Anonymous you are right my book is just a ton of grammar errors. So I got to thinking. Why? Why didn't the editor do his job. Fix my shitty grammar. So I took my Blackberry and called the publishing house. I asked, "why"? They sent me to speak with the editor. I did what any red blooded woman would do. I called him crying. Why? Why? Please tell me why? This is what bullshit answer he gave me. "If I cleaned up your grammar the book would have lost its tone. It would have turned into my book. " There is SO many grammar errors in my book that my book would not be my book anymore.
You want to know what I did. I went to Barns and Noble and got every book I could find on grammar. Two books. Grammar for idiots. Which I thought most appropriate. Then when Bad Grammar happens to good People. Then I found this other book, How to read like a writer. Which I Promise to read after I finish my two grammar books, and understand what grammar is, and why its so damn important!!
I googled books with bad grammar. Which book should show up, but Catcher in the Rye. A book most English teachers would scoff at had it not been a classic. In no way am I comparing my book to Catcher in the Rye. That would be like comparing Steven King to Edger Allen Poe. Still to good. Steven King I will admit is a prolific writer. I just don't like his books. I read this series of his books, the tower something. In one of the books he actually spent three sentences describing a fucking shoelace. It had nothing to do with the plot.
I must admit I haven't gotten to into my grammar books just yet. But...wait. I have a cup of coffee, a bottle of Adderal, and a coke in front of me. I'm going to start my grammar lessons...soon!! First I have to finish my pleasure book. One Day, which has taken me three days to read.
I'm going to get so good at grammar, you won't know its me who's writing this blog. I promise!