Thursday, December 13, 2012

I am a disgusting fucking junky whore. So go fuck off you cunt. Your not even good at sucking dick, so don't judge me.

I want girls!! :-) I only like the lipstick lesbians, and pretty bi girls. Of course when I do find one, I pick the sweetest gay/bi slut, which makes me feel like the butch bitch. I can never meet a hot one who is less sweet and cute as pie as myself. 8-) I'm sweet, really I am, I'm just always super depressed, or scary happy-I feel happy at least-, but whomever is around me is afraid of me, and gets sick of listening to me singing really fucking loud to obscure shitty music that I really get into when I haven't slept in three or four day, not showered, no changed underwear, brushed teeth, basic hygiene gets pushed to the back of my brain. Once I had my rag while manic, and I just didn't bother with tampons or maxi pads (hate fucking maxis they have no moxie), and an old dope+fuck buddy I was fooling around with at that time, came over to find blood crusted on my crotch, running down my leg. I decided to wear a skirt, so I didn't have to do anything about the blood. Just wipe when I took a piss. I had left blood stains all over in the places I would sit for a extended period of time. I guess it was a good thing that, when I got manic I didn't do much sitting. The fucked up thing is, he fucked me like that. Granted I was begging for it bad (at this point I had my period three or four days) I guess if a crazy girl that is dirty, smelly, with mattes in her hair, and lipstick smeared all over her face begs enough, and does enough kinky shit most guys will fuck anything willing, sometimes even unwilling. This was just before I got on m'done the first time, and was still using mostly Hydromorphone 8's two 8's in the spoon, so really 16 mg per injection.  Normally that did a good job of knocking me out, going on the nod, only waking when my flesh was on fire after my cigarette burned through my clothes. ha, that day the reason he came over was he herd through the vine I had money, and i had bought 20 8's @ $10 a piece. He figured I'd get him high probably. Which I did after our filthy fucking. I had already done a 16 mg shot no more than an half hour b4 he got there, and was still flying manic as if I was on clear. I did another 16 mg shot with him after our "love making session" *roflmao*, about one, may one n a half hours after I had done my first shot.As soon as I unwrapped the shit tie I used as a tourniquet, finally after 4 days on almost zero sleep, I went on the nod, probably came close to dying because the fuck left me alone as soon as he got his fix. I kept my pills in a safe, and luckily I had went into the safe to get three pills 2 me 1 him, and I left the rest locked up, or her would of stole that shit fo sure. Even after that fucked experience I st ill miss the t shit outta those days. Does that mean I'm queer? (as in strange...not gay) Never taking my bi polar meds, and using opiates to control my moods, and when I ran outta opiates, I went MAD, but once I'd gather up the money for a good binge I'd get myself back in order, and do my doctor shopping, and people calling etc... until the next time I have to go sick again. Ahh the good 'ol days. I think I'll go off my meds now, and stop going to the clinic so I can have a real good time. JK! LOL, no, not kidding. Jk, lol, ha. I wonder how people are going to read this? I almost deleted it, but fuck it, I'll copy and paste to my blogger blog too. Everyone who reads that knows I'm disgusting. 

8 comments:

Anna Young said...

Hey Gleds, I don't know wtfs up with my comment section. Maybe it was because I hadn't signed into my blog in such a long time. I've been way too fucking busy. I can't say on here what I've been doing. No-one would even believe me so fuck it. It's non of their fucking beeswax anyhow. If you wanna know, and promise to never tell a soul, I will email you and tell you.
I haven't even had time to read your blog, or all the other blogs I used to read at least weekly. I used to read your blog daily, and now its been so fucking long, I feel as though I don't know you very well any longer. I don't know what's going on in your life. My eyes are getting tired, and I want so bad to go catch up on your blog. I'll at least be able to read one or two of your most recent posts!! :-) I'm sorry I haven't been blogging. I'm not using, and I'm not so depressed that I can't bring myself to blog, it truly is because I'm just too busy.
I am going to try an update more often. The shitty thing is, now I have a million good shit to write about, and I can't...on here at least. I can't even do it on my word-press blog, or my blog.com blog. Too many people know about those blogs. I've only posted on WP 5-6 times, and I still get around 20 hits a day. The Googlers who were lead there by some key word. Fuckers. Man my language has become very fucking dirty. LOL.
Stars shining bright above you, night breezes seem to whisper I love you. Birds singing in the Sycamore tree. Dream a little of me. Say nighty night and kiss me, just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me. While I'm alone and blue as can be, dream a little dream of me.
Star fading, but I linger on dear, still craving your kiss. I'm wanting to linger till dawn dear. Sweet dreams till sun beams find you, sweet dreams leave your worries far behind, but in your dreams whatever they may be, dream a little dream of me.
...Stars fading, but I linger on dear. Still craving your kiss. I'm wanting to linger till dawn dear. da daaaa da da da da dadada daa da da dadadada......
Other than that song, I can't really reveal too much. Just email me if ya wanna know more. I'll tell you what I can.
Kisses my darling Gledwood. ...Nighty night, and hold me tight, and tell me you'll miss me. Dream a little dream of me dear. Rated triple for adult content, nudity, violence, adult langue, and subliminal messaging.
:-)* Love,
Anna Grace

P.S. the song above is Mama Cass from the Mama's and the Papa's. Songs title is...you guessed it...Dream a little dream of me...8-)xxx

Anna Young said...

Googel is telling me, some fucker trying getting into my blog to post as if it were me posting back on November 14, 2012. I had to change my password, and now its super long, and I have to write it down somewhere. I also wrote my own security question, that no-else but myself could possibly know the answer. Not even if you buy one of those "Find anyone anywhere for $50 bucks" deals.
What made me think of the post I wrote about tonight, is because I got my period two days ago, and it's been super light, my tampons were coming out with just itty bitty amounts of bloody snatch on them. So lastnight I said screw it, I won't put in a plug tonight, maybe this is just spotting or something. Then around 4pm I had been sitting on the floor of my bathroom giving my bathroom its once a year enema. (getting it so clean its anal) I've been thinking about giving myself coffee enemas in the morning. Recently I've had a bunch of guys tell me its a great way to start your morning. No joke. I really have been told that more than once in the past month. Life, wow.

Anna Young said...

Shit, I got off track with the enema shit talk! ...So I was sitting on my bathroom floor cleaning, and sweating, and thirsty. Hadn't had a cigarette in over an hour. So I got up off the floor, and I just happened to glace at the floor where I had been previously seated, and it looked as if a blood bath had taken place in there. It (period blood) went through my panties, through my jeans, and onto the floor. You would think my panties and jeans would have soaked up most of the blood mess, but no, I was bleeding heavy. There was literally a PUDDLE of blood there. So I took my bottoms off, and sat on the toilet to piss, and used baby wipes (I usually save those for when I use laxatives)to clean my lady peach up, the weird thing was, the blood on the floor was red, and the blood I was wiping up with the baby wipe was brown, and of course clotted. So I had to dirty my freshly cleaned bathtub by putting my jeans and panties in cold water to try an get the blood stains out. So I let it soak for an hour, and went to get them and put them in the laundry. I looked and all water in the bath tube was tainted a reddish brown, sort of rusty colored from the blood. So after draining it, and washing my bottoms, I had fucking clean the bitch out again. I haven't been able to get anything else done today.
Oh yeah, I was talking about re decorating my bed room when I suddenly stopped blogging. Well, update...It's done and it's fucking awesome. All antiques, bed, dresser, night stand, book case, and writing desk next to my window just like I've always wanted. So now I stay in my room mostly instead of out on the couch like before, when my bedroom furniture took up my entire bedroom. I'll take pics. Oh, I also got an iPhone 4s. The 5 is a little too rich for my blood. I love Siri though.

Anonymous said...

when you are insecure about your present, the past always seems more appealing ;)

Gledwood said...

Anna why do you say you'd be the Big Butch Motherfucker Lesbian I've seen the video, you're actually quite girlie. Well you seem it to me. Nothing to stop too girlies getting together...

Now WHERE does this period talk come from? Do you really love periods? All the blood and the mess. I know this might sound perverse but I really love the smell. Reminds me of childhood.

Anna are you manic right now? You sound like you are. I have been manic all week. I feel like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards. I can't be that manic though, as when I was, I was totally impervious to cold, tiredness and hunger. So I felt superhuman. What am I saying: I felt superhuman anyhow!!

I have to go to the dr's tomorrow as my ear is fucked. I stuck my finger in it ~}~~~ JUST MY FINGER, nothing stupid like matchsticks, glasses prongs, chopsticks or whatever. Just my little finger and BAM the bloody thing goes DEAF in an instant. Like as if it's full of pus already and the insertion of the finger pops the inner ear, moving all the pus about and suddenly deafening me.

So I'm gonna go in moaning that I "can't eat, can't sleep" and hit him for a strip of zopiclones. Zopiclone is like the shit in Lunestra and it's by FAR the best sleeping tab on the UK market. The only one that actually does make me sleep. Instead of just watching tv all night feeling rubbery (temazepam).

Then I'll crap on and on about my ear and try and find out what the fuck is wrong. I'm glad I'm hypomanic because I had a real intense paroxysm of laughter about a half hour ago and BANG ear clear. Yeah, just from laughing. How potty is that? I'm still going dr's though. For those sleepers. And for some antibiotics or whatever.

Oh BTW I stopped my Seroquel COMPLETELY because I was depressed and wanted to switch my mood. It was just an intuition but I reckon mood stabilizers can actually keep your mood down, when you're depressed. Because they're stopping it cycling up. Does this make any sense to you..? Well I did stop them, over about a week, taking less and less each day and WOW I feel 1000 times better now. Real entertaining periods of pacing back and forth while laughing unrestrainedly. I love feeling like that. And every time I talk to another person I either feel I'm so fascinating, witty and charming. Or else I do the charming bit. My friend took passport photos the other day but it took ages because I couldn't stop smiling and you're not allowed to smile for your passport. What am I saying it was for a free bus/train/tube pass... O man my mind is a whirl. Would you like a parrot? I've got parrots on the brain. I FEEL like I've got a parrot IN MY BRAIN ranting away. Every time I sit still it's rant rant rant squark squark shriek shriek. I think in my past life I used to be the cuckoo in a cuckoo clock. Anyway darling I must go. DON'T GET TOO MUCH BLOOD ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR NOW ;-) :-) ;-)

And happy xmas to you and Eleanor R XxXxXxX

Gledwood said...

Oh the comment problems are something to do with the crappy outdated browsers they use in this internet cafe. Yes I'm still using the internet cafe to blog. People keep staring at me because I can't stop laughing half the time. + also probably because I haven't showered in 3 days and reek like a pole cat.

do you not bother with showers when you're manic? I do. + when I'm depressed.

so i barely shower at all!!!

Gledwood said...

Oh darling can you please come by my blog and spray it with chirpy, entertaining or bizarrre comments. Don't worry if you can't think up anything sensible. You don't need to make sense. I don't.

If you really are feeling shy, just pretend to be an uptight southerner who is morally opposed to everything, totally into family values and yet secretly a gay crackhead alcoholic. Hey that would make a good commenter persona ;-)

Old Mother Crack Pot said...

Oh hello Anna my lovely. I have been longing to get in touch for quite some time. I have been reading your blog aloud to my blind sister every day. Sometimes she laughs to heartily she pisses her panties and soaks them right through. I'd be careful what I put from now on because she is threatening to sue you for the cost of a lifetime's supply of incontinence support knickers. Also she has Alzheimer's so I frequently have to read your latest declarations five or six times a day or more. And at top volume, because she is so deaf. It's putting a strain on my voice and the neighbors do love to complain. So I must please ask you to moderate the length of your rantings. Purely for the sake of my voice and to save the feelings of our Jehovah's Witnessing neighbors.

Oh dear me, Custard, my English mastiff/chihuahua cross has just done a turd on the front door step and I must clear it up before the parish priest calls round. Frankly I'm rather hoping he has to read my sister the Last Rites tonight. That lesbianism and periods post drove her potty and she insisted I read it aloud eight or nine times and got through a whole box of support pants in the space of an afternoon. I do love her but honestly her "foibles" are exhausting me.

Well my dear I have to go. Take care of yourself and do consider wearing those brick-like pads for heavy flow. Then next time maybe you'll get less gunge on the bathroom floor.
Kind regards.