Monday, June 25, 2012

An explination of my Adderal script, how it works with my bi polar diagnosis.

The title says I will explain my Adderal script and how it works with my bi polar disorder. It should say I will attempt to explain, with my limited knowledge of chemistry how my Adderal script works with the counter indication to not use such a drug, being diagnosed bi polar.

First off I will answer Gledwood's questions asked in the comment section of previous post when I mentioned I would be again using Adderal, but at a different release rate, and a different dosage. I should explain to those of you who have no background information about me. I have sever bi polar disorder, (also known as manic depression) and I'm a heroin addiction currently not actively using heroin because I am on methadone maintainece treatment. (aka MMT) In the past I was prescribed
Adderal XR,  (which means it is released slowly into the circulatory system and the affects last longer) the Adderal was at a high dosage (30mg) BID. (twice daily) I should probably explain what exactly Adderal is. Essentially it is an Amphetamine known on the street as "speed". My medication bottle from the pharmacy literally says, "Amphetamine-Dextoamphetamin". I'm not just on Adderal I'm on a number of medication for my mental illness. Lexapro 20mgs which is an antidepressant, Lamictal 200mg which is a mood stabilizer, and Clonazapam 1mg BID which is an anti anxiety medication, along with aforementioned Methadone 90mg, (I recently went up 5mg) I was at 85mg.

When I was Adderal XR 30mg BID last time it tended to make my mental illness worse. My moods swings were much more intense and much more frequently than before I began taking the Adderal. Now here is where the chemistry and biology come in, and I'm not at all well versed with either studies. To my knowledge, the reason the Adderal was causing so many problems with my mental health is because, Adderal works on the same receptors in the brain that the antidepressant works on. Adderal is a man made chemical that is naturally released in the brain when you are happy, and stimulated. The antidepressant I'm on because theoretically my brain is not natural producing enough serotonin which is only one of the chemicals the brain produces that works on the brain like Adderal. Theoretically antidepressants help the body to naturally produce serotonin and other such chemicals that make "normal" people who are not depressed, and not maniacs stay that way. So my best guess is the Adderal floods the brain with these chemicals like serotonin that make you feel good, and when the Adderal floods the brain with these chemicals it kicks all the natural chemicals that the antidepressants helped create out and replaces them with these quick acting man made chemicals. Which means when the Adderal wears off I come down hard and stay down longer because my brain doesn't naturally produce the chemicals the brain needs to stabilize and feel "normal", which is causing the antidepressant to be pretty much not effective.

I stopped taking the Adderal XR because I felt lousy on them for the most part. The only good thing it does is make me able to concentrate on one thing for a much longer time than I normally would be able to. It also helps me think more clearly while the chemical is flooding my brain. Just imagine drinking 10 cups of caffeine at once and keep doing that all day long, and then just stop and boom no more energy etc.

My Doctor really wanted me to go back on Adderal because he thinks I'm too distracted all the time and moving from subject to subject without any order to my thought process. My Doctor believes this will cure me from being so distracted and random all the time. I was very against going back on it. Not just because of how it made me feel last time I was on it, and because every other doctor I asked if it was a good idea to put a person with bi polar disorder on Adderal which again is speed. Every doctor I asked aside from my personal doctor said it is not a good idea to put a person with bi polar disorder on Adderal.

Even though I was against going back on Adderal my doctor persisted, and hounded me to go back on it. So when I saw him last I just gave in. I figured I'd let me write me the script and I could just not take it. Then he would be appeased, and I wouldn't have to keep hearing how much Adderal would help me. This time I told the doctor the only way I would take the Adderal is if they were the rapid release kind, and I the dose had to be much lower. My doctor finally wrote out the script he wanted to write for so long. Adderal 10mg. He wrote it out for me to take twice daily (BID), but he said I did not have to take it twice daily. He said if 10mg was not doing anything I could take two 10mg pills at the same time equaling 20mg once daily.

When I first got the script filled and I saw amphetamine I was freaked out. I thought to myself people are always looking for these pills to get high. Here I am an addict and I'm being told by my doctor to take a medication which is equivalent to speed. I've been in rehab with people who were addicted to this medication. The thing is I do not like the feeling this medication gives me. I do like how I'm able to sit down and write a blog about one subject in an orderly manner. The upside to the rapid release and lower dose is it doesn't linger. I get the crash and I go to sleep. I forgot to mention I also have doctors script for sleeping pills. As well as the anti anxiety med I mentioned earlier, and this helps alleviate the problems I had with the long acting higher dosage Adderal. I've been taking one pill in the morning, and it wears off by 5pm if not sooner. I don't take them on the weekend, or on days I feel depressed, or overly happy.

I'm not sure how many people are really interested in medication, and its effects on me aside from Gledwood. So this one's for you Gleds. I'm pretty sure I got the chemisty and biology totally wrong. I tried.


Bev said...

There giving you lots of medicine.They must know what there doing.but if you dont feel good you let them know.

Gledwood said...

Wow I can actually comment on this ...

I still don't get why you didn't take the pills at the old high dose albeit in instant-release formulation and just stash what you didn't want for a rainy day... know what I mean...

When I wasn't addicted to drugs someone gave me 5x5mg dexamphetamine and I got really high. I even went raving once or twice on just 25 or 30mg dexamphetamine as an alternative to ecstasy... One thing I did notice is, the last time someone gave me some, which was a few years ago when I was bang-on the gear, the effect was way way weaker... Something to do with elevated opiate tolerance giving a cross-tolerance to speed...

Adderall literally IS speed. You know street speed in this country is usually amphetamine sulphate, diluted down to only about 5% pure, so a G of speed is only about 50mg amphetamine. Meaning 5 dexies equates to about half a G of street speed. I gave up on street speed years ago as it's too rough. Crystal meth sounds the same only stronger. I far preferred coke to speed. I don't bother with any uppers now. I use the mini manic episodes I get as my uppers. (Haven't had big mania since last year...)

Yeah and why don't you blog about your bipolar mania. Surely you have some good manic tales to tell me... Please please go on you ARE my cyber wife after all and should want to do anything to please me. So some examples of embarrassing manic behaviour in a long post just about that and just for me PLEASE ;-).........

Anna Young said...

The reason I didn't take the pills with a high dose because I really would never need them for a rainy day. I don't even take the full amount I'm prescribed now. I take two some days, one other days, and non on weekends.

I could't imagine taking dexamphetamine as an alternative to ecstasy. The two drugs couldn't be more diffrent in my opinon. Although I have herd that sometimes E pills are cut with anphetamines. I've only take E pills cut with opiates, or just pure MDMA.

Yes, Gleds, I will write a long indepth blog about a few of my bi polar manias. I've a few that are quit embarrassing, or at least have been embarrassed after I was no longer in a manic state, and was told by a second party what I had done. There is one that happened in a court room, I was the defendent infront of the judge. Why my lawyer took me in the court room in that state I will never understand. Family members where there and sitting outside the court room with me before court was in session, and saw that I was out of my mind. My lawyer even tried to get me to "walk it off". I don't think he unstood bi polar. I think he assumed I was high on drugs.