Sunday, November 20, 2011

This human form in which I was born. I now repent.

I don't know if you remember my blog about Justin Rose. A guy I had a affair with about 6 years ago. Maybe more. Well he found me on Facebook. I was excited, I thought he wanted to see me. Instead he wanted me to hook him up with my dealer. He had just gotten off Suboxone, and was sick.

I had looked him up like six months ago, on facebook, but  could not find him. He didn't create a profile untl June. In June I was in the midst of drug addiction. I no longer cared about finding him.

Justin is now a father to, two beautiful babies. He's a single father. He says he wants to be friends. I want to be more than friends. He doesn't text me unless he wanted drugs. I figured out he was using me for a hook up. I was the one doing the texts asking him questions, telling him how I feel about him. I don't think he's over his children's mother.

Thank goodness he got back on Subs. I was worried about him. I'm not texting him everyday or anything like that. Every now and then I will ask him how he's doing. Right now I just texted him and asked if he wanted to go see a movie, with his children. He's a big sports fan, and the Green Bay packers are playing today, so I'm betting he will say no. Is it too forward to invite a guy and his kids to movie?

I really like Justin. He's smart, funny, dark, introverted. Great taste in music. He does have a violente streak. I don't know if having babies has melowed him out at all.

Should I just butt out of his life?

I'm still working on my grammar workbooks. I'm writing this rather fast, not thinking about where comma's, and weather I should use who or whom.

Dude's I just want to get laid, perhaps have a child of my own someday. Not saying I want Justin's baby. Not saying I'm ready for a baby just yet. Still my clock is ticking.

20 comments:

elizabeth said...

GEEZ Anna! No, you DO NOT need to get started with him. He already has a huge load of problems of his own, why would you want to get involved with that? You have maybe? just begun to take care of some of your own issues. If you do you are just asking for more heartache, stress, and even violence in your life. (you said that he has hx of same). Anna this would be a huge mistake, don't do it and I say that with love.

Gledwood said...

Follow your heart!

bugerlugs63 said...

Anna,
What a difference in the writing - so much easier to read. No kidding. Not sure about Justin. If the only time he gets in touch is for a score and says he only wants to be friends . . . That kinda says it all? Like you say he's probably still into his ex. You don't want to be second best to no-one. Nor be doing all the chasing. Not good for self esteem those things.
If it is just a matter of getting laid I think someone with less com plications, who's gonna make you feel good about yourself would be more satisfying and more fun.
I don't think it's too forward to invite them to a movie, but if he's saying "only friends" then it probably means only friends. Personally I'd try elsewhere ;-)

Gledwood said...

I just read Elizabeth's comment. But he actually sounds quite stable. If he's allowed to look after his own kids he can't be too bad a junkie. And he is on Subutex/Suboxone/whatever it's called these days. I've found people on Subutex are the stablest of all, because it's not doping like an ordinary opiate.

So did you ask him out Anna DO TELL!!

elizabeth said...

I absolutely stand by my initial opinion. Relationships are difficult enough without beginning one with so many negatives already in place.

eyelick said...

If he's just into using you and has a "history of violence" eye don't find it very advisable.

Adrianna said...

Anna non wast you time.This guy sound like a loozer. You non need a man.
Why have man to take you money for?For what?
You non need this.Forget about him.
If you wan man have a good reson.Maybe rich man.

Gledwood said...

Adriana is spot-on as per usual. Nice on Adriana ~ why you non leave comments at my place no more you bad person

Gledwood said...

oh come on man it's been about 3 weeks post something new!

Valerie said...

oh post something new sugar tits, that Gledwood keeps emailing me thinking I'm you, wanting to read more of your intimate confessions. Please get me off the hook baby and post some more. Me blackberry is driving me crazy with it's vibrating and bleeping!

Gledwood said...

post again

Anonymous said...

How about if you work on weather and whether?
"..and weather I should use who or whom".

Did you really use weather???

gg

Adrianna said...

I like know what you doing now?
Write more books oh paypals? Maybe you went on honeymoon with you freind?

Valerie said...

Did you go on a HONEYMOON honeybuns? Who's the lucky boy then? DO TELL!

Boomer said...

What yo doin gettin married yo ho. Yo belong me me. Me and my tar connection in the deep south!

Gledwood said...

If you're passionate about writing, leave a fucking comment at my place once in a while. Come on girl what's happening with you??

Maureen said...

Yes, Anna Grace, where are you? Guess, I am not the only person wondering about you!!
Anna, try posting atleast I am alive and well. Possibly, thanks for wondering about me, what about Gledwood, Anna?
Praying you are doing ok & just busy getting ready for Christmas!
Blessings,
Maureen

Gledwood said...

Come and have a look at this blog

Gledwood said...

http://mymethdiaries.blogspot.com

Gledwood said...

Come on post again post again what the FUCK is wrong with you girl???!!?

Hey you haven't got an especially funkky attack of bipolar mania have you??

I haven't been manic since August. Kinda depressing really...