Monday, December 17, 2012

My newly Re-decorated bedroom!

I've taken pictures of my newly decorated bedroom which costed just over $400.00 dollars. The only bought pictures I have on my walls is a 11 by 8 framed photo of Andy Worhal with his arm covering his face and the caption below says, "art is what you can away with" which I remind myself of when writing. Another framed photo is the famous black and white photo of a sailor just back from sea during WW2, kissing a woman like they did in early cinema when "talkies" or films with sound became the norm in the 1920's and still today. One exception of course was the recent film "The Artist" which was a silent film. The last is a framed print by pop artist from the '50's. the other five are childish, unrefined , paintings I painted myself. The only three major pieces of furniture in my room that are not antique, are my book case, the chair at my desk which is just a temporary chair until I buy a more comfortable chair, and of course my T.V. which is more appliance than furniture is a modern T.V....of course if I add the T.V. I must add the laptop at my desk. Those appliances where bought a year ago.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

I am a disgusting fucking junky whore. So go fuck off you cunt. Your not even good at sucking dick, so don't judge me.

I want girls!! :-) I only like the lipstick lesbians, and pretty bi girls. Of course when I do find one, I pick the sweetest gay/bi slut, which makes me feel like the butch bitch. I can never meet a hot one who is less sweet and cute as pie as myself. 8-) I'm sweet, really I am, I'm just always super depressed, or scary happy-I feel happy at least-, but whomever is around me is afraid of me, and gets sick of listening to me singing really fucking loud to obscure shitty music that I really get into when I haven't slept in three or four day, not showered, no changed underwear, brushed teeth, basic hygiene gets pushed to the back of my brain. Once I had my rag while manic, and I just didn't bother with tampons or maxi pads (hate fucking maxis they have no moxie), and an old dope+fuck buddy I was fooling around with at that time, came over to find blood crusted on my crotch, running down my leg. I decided to wear a skirt, so I didn't have to do anything about the blood. Just wipe when I took a piss. I had left blood stains all over in the places I would sit for a extended period of time. I guess it was a good thing that, when I got manic I didn't do much sitting. The fucked up thing is, he fucked me like that. Granted I was begging for it bad (at this point I had my period three or four days) I guess if a crazy girl that is dirty, smelly, with mattes in her hair, and lipstick smeared all over her face begs enough, and does enough kinky shit most guys will fuck anything willing, sometimes even unwilling. This was just before I got on m'done the first time, and was still using mostly Hydromorphone 8's two 8's in the spoon, so really 16 mg per injection.  Normally that did a good job of knocking me out, going on the nod, only waking when my flesh was on fire after my cigarette burned through my clothes. ha, that day the reason he came over was he herd through the vine I had money, and i had bought 20 8's @ $10 a piece. He figured I'd get him high probably. Which I did after our filthy fucking. I had already done a 16 mg shot no more than an half hour b4 he got there, and was still flying manic as if I was on clear. I did another 16 mg shot with him after our "love making session" *roflmao*, about one, may one n a half hours after I had done my first shot.As soon as I unwrapped the shit tie I used as a tourniquet, finally after 4 days on almost zero sleep, I went on the nod, probably came close to dying because the fuck left me alone as soon as he got his fix. I kept my pills in a safe, and luckily I had went into the safe to get three pills 2 me 1 him, and I left the rest locked up, or her would of stole that shit fo sure. Even after that fucked experience I st ill miss the t shit outta those days. Does that mean I'm queer? (as in strange...not gay) Never taking my bi polar meds, and using opiates to control my moods, and when I ran outta opiates, I went MAD, but once I'd gather up the money for a good binge I'd get myself back in order, and do my doctor shopping, and people calling etc... until the next time I have to go sick again. Ahh the good 'ol days. I think I'll go off my meds now, and stop going to the clinic so I can have a real good time. JK! LOL, no, not kidding. Jk, lol, ha. I wonder how people are going to read this? I almost deleted it, but fuck it, I'll copy and paste to my blogger blog too. Everyone who reads that knows I'm disgusting.