Tuesday, July 3, 2012

A quick post to show I am on Methadone.

Normally I wouldn't post a photo of Methadone dose because some fucking idot leaves an anonymous cowardly comment. Show your name if your going to be so smug and ask me if I'm really a methadone patient.

This post is for the people I like, and respect. To those whom I have lied to in the past. Never about my MMT, but about a relapse, and about killing myself. Both of which I came clean on within two weeks. I had photos posted on my wordpress.com blog of me both preparing a shot of H, and of me injecting the H into my vein. I had to take it down a few weeks after I came back to this blog, because I posted it after I had started back on MMT. I worried that my councler would see the date the picture was taken, and kick me out of MMT for it. Of course the useless anonymous person who is now requesting that I show proof I'm on MMT never had the guts to email with their email address and request the address to read my wordpress blog where they would have seen photos of me both cooking up and shooting heroin into my vien. If this anonymous fuck wad has been a true follower, and not just some unwanted  COWARD  who reads just make assumptions that my life is in some way not as good as thiers. I've seen the best minds of my generation destroyed, not by maddness, but by working at jobs they hate just to buy things they don't need! People like this who think war is a neccisary part of living in a democratic society. People who do not even realize they think inside the box, therefore are unaware there is an outside of the box.  This is why I hate anonymous commenters, they won't even think of living an alternative lifestyle. To this anonymous person, from this point forward I will not publish comments from cowards such as yourself. I will read them, and if they are as idiotic as this one, boom DELETE!

Word to the unwise ANONYMOUS FUCKWADS, if your parents didn't teach you, that if you have nothing nice or constructive to say/write, don't say/write it at all. I don't go to other peoples blogs and leave stupid, hurtfull, spiteful, comments just to make myself feel better about who I am.

There's also the golden rule. Follow that.
 Oh yeah, even though you post anonymously, I can look at the time stamp of your comment, and go into my stat counter page I've downloaded to my blog, and get your location, how many times you've vistied my blog, what type of devise you used to look at my blog, what exact pages you read today and in the past, and the best part...your ISP. Do you know what a person can do with an ISP address. They can get the address/location that person is reading from. You can also follow what else they are doing on their computer, and if I had a key stoke machine, I could get your password, and do...well...whatever I feel like with your computer and credit cards. Of course I don't know how to do this, but I might know people who do. I'm too nice I would never do such a thing.


Maureen said...

Sweetie, why even try to satisfy these assholes that leave mean and nasty comments?
Yep, COWARDS, that is an excellent
word for those people!!
Good idea about taking the picture
down, you never know who reads your blog. A councilor may just read it. Wanted to blog myself, don't know just where to start though.
Take care of YOU
P.S. Maybe they need to get a life!! !!!!!

naomi said...

i suspect you will still get shit as the label isnt clear, you cnt see what it says or whats in it! i saw those pics, it just looked like water inside there, it was clear as water... as a longterm user they just didnt sit right with me. imo. but i cant say it bothers me. hope life gets better for you anna

Anna Young said...

Look closely at the bottom of the bottle. Pink juice. Do people think that the bottels they give you your dose in is full to the top with liquid. Plus when I lived in Hawaii the methadone was clear. Here in gb its pink. The landen label is not clear because it has private info including my address. I'm not going to show a bunch of people who obsess over every word I write my home address.

Where in the fucking world would I pull a methadone bottle from within minutes of the cowards comment. Was it just siting up my ass, had it there waiting for someone to ask me to show proof I'm on mmt? Come on people use your fucking brains. IDIOT!

Anna Young said...

Thanks Maureen!

If you are thinking about starting a blog and don't know where to start, start by writing about that. Lots of people would read it, if you wrote about struggleing where to start when starting a blog.
When I first started blogging I too thought where the heck do start? What should I write about? When in doubt write about yourself, and the thoughts you normally wouldn't share.
Good luck, I do hope to be able to read your blog posts.

Anna Young said...

Naomi, your talking about the photos of me and the heroin. Yes that water was nearly clear because it was a wash. There is no way i'd slow down getting my first fix by taking pictures.
Why would I inject anything if I had never used heroin? In the pic you could see the blood in the rig when I got a flash just before I pushed the heroin home. A person who does not use heroin wouldnt know how to hit a vain, or know what a flash is.

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kelley said...

Ooohh you cant see the words on the methadone bottle...oh fucking well. get a fucking life. you dont like anna well too fucking bad. you hate on her but still read her blog..hmmm..makes perfect sense..NOT! Fucking cunts. sorry anna but it had to be said!

Gledwood said...

They let you take it home? Congratulations!

ps just another nosey question, are you still on 85mg?

naomi said...

before i even tried heroin i learnt how to hit up with water, it was a selfharm plus a stupid passion to get hold of heroin and wanted to be prepared. what a dick i was, h has ruined my life! like i said ive followed your blog for years (literally! from when i had a junkylife one) so i dont get why ppl follow and abuse you and try and catch you out. im just saying i can see why thry doubt, even a wash is a wash, why fuck up losing your vein by taking a picture? its obviously important to prove your not lying and there is nothing wrong with that- i posted a letter from my doctor on my blog to prove i was in psych care & had been in a coma (a blocks out my address tho)- otherwise you wouldnt do so. i predict you will get called out for ur methadone as here in the uk where irs green, ppl on the street sell it only when you get home you find its water with drops of food colouring in. you could have any bottle there, cant read the label etc etc. could be anything. as i said, its of no concern to me and i dont know why this person is stalking u which essentially is what it is. though i have to say, when it was posted you killed yourself i was really upset and thought about my dad and best friend who had done so and i felt so bad for your family and friends and for a young lift lost- that was never so. your book has a link to tis place, personally id nver have done that if i were writing another book. people wont know what to believe. if somebody can off themselves and upset their readers who believe it or not despite being X MILES away, then casually say oh no i just lied, how do we know whats the truth and what aint? sure hammers home the all junkies are liars stereotype though!

Anna Young said...

I'm at 90mgs now. I went up just two weeks ago. The only reason I have a take home, is because it the 4th of July holiday here in the Sates. The clinic is closed today.

Your right, I've lied and in that I've made my bed now I have to lie in it.
It just really bothers the fuck out of me when people think this whole blog is a lie. That I'm not addicted to opiates or ever was. That I've never been on Methadone? Seriously, what do people think? That I learned every detail there is to know about opiate addiction and iv drug use, and MMT, then decided I would start a blog about my addiction, and make up every single post I've ever written. If that were true I should get some kind of award for writing a fictious blog with the same theme in almost every post.
I had to take those photos of shooting up on wordpress to prove to those of you who followed me there that yes, I am an active heroin addict. Now that I'm not using street heroin, and have cleaned up with MMT, I feel a post of me holding my methadone dose was needed to prove to again those of you who have followed me forever, that I am what I say I am.

That whole suicide thing, I regret everytime I look back on my blog. That post has gotten around 3 thousands views. The most of all my posts by thousands. Then reading the fuck you post I wrote when I came back, and seeing all those comments from the readers I really cared about so deeply hurt and offended. That was a rotten thing to do. When I did write a true appoligy it was too little too late.
You would not believe how many readers I lost because of that stunt. I used to get 300 unique vistors on average every day before that post, now I get on average 30 unique hits everyday. I lost people like Sarcastic Bastard. I still read her blog, but I don't dare comment. I'm afraid she'll tell me off, and that would really hurt my feelings because I really cared about her.

Why did you stop blogging? I've noticed that a lot of people start a blog and after a year, year and a half they just stop posting? Why is that? I understand wanting to end a blog, but for me its always just a passing feeling. Evenutally I come back. I wonder if I used to read your blog? Am I suscribed to it? Hmm...I'll go look now.

Anna Young said...

Ann Arbor Michigan. Concil Bluffs Iowa.

naomi said...

i was girl on gear. why have i stopped? i had it since 2006 and when i got prregnant people accused it of being a lie, andd i thought jesus, even my imagination aint that great to keep a story running for 6months (i was writing about being really ill a stomach ulcer- but after 6 months it was found out i was pregnant). that annoyed me, and secondly, i have to think about my son- even though im at university now and clean from heroin nobody will cut me a break, ill be known as the junkie forever! actually no... i dont think thats right. i dont think ive stopped just got caught up with being a busy mum!

Bev said...

i dont care what ppl think of me.The older i get the less influense I am by what other ppl think.Tell them to go to hell and forget about it.On the web I really dont care.One day I let it get to me cause a lady wrote to me and called me a pig.I dont carry ppls attitude problems with me for the rest of the day.If they got a problem.Its theres not mine.dont take anything to personal because theres nasty ppl mainly here on internet who are so miserable they like to drag you down with them.Dont go down there you got a mind of your own Sweety.Dotn let any one wipe off your smiles.they belong ton you and you alne are the owner of your hapiness.

Gledwood said...

90mg methadone should hold you really well. Unless you really get a ridiculous habit it should continue holding you. Not that I am suggesting anybody ever get any kind of habit again. What a nightmare!

BTW I was a bit like Naomi. I had some sort of obsession with heroin before I even tried it. It's really hard to explain how it went, which is why I never really posted about that one. I suppose at the time (mid-late 90s) it was very much the thing for people who had ordinary jobs (ie who weren't pop stars, bankers or other people with too much money at their disposal) to be taking coke on Friday and Saturday nights. And yet if you even admitted TRYING heroin you'd lose friends over that. So I thought "who is anyone to judge me" so I went out and tried heroin behind my friends' back and in secret and it remained a secret for a couple of years. Until I became such a raving addict everyone knew...