Wednesday, October 26, 2011

If you want something don't hesitate to ask someone else

Anonymous if you haven't noticed by now my spelling is atrocious. Still you understand what I'm saying. Do you think Rimbaud the greatest poet to ever live (in my eyes) spelled everything correctly? I sure don't. I'm reading the book Heroin and the thing must not have been edited because every five words in the book is spelled wrong. My book on the other hand was edited and done so mighty finely. So if you want to dis my spelling go ahead and do so.

On to other topics I lost three pounds thanks to hard work, and not eating all the candy bars I crave so much. That's a big dent in ten pounds I gained back on the methadone. Since starting methadone I can't cum any longer. If I remember correctly it took like two years for my ability to cum came back, and when I first started to be able to cum again I would piss while cumming. At least I don't have a libido, and not being able to cum is such a big deal.

Today I woke up at 3:30am, made myself some coffee, sat in the recliner and watched CBS news up to the minute until I feel asleep again sitting up and drooling on myself. I woke up again at 5am because I herd my mom get up. She's always happy with me when I make the coffee before she gets up.

At 5ish I got ready to go to the clinic. We are not allowed to wear our PJ's to the clinic (stupid rule) So I get all dressed up for my hour there while I read my nook looking good. P.S. I got the job at Green Bay vet clinic. I only be working on day a week, staying overnight with the animals who had surgery the day before. I have to do some training to recognize the signs that there is a problem, and if I can solve the problem myself or have to call the Dr. in. I get paid minimum wage, and don't work over 10 hours a week, so they can't take away from my SSI. So far the haven't bothered my about the check I got for my book sales. I don't get another check for three more monhts. Which should be a bit bigger than the first check I got, because it take up to three months for Amazon, and Barns and Noble and all other web sites who sell books to get their numbers in. The fist books I got a check for were the books I sold on the publisher's web site.

After December's check I doubt I will get any checks at all. Unless I get a literary agent to get me in a true publishing house. I have one other book I'm going to send around to agents to see if I can get a book really published. I know this will take years. I hope to have a real publishing house pick up on of my books before I'm 38 years old.

Wait back to the beginning I wouldn't say Rimbaud was my fav poet, I really love Allen Ginsberg, and Jack Kerouac ( I never spell that right) yet you get the just. I love the beat poets. I also love Walk Whitman, and many, many more.

When I left for the clinic it was raining cats and dogs, and thundering and lightning. I still got there in the normal 15 mins. it takes me to get there. As always when I leave for the clinic its dark out. I like getting up at the butt crack of dawn.

I'm begging to think I'm going to be a spinster. I don't like the bar scene, and all the guys who respond to my profile on are either damn, ugly, or only interested in sex. Believe me I'm not being to picky, Ive gone out with a couple of them and boy did those dates blow. It was when I was fat, so would email them a photo of me naked so they knew what they were getting into. Yet I told them they were not get getting sex on the first date.

Right now I'm imagining blood blossoming into a syringe, and its getting me off. Not sexually, just in a feel good way. I miss the needle. I wish we could inject our Methdone. I'm not sure if I should capitalize Methadone or not? Anyway the imagination of  blossoming in the syringe.

As far as my book goes, people like a happy ending, and I didn't leave them with a terrible ending, but not a happy one either. Reminder to self always end a book on a happy note. My second manuscript I put in a happy ending.


eyelick said...

Eye want rain. Damn desert.

Don't they have injectable methadone in Europe somewhere? Wonder how helful it is to people who are pretty much "over it (heroin)" except the needle part.

Beth said...

You did spell Kerouac correctly. I like the way your blog reads when unedited. Its like stream of consciousness. Good stuff.

Gledwood said...

You can get injectable methadone in the UK but usually only from private drs. They used to give it out on the NHS in some clinics in the 1990s which annoys me because I could have done really well on that.

Our clinics are run through ordinary pharmacies (ie drugstores) that only open at 8 or 9am and you'd really get stared at in pajamas!