Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Well, I'm allowing anon commenter's again.

Well, I'm allowing anon commenter's again. I'm in a good place and I can take the harassment. Plus I'm not getting many comments from commenter's.

Other than that, I don't have much to say, so I'll tell you what's going on in my mundane life.
Every morning I get up around 4:30am to 5:30am and I leave at 5:45am to go to the methadone clinic. I sit and read while wait for my number to be called so I can go dose. I drive home as fast as I can so I can watch the Today show. I lay on the couch with Eleanor, who sometimes licks my teeth. Yes I do brush before she licks and after she licks. She also licks inside my belly button, which my parents think is very gross.

Around 10am my methadone kicks in and I'm tired, so I fight sleep, and bring my Eleanor outside to go potty and smell around. Its fall now, so I like it outside, it smells really good. When Eleanor and I come back into the house I read until I can't help but fall asleep. I always end up dropping my book always loosing my page, I also often drop a cigarette and burn the book and blankets on my bed. When I wake up I go back to my book, or write a post here on my blog.

 I stopped eating snickers, and other candy bars. I knew I had to stop or I would hit the 200lbs mark before I knew it. Now when I get a sweet craving I eat a fiber one bar only 90 calories.


After I finish reading some more after I've woken up from my two to three hour nap, Then I finish wirting my journal if I fell asleep before I was done writing. When I'm done writing in my journal, then its time for me to watch some TV. I watch the ID channel which has a bunch of 48 hours mystery's, and Dateline Mystery's one after another, all day and all night. I've always loved a good mystery. I often take cat naps, and wake up craving candy. I have to smoke a cigarette, and drink a diet coke to get rid of the urge to eat cand. Fucking methadone causing surgar cravings. I've Googled, asked my  doctor, and the nurses at the clinic, and no-one can tell me why methadone makes people crave sugar so much. Its an intense craving, almost as intense as the cravings I get when I'm not on MMT for opiates.

As a matter of fact, a lot of things changed in my body after being on methadone for a significant amount of time. My thyroid is now slow, I don't have regular periods, I only poop twice a week, (I like to think that accounts for at least 20lbs of my body weight) I sleep all the time, I'm always lethargic. I'm lost in a world of apathy. So much so, I only shower weekly. If you catch me on a good week, I've showered twice. I wish I had the guts to chop my hair and bleach it, so nobody would notice when I haven't showered or brushed my hair in week. When you bleach your hair, it becomes really dry, and takes a lot longer to get greasy than natural hair. I can say my hair is super healthy. Not washing it all the time and stripping it of all its natural oiles. When I do brush it, I use a paddel brush, and bush all those natural oils at the top of my head to the ends of my hair. My hair is super long, so when I brush it, it seems like I'm loosing tons of hair. I might be loosing my hair because of my thyroid. When I get paranoid I am, my mom tells me, it just looks like a lot of hair, because its so long, and because I don't comb it everyday.
Then around 8pm I'm in bed, I turn on the IFC or Sundance channel and watch independant movies.

My life is boning. '

2 comments:

Maureen said...

Sweetie,
Makes me smile to know you are doing well! I'm told no 1 size fits one! Referring to your dose that is 100% true! Have you ever checked out the NAMA recovery site?
www.methadone.org
Not sure who is the rep is in your state though.
Anyway kiddo, take care & keep on writing.
Need to read somemore now. Check out the www.methadone.org. Knowledge is power!!!
Love,
Maureen

Anonymous said...

so glad you allowed my anonymous post about four blog posts ago???? i didn't wanna attach my name to that (i'm not ashamed or embarrassed or whatever, but right now i'm lying low on google...i'll explain later) but you do know me, i'm a loyal reader of yours :)