Friday, February 10, 2012

Throw down your umbical nuce so I can hang myself

(a + b) (a - b)  =  a2-b2 + 1

Above is an absurdity, because no solution exist. I've immersed myself in difficult equations, I understand very little, and am just getting acquainted with mathematical symbols. I love to look at websites that show equations and the solutions, with the work to show how they achieved that solution. It is very stimulating. Perhaps I can get better at mathematics than writing I will have new form of stimulation. Since I suck at writing, and so far really suck at mathematics, unfortunately I'm self aware enough to know I have zero talent in any field.

I'm starting to get an enough awareness of equations I can now follow interesting books about science, such as string theory, and loop theory.

I'm always so much more productive when I'm on methadone, and not abusing benzos or heroin or
even crack.

I've been thinking about my book, and how it ends so abruptly, not really explaining how I turned myself in and did my time in jail, how I got right back on methadone straight out of jail because I was facing another charge in a different county and I was sure I was going to get probation, so I got the "done" because I didn't want to even chance a relapse and more jail. Plus I was so young when I wrote that book, am still rather young. So I'm going to go through my journals for the past almost 3 years since where I finished the book. A lot has happened. Nut houses, suicide attempts, relapses, living in a homeless shelter, letting a guy live with me who ended up coming armed robbery. Now I'm back in Honolulu which always yields tons of material.

Working title another rip of from Kurt Cobain and Nirvana: Look on the Bright side Suicide


xo lilly (my life unspoken) said...

glad to see ur back again. ignore the haters and be yourself....xo lilly

Gledwood said...

Yeah your book definitely ended abruptly I tried to tell you that at the time. You say you got diagnosed bipolar then say nothing about bipolar disorder you could surely get half a book just by writing about manic episodes!

I don't get the equations stuff. Never did though.

So how is Hawaii? Tell us some more!

Fuck You Lucy said...

A serious question: Do you still want to die?

Anna Grace said...

not at the moment, but that can change in a moment notice.

Gledwood said...

How much methadone are you on at the moment?

I'm down to 45mg soon to go down to 40.

I hate methadone!

Post something else please.

PS I saw someone get stung by a box jellyfish on Waikiki beach on television, so be careful out there! And be careful of all that gunky tar. Is it "better" because it's harder for the dealers to put rubbish in it~??

Anonymous said...

please post some sexy teasing pics... i am curious if you can pull it off. pretty please