Tuesday, November 8, 2011

My shitty lovely grammar!!!

Anonymous you are right my book is just a ton of grammar errors.  So I got to thinking. Why?  Why didn't the editor do his job. Fix my shitty grammar.  So I took my Blackberry and called the publishing house. I asked, "why"?  They sent me to speak with the editor.  I did what any red blooded woman would do. I called him crying.  Why? Why? Please tell me why? This is what bullshit answer he gave me. "If I cleaned up your grammar the book would have lost its tone. It would have turned into my book. "  There is SO many grammar errors in my book that my book would not be my book anymore.

You want to know what I did. I went to Barns and Noble and got every book I could find on grammar. Two books. Grammar for idiots. Which I thought most appropriate. Then when Bad Grammar happens to good People. Then I found this other book, How to read like a writer. Which I Promise to read after I finish my two grammar books, and understand what grammar is, and why its so damn important!!

I googled books with bad grammar. Which book should show up, but Catcher in the Rye. A book most English teachers would scoff at had it not been a classic. In no way am I comparing my book to Catcher in the Rye. That would be like comparing Steven King to Edger Allen Poe. Still to good. Steven King I will admit is a prolific writer. I just don't like his books. I read this series of his books, the tower something. In one of the books he actually spent three sentences describing a fucking shoelace. It had nothing to do with the plot.

I must admit I haven't gotten to into my grammar books just yet. But...wait. I have a cup of coffee, a bottle of Adderal, and a coke in front of me. I'm going to start my grammar lessons...soon!! First I have to finish my pleasure book. One Day, which has taken me three days to read.

I'm going to get so good at grammar, you won't know its me who's writing this blog. I promise!

6 comments:

lilly said...

anna my blog too is full of grammar and bad spelling. but it comes with being a drug addict. im always in such a hurry to type what i am feeling before i forget it that my posts are shocking. i love ur blog and just because you are offering it as a book for sale doesnt mean it has to be perfect. after all, to have the guts to post ur story is enough for me. xoxo lilly. p.s. nobody beats my blogs bad typing. lol

lilly said...

im a loyal reader of ur blog also now. i tell it like it is and people dont like it the truth. they dont realise addicts are just as capable of blending into a normal career and family life. what they dont realise is that if us drug addicts didnt exist, every profession from cops to doctors to counsellors, chemists, judges, lawyers etc wouldnt be needed...plus jails who employ co's and others wouldnt be needed. xoxo.lilly. look forward to ur next post

May Witzmann said...

A step in the right direction.
Spelling and grammar are easy to study.
You tell your stories well and grammar and spelling do hinder the reading. A book without the irritating errors will make it much easier to read.
I know once you have mastered this, you can be a better book seller.

Anonymous said...

Where's Gledwood?

Gledwood said...

I don't remember grammar errors in your book. Just a colloquial style and what's wrong with that. Like I said before you want to look at the world's top selling authors and you'll see that not one of them writes in "literary" English. They all write their own version of "midwestern prose" ~ middle English, middle American, wherever they are from. If you want a good style guide Readers Digest used to publish one called The Right Word At The Right time. It taught me a lot...

Tatyanna (and Dorian too) said...

shaking my head over that editor (i hate writing text-y things like "smh", haha)...maybe that's his ridiculous cop-out for sucking at his job; i'm sure he thinks he's very clever saying patronizing shit like that to writers. i happen to have a degree in english language and linguistics... i am willing to help you out if you ever want to ask me or send me something to proof. it will NOT have grammar or spelling errors, i can promise :) it's like the ONE thing i'm good at in this world...