still sick, and having intense cravings. I was started at 30mgs, and will be upped 5mgs every three days. Standard practice here in America. My moods have evened out. Unlike Gledwood who went coo coo for coco puffs when he went off heroin and onto Methadone.
Heroin stabilized me when I was using, but it was expensive and I could only use one bag a day, which wasn't enough to keep me stable. I woke up sick every morning, and had to scramble every day for the money to get a bag. Coming up with that money was quite a task, and I ended up doing things for money I never thought I would do again. Things like sleeping with drug dealers, stealing checks from my parents, using all my SSI money for dope. Doing shows for men, which means dancing and getting naked sometimes giving a hand job.
Now that I'm on Methadone, I'm giving all my SSI checks to my parents, for rent, and all other expenses incurred by my living with them. I'm getting a job at a vets office. It will only be a couple days a week, and sometimes spending the night attending to the animals who just had surgery. I do love animals, and think this job will be a good fit. Plus it will get me out of the house once in a while, without going to see my using friends.
I'm also back to reading a book every day or two. I never read the Client before, and am finding very entertaining. Its taking me more than a day to read though. I've also read all the Charles Burkouski books I can find. Man is he a dirty old man, or was a dirty old man. Sorry if I'm spelling his name wrong, I'm too lazy to go to my room and look at the correct spelling.
I got a call from my marketing consultant about my book. Apparently I'm not selling very well, and they want me to do promotions. The set me up with a reading at a book store called the attic. They also want me to pay 500 some dollars to put my book in the New York review to perhaps be picked up by a traditional publisher. I don't know if I want to waste the money, as I know, no publisher in their right mind would pick up my book. Its crushing to know something you worked so hard on isn't selling. Just goes to show I'm terrible writer, and have no talent in my pathetic life.
Ha, ha, you asshole Anon can't put me down even more.